Why I stopped meditating: acts of rebellion + intention
“Meditator” isn’t a label I’d give myself, though I’ve meditated for years — in temples, on the bus, on cushions, in the tub, with and without formalities and teachers. (People who put things like, “And Joe has been a meditator for twenty years…” in their bios make me wonder. Unless of course, you’re a mediation teacher. But otherwise it doesn’t impress me as a pick up line, mostly because I’ve known some long-time meditators who were very cranky, or paranoid, or rude to waiters. Meditating doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be more compassionate or loving, it just means you can call yourself a meditator.)
I’m Meditator Lite. Meditator Light. Reluctant, Flailing, Empassioned…person who meditates.
But I then stopped formally meditating. Intentionally. Not like when you don’t go to the gym one week and then a month goes by, not that kind of slow halt. I actually declared that I would not sit in lotus or pick up mala beads, or watch my breath for, well, maybe forever. The very thing I was doing to feel liberated felt confining.
My practice — which was not that grueling to begin with — started to feel like one more thing to do. Meditation became an assignment and I felt I was being graded by an invisible monk. Polishing my consciousness, counting my mantras, strength-building — achieving. Meditating was becoming a way to reinforce my “goodness” — good at taking care of myself, good at seeking, good at being holistic, good at being good. And meditation was becoming a crutch for being “on”. Meditate before the gig, the interview, the meeting to make sure I was ON TOP OF IT. I felt pressured to meditate to relieve the pressure. From this frustration, a question surfaced: How present would I be if I didn’t focus on being “prepared”? I dared myself.
Some very beautiful things happened when I stopped meditating.
I learned to work without a net.
I learned that I am still loving and insightful even if I don’t pause for cosmic clearance. A deeper kind of strength came forth — calm, and ancient, and sturdy.
From my new vantage point, I could see with great clarity the essential reasons that I had meditated — and I gave myself permission to love those soul inclinations:
I meditate for comfort.
This is an admission of sorts that gives me great relief. I don’t necessarily sit to empty my mind, or to “grow”. I meditate because I deeply crave the comfort of connection with, if even just a taste of, The Mother of The Mother of All Things Ever. I crave The Spaciousness That Cradles, The Light That Burns Boundaries. I want to be home. This feels so good. I want to feel that good as much as possible. Yep, I meditate for comfort.
I meditate for disruption.
Sometimes I go digging in the back alley of my psyche just to stir shit up. I look for lurking fears and I turn up the volume on the critical tapes. I tend to do this when my psyche is like still water, just when things were going so well. I love this act of conscious antagonism. It shows me my power to heal, how far I’ve come, what monsters are still misbehaving at my table and who at that table needs more compassion.
When my meditation is an act of loving others, I get higher, faster.
The times when I devote a meditative session to someone/something else — whether it’s a string of mantras, or sending someone light while I’m sitting on a park bench — I get a rush of divine currency that is the yum of being alive. I like it. A lot. The surest way to experience oneness is to be the giver.
Intention is everything.
Meditation is an act of compassion for myself and others — when I come from a place of compassion. When I meditate to achieve, it’s a striving; when it’s to prove something, it turns into enduring. And when you’re in a place of compassion – you’re able to be more fully present with all of it — the pain and the joy, yours and others.
Sometimes, you need to stop taking your medicine to let your body heal itself. Sometimes, you need to pause so you can move forward. Sometimes, you need to turn away from something so you can see why you fell in love in the first place.
Make Money. Change The World: My Big B-School Giveaway and a Tell All Q+A.
Women who get and leverage online marketing have the highest profits, the best customers, and a business that makes money 24-7.
It doesn’t matter if you’re selling products or services, whether you sell jewellery or you’re a coach or an author, and it doesn’t matter if you have a local business or if you’ve got customers all over the world — doing business online is the new reality of doing business.
