What is desire?

An evolutionary impulse.

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Dream death and the real reason you're in pain

Dreams that don’t come true need to be grieved. The dream itself needs to be honoured and mourned. It’s not just about dealing with the pain of not getting what you wanted, it’s about going deeper to look closely at what the dream was actually for. For example, it’s the difference between the pain of say, getting fired, and looking at what you were really longing to have happen with that job. This is a subtle concept we often miss in the healing process when something ends. You see, we’re not always sad for the reasons we think we are

We may feel embarrassed that we lost money on a venture, (bummer, but that’s not the root reason you’re sad). Or we may be disgusted that our ex jumped into a relationship without working out their substantially dark shit, (so gross, but that’s not the root reason you’re sad). Or we may be all flustered and pissed off at how management handled laying us off after being such a superstar in the company, (understandable, but that’s not the root reason you’re sad).

We’re sad because the fantasy, the vision, the idealism died — stillborn, sudden, or slow and agonizing, it’s gone and it’s never coming back. That dream we fed by hand, and wrote love letters to. The dream we hung our hopes on for massive, ongoing fulfillment; the one we recruited others to believe in. The dream we talked to every single day and whispered to at night. The dream we dressed up and bought things for. That dream we learned new skills for and gave up weekends and opportunities to focus on. The one we opened our hearts to so widely.

Starting to feel the pain now? That’s the truth in there. All of the “bad things” around the situation ending are just the side bar. It’s not just that you’re lonely, it’s that you longed for union. It’s not just that it’s going to be tough to make rent this month, it’s that you were really hoping to be seen and recognized for your work in the world.

When you can go to the center of the sadness, then the collateral pains are less likely to bring you down.

When you see the real reason for your pain, you have a new vantage point for healing. tweet

And the real reason for our pain is almost always connected to our desire for love, and losing what we pinned our hopes for love on.

 

Are you Future Ready? My most revealing, cosmic, girlfriend interview ever.

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CLICK HERE to watch my interview with Navjit!

 

What do I really think about the “Goddess movement”? (Not a total fan, actually.) And the New Age spin on “being present?” (Bit of a racket, you know). And bringing in The Beloved (all in), and being “Future Ready” (are YOU ready?). Well if anyone can deepen and raise the cosmic conversation, it’s my masterful soul sister, Navjit Kandola. She is lucid as a diamond, fierce as Kali, and just as giggly as any best girlfriend.

How are women creating the future? Like this: @daniellelaporte & @navjitkandola in a cosmic conversation. WATCH. tweet

We go for it in this conversation — soft-hearted and as sharp as we care to be. So please tune in while you’re going about your business and consider how you’re creating your future — our future.

Watch until the end, I do a bit of a transmission on Beauty for you to absorb into your cells. Felt so gooood. Listen HERE.


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Dive into your psyche. 3 personality tests for introspection.

A good personality test can help reveal the innermost workings of your psyche. Anyone who applies for a job with Team D takes these three tests. And, they’re kind of… fun.
 

What makes you feel strong?

StrengthsFinder: Now, Discover Your Strengths, by Marcus Buckingham + Donald O. Clifton

strengthsfinderThere’s a theory that you should overcome your shortcomings and try to compensate for your weaknesses. Well, we’re not having any of that. StrengthsFinder is about honing in on your core strengths and becoming better at what you’re already great at. Foster what comes most naturally to you and play to your aptitudes. I talk a lot about Buckingham’s work in The Fire Starter Sessions.

Take the StrengthsFinder test online and it will net out your top five strengths (it’s a 20-minute quiz). These strengths are one-word declarations. My strengths are: Activator, Futuristic, Intellection, Relator, Strategic… Once you have your top five, you can delve into the companion book for insight on how to use your strengths to your advantage in life and work. It’s also a great tool for knowing the strengths of your partner, family, team members — and helping the people around you to shine brighter.

What’s the shape of your soul?

The Enneagram: Discovering Your Personality Type, Don Richard Riso + Russ Hudson

enneagramThis is a powerfully perceptive system for self-knowledge and understanding others. The Enneagram is nine archetypes of human nature: personalities like The Enthusiast, The Peacemaker, The Achiever. Personally I’m a #4: The Individualist.” Each type views the world through its own lens and relates to people differently.

How do you love to be loved?

Love Languages: The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages-1If two people are speaking different love languages, then loving gestures and romantic cues can be totally missed. The 5 Love Languages identifies the preferences of how we like to be loved: Words of Affirmation (my favourite), Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time (my other favourite), or Physical Touch. Knowing your own and your partner’s love language essentially teaches you how to meet the other person in their sweet spot — where it counts the most for them.

 

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