Shop here
avatar
avatar
avatar
Go to shop

How to be yourself…when you can’t really be yourself.

“Just be yourself.” Most common self-help sermon ever. I’ve been preaching it for years. Except…being yourself doesn’t always work. Sometimes it’s dangerous. Sometimes it’s not worth the frustration or the futility.

“Maybe I should just have a real conversation with him. Just…be myself.”
“I just want to be all of me, with all of them.”
“There’s so much I can’t say to her.”

Not everyone can hear you, see you, and appreciate you. Bullying twists what you say and uses it as ammunition. Narcissism can’t have a genuine two-way conversation. Strike a nerve and narcissism strikes back to annihilate. Lot’s of “healthy” people are sick with poor judgement and they poison every single interaction.

I want you to blaze brightly in the world. I want you to fly your Soul flag—all your colours, sounds, and sonnets. And… I want you to leverage your light so that you can give more to the world. The surest way to do this is to seek resonance and protect your value.

So I suggest that just once in awhile you make a conscious decision to keep yourself to yourself. Not because you’re scared of showing up, but because you have the clarity to see who’s who. And in some extreme situations (ya, a family reunion might qualify as an “extreme situation”) you put on your cloak of invisibility and just watch the situation unfold.

Being consciously reserved is not the same as being repressed or oppressed.

Intentional self-restraint can be incredibly powerful.
 It’s an ironic form of self-expression…an expression of how wise you truly are.


 

For that friend who is about to stick her neck out…but maybe shouldn’t…press share. xo

Tweet it out:

How to be yourself…when you can’t really be yourself. My newest:

I suggest that just once in awhile you make a conscious decision to keep yourself to yourself.


Click here to Pin or right click to download + share on Instagram.

Photo credit: Catherine Just

avatar

There is nothing passive about “having Faith.” (And how to deal with doubt).

Where there’s faith, there’s doubt. It’s the law of duality. If Faith is Lightness, then doubt is density. Personally, I want more light and less heavy in my life.

I want a Faith that comforts my hunger pains. I want a Faith so protective that it keeps the painful agitation of doubt at bay. Faith like a flashlight on the best decision. A Faith that fuels me to keep doing what needs to be done.

I was raised Catholic. I came of age in the New Age. Both camps of belief gave me an image of Faith that was softly lit and very…flowy. I was to point my Faith outward, to the heavens, to the cosmos, and just breeeathe. And through this genteel esoteric exercise of trust, all would be well—I would be rewarded for my Faith.

Enter doubt—because doubt always enters. And doubt, being the opposite of Faith, is gnarly. She is not fluid, she is seizing. Doubt does not make space for the long view, because panic happens right now, dammit! Doubt doesn’t look up to the Light, because she’s survival-based.

If trust is a garden of paradise, then doubt is the weed. So how do you water your Faith when doubt-creep is inevitable? With a lot of really hard work. Unceasing, daily doubt-whacking. Faith works up a sweat. She is anything but passive.

You don’t plant a garden and just let the elements tend to it. You fertilize it and do everything you can to prevent weeds from choking it.

You can’t just hand your desires over to Life or your God and say, “You got this, right?” and then expect that Life or He/She will also dissolve your doubts while answering your prayers. Yes, release your desires into the care of Universal Intelligence. Yes, yes! But you have to be responsible for your own doubts—because they originated from you. Cleaning up your doubt is part of your Co-Creator’s job description.

When doubt creeps in, don’t just pour on the “I have Faith” affirmations. Confront the doubt and remove it.

Faith is the “work” in “Light work”.
It scrubs and rinses and steadily erases doubt. Faith stays on doubt’s ass: I see you. I dissolve you. I replace you with Faith. And then doubt will pop up again. And Faith is right there: Yep, I heard you. I choose faith. Yep, I know the odds, I choose Faith. And because Faith knows the natural order of things, she says to doubt: You’ll probably be back later this week. And you might even distract me. But I’ll still choose Faith. No anger, just clarity. No complaints, just pure, fiery resolve.

Doubt isn’t a failing, it’s a reminder to feed and protect your positive beliefs.

Faith isn’t something you “have”, as much as it’s something you do. And if you do it consistently—the clearing, the focusing, the nourishing…the getting back on track, then you become the very Lightness you long for.


 

Everyone could use a Faith booster. Press share to the particular friend in need of this particular boost. xo

Tweet it out:

There is nothing passive about “having Faith.” (And how to deal with doubt). My newest
Doubt isn’t a failing, it’s a reminder to feed and protect your positive beliefs. My latest


Click here to Pin or right click to download + share on Instagram.

Photo credit: Catherine Just

avatar

All of my failures can be traced to my silence.

All of my failures can be traced to my silence. Every. single. one.

Getting fired from the company that I co-founded happened because I had gone months without speaking up. Lot of money on the line. Better keep my mouth shut and give this a chance to work.

When I hurt a colleague’s feelings, which was completely avoidable, it was because I didn’t have the courage to speak to them directly. I overpaid for some things because I didn’t want to appear unreasonable, so I just stopped… negotiating. I didn’t want to demotivate people who worked for me/with me so I just… didn’t bring it up. Shit, I have a tattoo that I’d really rather not have because I didn’t talk back to the tattoo guy.

Failed to protect. Failed to love. Failed to lead. Failed to make art. Failed to speak up.

“Failing” and “succeeding” aren’t very poetic terms. 

In-between the labels of “failure” and “success” are all of the painful things that make us so much more beautiful.

But after you lose out (like, on a BIG DREAM) because you kept your mouth shut; or you take a piece of someone’s heart with you because you took the easy (silent) way out, then speaking up starts to seem like less of a heroic act and just way more… practical. “Practical” as in… voicing your truth becomes a life practice.

Truthing isn’t necessarily easier to do, but it brings incredible ease to your life. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The courage, the classy delivery, the compassionate humour, it all becomes more accessible when you’re using your voice everyday.

Your voice is a muscle. You need it to rise to the occasion of your life. That’s why it’s called speaking up.


 

Does someone you love need a little nudge to speak up? Press share. Nudge nudge. xo

Tweet it out:

All of my failures can be traced to my silence. My latest:
Your voice is a muscle. You need it to rise to the occasion of your life. That’s why it’s called speaking up.

 

Click here to Pin or right click to download + share on Instagram.

avatar

Need more? Read, watch, listen.

Need more? Read, watch, listen in...

Get more. Now.
+

Pin It on Pinterest