- Marie Forleo.com
Let me slowly repeat the key part of this statement o’ gold: Women who “get” and leverage online marketing have the highest profits. That says it all. If you’re a consultant, an activist, a widget maker, a fashionista, a writer, or you’re thinking about busting your day job — your profit will be the result of understanding and rocking out the phenomenon of online communication. In this wired world, information is power, and inspiration is pure energy. My vocational sister, Marie Forleo delivers both. Impeccably. Like nobody else.
Rich Happy & Hot B-School 2012. Registration opens TODAY, Friday May 11. And I’m celebrating with big gifts for the women (and cool men) who sign up…and! people who spread the word.
If you’ve been riding with me for a while you know that my recommendations are few n’ far n’ heartfelt. Last year, I sent dozens of women to Marie’s B-School and they came back with stories to tell: of launching, of having their first big money month, of nuking what wasn’t working and making new stuff that felt good to make. One B-School graduate, Angie Wheeler, turned up the volume on her business and she’s now MY business manager. Yep — all the online products I put into the world are driven by what Angie learned in B-School.
Forleo makes me want to up my game. Not just because of the on-the-mark advice she gives me — but because of how she runs her business — with integrity and velocity, and fierce love. Because we’re buds, I got to see under the hood of the NEW B-School, and when I did, I texted Marie: “you’ve out-fucking-done yourself! this will change lives. crazy impeccable. impressed, happy for u, in awe. xo” You will be amazed.
PART 1
My Big B-School Giveaway
I’m celebrating people who join B-School (and the people who help spread the word), with my best gifts
REGISTER FOR B-SCHOOL here and you’ll get YOUR BIG BEAUTIFUL BOOK PLAN (regularly $150) + THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS trinity: a copy of the hardcover book + the digital version for your Kindle or Nook + the audio edition for your iPod — that’s 7 hours of motivation, baby. ($76) So that’s $226 in prezzie love.


REGISTRATION For Rich Happy & Hot B-School OPENS TODAY, Friday May 11. This only applies to people you have NOT yet signed up for B-School. Howevah, there’s another way to win the goodies I’m giving away. Read on…
To get access to the bundle I’m giving away click the button below to sign-up for B-School and you’ll be brought to an info + FAQ page.
(you MUST click the pink button below to start eligibility for the booty loot)

PART 2
A Rapid Fire Tele-Q&A with LaPorte + Forleo this Monday
If you want to warm up before you sign up, or if you want direct access to our brain reserve, then jump on the line with us this Monday May 14 at 12 noon PST/3pm ESTfor a free telejam.
A book worm and a Jersey girl. No trust funds, no degrees. No offices. Just laptops and attitude. Jump cut to international book deals, 7-figure online businesses, and lotsa checks to charity. We did it. With integrity.
How can we help YOU to do it with YOUR style? What do you want to know about profit clarity, integrity branding, launching, and keeping your creative mojo up? Bring us your Q’s and we will deliver the A’s.
Rapid Fire Tele Q&A with
Danielle LaPorte + Marie Forleo
MONDAY MAY 14
12 noon PST / 3pm EST
free
(The call is over. Signup to get the recording)
Part 3
The person who uses any of the below messages the most on Twitter, Facebook or blogs will win Your Big Beautiful Book Plan and THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS trinity — regardless of whether you register for B-School through me as the affiliate, or if you’ve ALREADY registered. Buzz it up! (be sure to use my @DanielleLaPorte + this link: http://bit.ly/rhhbsc so we can track it.)
Make Money. Change The World: My Big B-School Giveaway and a Tell All Q+A.
@MarieForleo’s B-School just got hotter. @DanielleLaPorte is stepping up with major giveaways.
Raving endorsement for @MarieForleo B-School & a BIG giveaway from @DanielleLaPorte Get on it
Want in on @MarieForleo B-School? @DanielleLaPorte is has gifts at the door for you. BIG gifts
Invest in yourself. Up your game. Pump up what’s possible. And make it happen.
