The scent of consciousness: a concept for noticing your energy
The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
- Rumi
“His attitude stinks.” “She’s a breath of fresh air.” “I smell a rat.” You emit energy. Like flowers have fragrance, like … garbage is smelly.
Your words, your energy, your vibe … they smack or sweeten someone else’s energy field — like fragrance wafts into their olfactory system.
Short story: My boy and I are on a holiday. Alongside a bunch of other tourists of all shapes and sizes, we’re crammed in the back of a shuttle van going from the hotel to the main attraction. Tourist Lady in the front starts complaining about the hotel service. She has a valid point. But she goes on, and ON. And it escalates into name calling and general unclassy-ness. The driver dude is respectfully nodding his head. We’re trapped. I say nothing, play with my kid’s fingers, enjoy the view.
We get out of the van and I say to m’boy, calmly, neutrally, curious: “So what’d you think of that lady and what she had to say?”
The Kid: She kinda stunk up the whole van with her talking, didn’t she?
Me: Yep. That’s what ‘mean’ smells like. Complaining is a vibe. Happiness is a vibe. And everyone around you can smell your vibe.
The Kid: Well she should have shut her vibe up sooner.
“Emitting energy” can be such an abstract term to get a hold of, but if we imagine that our consciousness has a fragrance, if we visualize that our words, our gaze, our thoughts have a scent, then the concept starts to land. And then maybe we become more aware of what we’re emanating — or what’s left behind after we leave the room.
Bubble gum requests, jasmine invitations, the rose of compassion, citrus encouragement, the trace of a little lie, the stench of nasty, confection affection, the smelling salts of truth, the spice of provocation… What’s your signature blend?
Get your writing groove on.
My co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan, Linda Sivertsen, is sharing her get-unstuck, get-writing, and get-published wisdom in this online event: The Transformational Author Experience.
Hosted by author, Christine Kloser, the event — running from May 20-31st — features 21 bestselling authors who will help you up your inspiration and get strategic, savvy, insider know-how so you can turn your idea into a published book. And the whole thing is free.
You get access to all the expert training, plus details about the Transformational Author Writing Contest when you register HERE. Linda is a fireball of motivation, and has story after story of publishing pitfalls and wins. Listen in.
Replenish your creativity. Deepen your strategy. Get your book into the world.
What’s your Creativity Pattern?
As artists (and we’re all artists) we have patterns of creating. A way that we typically make things happen. A style in which we pull ideas down from the ethers and put them into form. It takes a while to figure out what your pattern of creativity is. You need to have cranked out a few projects, raised a few babies, made a few flops and masterpieces to have something to ‘retrospect’ on.
Styles of creating, in no particular order, with no superiority to each other:
Pounds at possibilities like a stick on a piñata until it rains down candies of goodness.
Plods like an ox and patiently awaits the harvest.
Falls in love again and again with ideas and people and keeps falling in love every time.
Dances with harmony, always looking for the most beautiful solution and energetic alignment.
Moves mountains no matter what listening to heavy metal or Madam Butterfly cranked in the background.
Stops ‘n starts. Rushes in.
Studies. Awaits providence.
Sticks to the plan. Plans big. Has no plans.
Yields. Pushes. Paints it red. Sets it on fire.
As for me, I’m the fool who rushes into creative love. I create when I resonate. As Mumford & Sons puts it, “I will love with urgency, but not with haste.” I wait, I wait, I wait — patient as a cat in the sun — for the right collaborator, for the God Blessed Right Idea, and then BAM. It’s game on. Full on, right away, tight deadlines and all hands on deck. Run with the gold.
I’ve judged my Creativity Pattern over the years — and believe me, it’s been judged by my collaborators. Overly selective. Too impulsive. Too fast. I should have a five-year plan, and, you know, some goals. But everything great I’ve done shows evidence of the same rhythm. Selective impulsivity works for me in all kinds of ways.
I’ve polished my pattern over time. My launch dates are more humane. (Kinda.) I’m more patient. (Debatable.) But mostly, I’ve gotten clear that I create by relating deeply — deeply, with an idea, and with the people who can lift up those ideas. Like I said, Fool For Love and proud of it.
When you identify your Creativity Pattern you’ve got a very powerful opportunity: Change the way you get stuff done because it’s killing you, or keep mastering your tao of doing because it’s getting you beautiful results across the board.
There’s a pattern to what you’ve pulled off in the past. It wants to show you your way in the world.
What I know about working with people (and yes, this also applies to romance — as does most business advice)
If you want to build remarkably awesome things, then partner with people who feel like their whole life has prepared them for the opportunity at hand. If someone says something like, “My whole life has led me to this point,” then you should really consider hiring them, collaborating with them, or making out with them.
Winners are enthusiastic. Fuck “cool,” coy and vague. Enthusiasm is magnetic. (Worth noting: Too much enthusiasm, like any medicine, can be poison. You’ll know the right dose when you taste it.)