I’ll be at the finish line cheering for you,

Friday’s Thank You Gift
The Workbook O’ Fire contains ALL of the worksheets that appear in THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS. 17 of them. So for those of you who can’t bear to write in the book, or who got the Kindle or Nook or audio edition…voila! They’re all here in one place to be printed out and inked up with your knowing.
These exercises aren’t fluffy Q&As repackaged from all the self -help seminars we’ve all been to. These worksheets have some traction. You’ll think. You’ll go deeper. You’ll let go. You’ll take action.
Thank you for being here. xo
Wednesday’s Thank You Gift
Who loves ya, baby? I do!
THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS is also available as an audio book. I get to go all sultry Kerouac and ar-tic-u-late my worrrds. But that’s beside the point.
PREZZIES!
Audio segment: Calling All Sovereigns of Time!
I loved recording the audio. Three long days, in a dark room in LA, drinking tea and talking about myself. Hell ya!
Tuesday’s Thank You Gift
As promised, for your ever-loving ra-rah, I humbly thank you.
You asked for it, here it is: We took the CREDO FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN video and turned it into an audio MP3file that you can listen to on your iPod before you give a big presentation, ask for a bank loan, propose, leave the house, brush your teeth, trip the light fantastic…
Turn up the volume,

xoxo
Me ‘n’ The New York Times. And We, The People.
Every Wednesday at about 5pm EST, book industry insiders get a peek at the results for The New York Times Bestseller List.
But that’s not where this story begins.
Back up to launch week for THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS: The book hits #1 in three Amazon categories, we ship thousands of copies. I appear on over eighty websites from Forbes to The Happiness Project, morning talk shows, and radio. Book reviews = freaking fabulously heart warming. Thousands of you cheering me on on Facebook and Twitter. The Credo for Making It Happen video topped 40,000 You Tube views. A 30 Day featured video program on The Huffington Post… As book launches go, this was, ya know, a good one.
My publishing team and I were optimistic but restrained. We never uttered the words ‘sure thing’. Because baby, the book business breaks hearts all the time.
Enter, my Whacky Wednesday. My inbox was burning up, “Did you hear if you made The Times list?! Call me when you know!” I text a Hollywood friend: “waiting is killing me. want to puke. is this what it’s like waiting for Oscar noms to be announced?” His answer: “yep”.
I’m in my car. In a parking lot. Cell phone rings. It’s my editor.
She’s speaking more softly than usual. “We didn’t make The List”, she says. Time warbles. Silence. Simultaneous thought waves: Doesn’t matter, we made a helpful book; Doesn’t matter, there’s a bigger plan; But…what the fuck?!
Even though we sold enough copies to make it on the list…even though we sold more than some of the books that did make the list… nope, didn’t get on. Yep, it’s a head-spinner. And yep, this happens with some frequency for authors. So we start deducing. We already knew that the digital and audio versions sold wouldn’t count (I know, sad trombone, especially because y’all bought lotsa Kindle + Nook editions). Apparently The Times favors books sold in actual bookstores (you know, the five of them that are left standing in North America), and so many of my sales were through online outlets. So if y’all want to walk into a bookstore and pick up a few copies next week then…maybe…
The Times ‘weights’ bulk orders differently so maybe the 650 people who left my book party with books…maybe that didn’t count. And kinda like you never win an Oscar on your first nomination, there’s a theory that The Times would rather put you on the list with your second major book. Maybe… Or maybe it’s because my Venus is in Aries.
Metrics of success = Make art that feels good to make + Create resonance + Get feedback that it’s useful. And…the brass ring would be, like, a very helpful bonus.
Seth Godin analyzed my bestseller aim and miss in this post: Avoiding False Metrics. God bless. He warned me weeks before, essentially saying to me, Your book deserves to be there, but why bother if the system is so corrupt? He’s not a fan of the List. “Crooked and unfair,” he says.
There are 27 sound career reasons to aim for the brass ring of your industry, and there are just as many reasons to not bother with it. Awards do not define your art, but they might mean that more people get to see it. My Tao gets down to this: First, and always fundamentally, pour your heart into something that you hope will resonate and elevate. Then, give it it’s best chance at spreading like wildfire.
The answer to the following is Oh Hell Yes!:
Did I buy my yearly pack of smokes that night and cry on my porch?
Did I feel slightly fucked over?
Do I still believe, with every cell of my being, that there is tremendous power in declaring your dreams?
Will I continue to be vocal about my ambitions?
Do I still believe that you should want what you want with all your heart and give all you’ve got to give?
And that EVERYTHING IS PROGRESS?
If making a book that lotsa people are finding useful, but didn’t get approved by the ol’ bastion of book approval is the worst of my problems, then, well, there is no problem. Rather…There’s a new level of liberation. The kind of liberation that THE FIRE STARTERS SESSIONS is all about.
Where this story really begins.
I don’t journal, I’ve never been to a writer’s workshop, I still feel weird putting “writer” in the occupation field on forms. I seek truth for myself — but I write for other people. So this story begins with you.
You were rooting for me. You rallied for this book. You Facebooked, you tweeted, you Instagram’d, you “kissed the UPS guy” when he showed up at your door with the book. Thousands of you got.the.book.
And, you’re still getting the book. And telling friends, and ordering boxes for your staff, and “doing yoga with the audio.” And sending love letters. That kill me.
You taught me what I’ve been preaching about for so long: There’s nothing to lose when you fully show up.
Thank you for a beautiful beginning.
Ever true,

Check back Tuesday because I’m giving away thank you gifts all week. Like Hanukkah. Except in May. Except I’m not Jewish. But I am passionately grateful for your unceasing chutzpah.
Mavens. Connectors. Visionaries. Promoters. Identifiers. Which are you?
Some of us are natural MAVENS, like my girl friend Kate Northrup. If you hang out with her for two seconds, you’ll get that Kate is a glowing database of yoginis and coaches, workshops, must-reads, gotta-do’s. Her tribe expects her to refer and rave about what moves her, and Kate is thrilled to rave. She just can’t hold back.
Some of us are natural CONNECTORS, like Michael Ellsberg. He’s interviewed billionaires and start-up wunderkind. He always finds a way to get to anyone. He asks penetrating questions, truly listens, and gets a total rush from making introductions. He’s proud of going out of his way to connect people.
Some of us are natural VISIONARIES, a.k.a. possibility addicts. That would be me. Show me a living room, tell me a business idea, whisper a plan, and I’ll go off about furniture placement and content ideas and over-arching strategies. It’s a total turn on for me to clarify and magnify. I’ve been known to map out business plans and book ideas with strangers in the park — simply can’t resist.
Some of us are natural PROMOTERS. Like Eric Handler, the founder of PostivelyPositive.com. He started ‘promoting’ inspirational quotes on Facebook, and 1.2 MILLION fans later, he spun off a website that promotes positive story telling and teaching. When he says, “How can I help get you out there?” he means it with every savvy cell he’s got. An when he’s in, he’s in.
Some of us are natural IDENTIFIERS, like Terri Cole. Cole’s a psychotherapist-coach, and, as my mother would say, Terri can “shoot bullshit out of the air.” Lucid, like wow. She can look at a relationship dynamic, or a business structure, or a repeating pattern pattern and bam, fwam, shazam, she can tell you what’s really going on in one sentence, in one minute. And she does it freely, anytime of the day, with anyone who’s ready for it.
Point #1: Mavens, Connectors, Visionaries, Promoters, and Identifiers are cousins in talent, similar and thus often mistakenly interchanged. But it’s important to distinguish yourself amongst these roles so you can move into your zone of mastery.
Which are you most often, most habitually? When you know which role comes most naturally to you, that which gives you the most joy, be more of THAT.
Point #2: When you’re operating from your true strength, you’re…thrilled; get a total rush; feel proud; get totally turned on; mean it with every cell you’ve got; do what you do freely anytime of the day, with anyone who’s ready for it.