Pay attention to the degree and frequency of drama that people conjure up in their lives outside of work. For two reasons. One: Drama Queens & Kings can be energy-suckers and are highly susceptible to distraction. You don’t need that. Two: Dramatists will make drama out of things that are better kept simple.
Drama is inevitable, of course, but how people handle the big stuff outside of work is how they will handle the big stuff in business.
We all have karma, lessons to learn, and old family issues to sort out. And we burn karma, learn lessons, and sort out family stuff through… work. Collaborating with another human — especially a team of humans — is messy, deeply personal, profoundly meaningful stuff, and it should be treated as such. Personally speaking, if you’re working with me, I know we’ve come together to do two things. One: Evolve as humans. Two: Make great stuff for the world. Sometimes it’s unclear as to which is which, and I’m good with that.
We are all imperfect, flawed, neurotic, and quirky. If you think a perfect team (or partner) is one that is quirk-free and collectively has their shit sorted out, then you should probably consider hermitude as an option. Everyone has their weird stuff, they will bring it to the table, and it will cost you money and time. That’s just the way it is.
Even steep, long learning curves can be endured if the learner is showing initiative. Lack of initiative means they’re probably in the wrong place at the wrong time.
It’s not always the right time to work with great people. Sometimes, you need to keep moving on despite their greatness. (Fret not, even though star quality is rare, stars will circle back into your orbit when the time is right.)
Arrested development is a phenomenon that you will need to account for more often than you would prefer to. Like the 47-year-old CEO who is still stuck at the age of 15 when he/she was traumatized by unpopularity. We carry our pain into our positions of power.
“Clearing up an issue” with someone in the presence of a larger group is potentially very damaging. If you have an issue with someone, go one-on-one.
It only takes a half a second to write “please” or “thank you” at the beginning or end of a sentence. It adds up to months of mutual respect.
We all just want to be seen and heard. No exceptions.
We’re all just here to love and be loved. All the time.
Danielle Magazine: Call for submissions!
We want your stories, your wisdom, your light. This is our first round of submissions for the inaugural issue of DANIELLE Magazine, debuting in September. This magazine-meets-journal will be unlike anything you’ve ever seen or read. High-minded, full-hearted, gorgeous — both in PRINT and digital!
We’re looking for writing and visual brilliance. Words, art, imagery. Everyday opinions, deep thinking, snapshots, paintings — your expressions.
CLICK HERE for a submissions overview and to get a peek at the theme of our first issue.
(And I just gotta say: This is so damn exciting I can hardly contain myself!)
See you on the submissions page xo
Love your sadness. It won’t last.
I was feeling it. Pure sadness — the inescapability of it plowing through the softest part of me. When you’re in that kind of painful place you’ll try to climb the walls to get away from it. You want it over with.
“Love your sadness. It won’t last long.” A friend texted me late at night. I caught it just as I was turning off my bedroom light.
Love my sadness?
Love my sadness.
Sadness, I love you.
Let me give you a kiss, instead of my fist.
You’re heavy, but you’re so honest.
I should give you more credit. More space.
I’ll be grateful when you leave —
but I know I’ll be grateful that you came.
A metaphor: You know when you catch a cold, and part of you is just a bit grateful for it? The cold itself sucks. But it gives you a reprieve, an excuse to stop, curl up, wind down — it demands a compassionate response.
And if you’re smart, you milk it. Take the day off, order in, watch the entire “Breaking Bad” series on Netflix, sleep… a lot. And while you’re sleeping off your fever, you get the sense that you’re burning off months of built up stuff — and sorting out some internal things. You get better, you put fresh sheets on the bed, and you’ve got a new attitude.
Same thing with sadness.
Sadness gives you the chance to be still with the most tender place of your being.
Sadness is an opportunity to deeply appreciate your losses and your longings.
Sadness brings you eye to eye with your desires.
Appreciation is fuel for change.
Love gives your sadness the energy it needs to move through you… so it can move on.
By loving your sadness, you’re respecting your truth.
And freedom always follows truth.
Listening is giving the other person the experience of being heard.
I did a gig with Mr. Bix Bickson of Institute B. An all-day event where we wax philosophical n’ strategic, and try to turn our in-the-trenches tales into something useful for entrepreneurs. The diamond of the day:
Listening is giving the other person the experience of being heard.
- Bix Bickson
And everyone in the room went, Ohhhhhh.
Listening isn’t waiting for your turn to talk. It’s not devising your case in between pauses. It’s not even about understanding what the other person means, necessarily — and it’s certainly not about agreeing.
Listening is giving the other person the experience of being heard.
What would it look like for you to practice this? How will you be while someone is speaking? What energy will you radiate? How would this intention affect your presence, your clarity of mind, the way you hold your body, the space around your heart, the depth of your breath, the cadence of your words … your gaze.
It becomes a giving, not a taking. Imagine that. Imagine how the phenomenon of feeling heard — seen, received, met — would change absolutely everything.