Point #3: Be discerning with your gifts.
All of the people I’ve mentioned here aren’t willy nilly about doing what they do best. They’re successful because they’re mindful about who and what they maven for, connect, visioneer, promote, and identify. They throw their seeds on fertile ground and they’re comfortable saying no, thank you to low-resonance situations.
Point #4: Once you decide to give, really really give.
Everyone I know who operates in their true strength and is intentional about where they put their energy, is incredibly generous once they decide to shine their light on someone or something. They give their all, because they’re coming from a place of limitless strength and love.
Lucky us.
What do you want… that you already have?
Make a list of what you desire.

Easy, right? More love, money, time, tenderness, play, money, comfort, power, freedom, culture, entertainment. You can get really specific with particular areas of your life, like, “I want to laugh more with my man.” Or “I want an additional $500 every pay period.” Or, “I want to spend more time in nature.” Or, “I want a friend to tell my big dreams to.”
I’m a raving fan of wishing and want-lists. But the downside is that wish lists can distract us from what’s already working in our life. And when you notice how rich you already are, you tend to prosper more.
Go through your wish list and next to each want think about where you already have that quality or experience in your life — you might have to dig deep to find it. That’s okay. You’ll find it somewhere. Even if it’s just a speck.
“I want to laugh more with my man.” = Sally makes me laugh my ass off at least twice a week. Jack at work is good for a giggle everyday. (Action note to self: Call Sally more. Thank her for making me laugh. Hang out with Jack at the water cooler.)
“I want an additional $500 every pay period.” = I got money back from income taxes! I get a paid holiday next week. Now that I work at home on Fridays, I save $100 bucks a month on train fair and lunch out. (Affirmative note to self: my money/energy flow is increasing.)
“I want to spend more time in nature.” = Even though I work in florescent lights and haven’t been hiking all year, I’m bringing flowers to work this week, sleeping with the windows open, sitting on my balcony to say prayers every night before bed. (Action note to self: book that hike in NOW. No excuses.)
“I want a good friend to tell my big dreams to.” = My journal, my dog, and my deaf grandma are all great listeners. I can tell them anything and everything about my dreams and they don’t judge me. (Affirmative note to self: even if I don’t have a best friend who gets me, life hears my dreams. Every single one.)
Here’s what happens when you find evidence of dreams come true in your current reality (even if it’s a stretch to do so)
: you take the neediness vibe out of your aspirations, and when you’re less desperate you think more clearly and act more calmly
: you muster up gratitude (and gratitude is a form of empowerment)
: you might realize that you’re further along than you’ve been giving yourself credit for (hello confidence!)

ANSWER THE BURNING QUESTION: What do you want… that you already have?
1) Answer on your own blog — or on Facebook by checking “post to Facebook” in the comment box below.
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These hot thinkers blogged about The Burning Question:
How To Visualize Results…really, really, for real.
My entrepreneurial sister and dance floor partner, Marie Forleo and I got gritty about visualization techniques and manifestation — and all the misguided hooey that I think gets in the way of truly powerful inner perceptions.
CLICK THE VIDEO IMAGE BELOW to head over to Marie’s place for the conversation. The comments are off the hook.
. . . . . .
Rave reviews for THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS are rolling in! CLICK HERE FOR A SNAP SHOT.
“There is no way you can read this book and not start taking action.”
- Elizabeth Metz I via Amazon.com
“Just read it. I believe in this book’s power to shift minds and create fires that result in a changed world. For the better.”
- Kristin Offiler I via Amazon.com
“She really gets to the heart of the matter, especially when she talks about fear. What I noticed while reading “Fire Starter Sessions” was how my confidence kept increasing. I also started to get a clearer vision of my future.”
- Rebecca Johnson I via Amazon.com
“…Its message is equally applicable whether you are head of a Fortune 500 company or a housewife. It is, quite simply, a heartfelt battle cry to follow your own unique passion.”
- Sharilyn I via Amazon.com