Listening is giving the other person the experience of being heard. – @bickstweet
A Spring Love Letter & Soundtrack. Joy, guilt, agitation. Near death experiences and going with the flow: April Roundup
11 Pointers on good digital manners, yo. People say all kinds of stuff online that they wouldn’t have the audacity to say face-to-face. They get, as my friend, psychotherapist Terri Cole puts it: “cyber balls.” Uh huh…
What are you doing TODAY to feel the way you want to feel? Sometimes, the way to fulfilled desire is a dramatic gesture or a major leap. But mostly, it’s a daily practice of choices for intentional pleasure…
The difference between happiness & joy. And why it helps to know. Because joy is so foundational to your true being, every other state or emotion can rest on top of joy, it can accommodate everything…
I always wanted to have a near death experience … something that wasn’t too terrifying or disabling. Quick recovery. Just enough death to get me to the Tunnel of Light…
You’re going to feel guilty The guilt of following your heart is a weight you can bear if your dream is strong enough. It’s the price of admission to fulfillment…
What it really means to ‘Go with the flow’ When you go with the flow, you’re surfing Life force. It’s about wakeful trust and total collaboration with what’s showing up for you…
Longing through destruction to creation. A Spring Love Letter & Soundtrack for you. Anyone in the midst of big change, take note: If you excavate one area of your life, you’re going to find diamonds and stones everywhere else. It’s stunning. (Also, Annie Lennox, Led Zeppelin, Diana Ross…)
The Desire Mapping Groups Guide: for book clubs and life-enhancing gatherings If there’s one thing the world needs more of, it’s people gathering together with the singular focus of supporting each other to feel the way they want to feel…
New Age Judge Judy and Lessons in Yoga Class On the self-help track, there’s a tendency to punish ourselves for so-called “negative feelings” and then go about “fixing” those feelings. It’s a pretty screwed up path to compassion…
New Age Judge Judy and Lessons in Yoga Class
So I’m in yoga class. I’ve had a good day. Now my prana is pumping, my heart is happy. But … I’m getting increasingly, irritatingly agitated.
It’s the teacher — a lovely human with the best of intentions. But Yoga Teacher is driving me nuts. Yoga Teacher never shuts up. Yoga Teacher has that particular kind of style where every single micro gesture of the posture is explained — intensely, with complete and utter precision … ceaselessly. I’m sure that style works for some, but it makes my Downward Facing Dog very growl-ish. Grrrrr.
So I’m thinking, “Honey, puhleeeease shut up. I’m trying to be peaceful and divine over here.” The irony.
And then New Age Judge Judy shows up in my head and says:
Danielle, this is your lesson. Peace in chaos, love in irritation. Come on, find your flow and let it go. This is the lesson tonight … be … better.
New Age Judge Judy would have me believe that I’m a spiritual dork for being irritated, and that I need to “work on myself.” But you see what’s really happening? I’m judging myself for how I feel. Before I even give myself a chance to learn anything at all, I’ve invalidated what’s really happening for me.
On the self-help track, there’s a tendency to punish ourselves for so-called “negative feelings” and then go about “fixing” those feelings. It’s a pretty screwed up path to compassion.
Back to that class…. I finish. I’m relieved. I can laugh it off. I drive home — prana is pumping, my heart is happy. I didn’t catch Yoga Teacher’s name and inadvertently, I end up in that same Yoga Teacher’s class the following week.
And New Age Judge Judy has a field day in my head:
See! You didn’t get the lesson the last time. If you can be at peace when Yoga Teacher is on your nerves, then you’re truly spiritual. Ascend!
And then I had a revelation between Warrior One and Triangle Pose:
Suck it, New Age Judge Judy. You know what the lesson is for me? To honour what feels right and what feels wrong. To select my teachers in life so I can deepen my devotion. Self discernment is self love.
When you consciously choose your teachers, you expand your own power.
And with that revelation, I smiled to myself in Reverse Swan Dive. I deepened my bends. I blessed Yoga Teacher’s diligence and radiance. I drove home — prana pumping, heart happy.
And I never went back again.
The Desire Mapping Groups Guide: for book clubs and life-enhancing gatherings
We’re wired for connection, communion, togetherness.
And if there’s one thing the world needs more of, it’s people gathering together with the singular focus of supporting each other to feel the way they want to feel.
If you feel inspired to be the hub of a group like this, I present to you:
This detailed book club guide is full of ideas on how to create your group (with copy+paste email invitations), tips on structuring your group time and content plans to stir up rich, rewarding conversations.
You don’t need to have hosted a book club before. You don’t need a massive group of people in order for it to be worthwhile. It could be just you and your best friend, or you and your partner or you and the entire neighborhood.
Sound the call and gather together for your desires.
Dig into the Desire Mapping Groups book club guide HERE.
To purchase access to the full, multi-media Desire Map program, click HERE. Or if you’d like to place a bulk order at a special rate, write to us at [email protected].
To fulfilled wishes,
