7 things I know about active letting go. (sure beats waiting.)

Note: “active letting go” is not to be mistaken for “passive letting go”, whereby life rips stuff out of your grip, or you paint yourself into a corner, or things get so heavy they stop you in your tracks and you have to ditch them just to carry on. Active letting go is a little more…pro-active. It’s a practice. It’s awake. It’s somewhat delightful (except for the agony of it.)

7 THINGS I KNOW ABOUT ACTIVE LETTING GO:

  1. There’s always more to let go of. It’s endless and it’s beautiful because it’s endless. Just surrender to the endlessness of it.
  2. Typically, letting go is painful – in varying degrees, from wince to damn near crippling, it’s gonna hurt. Fact.
  3. Hard leads to soft. Imagine ripping off a bandage; dropping an heirloom off at the thrift store and resolving to not go back to get it; kissing him or her that way for the last time and tearing yourself away because you need to grow in the other direction; boarding the plane with a heavy heart… When you steel the nerve to be tough enough to let go, you cross over a sacred line. And on the other side, Tenderness is waiting for you, and She’s very proud and she’s very encouraging.
  4. Baby steps are okay, but you can’t avoid the pain that surfaces when you commit to the letting go. (See, you just can’t get around the pain part.)
  5. From the mundane to the monumental, letting go hurts. Always has, always will. (Yes, a repeat of #2. It bears repeating.)
  6. Acceptance is medicine. When you just accept that the pain of letting go is part of the deal, your let-go wound will heal faster.
  7. When you let go, the odds are in your favour. Out of, say, 123 people I’ve talked to about letting go of all sorts of stuff – material and emotional – 88% of them wished they’d done it sooner, and 97% of them have no regrets whatsoever. Only 3% are still confused.

I’ve let go of a dizzying amount in a relatively short amount of time. In two years: a business, a marriage that ended lovingly but necessarily broke my heart (open), a home filled with things I chose with great intention. A friendship that grew so small it choked any possibility of newness. Bags of gorgeous clothes and jewelery. Boxes of well-loved books, and photos, and legal documents, and other evidence of how smart I thought I was back then. My proud stack of Dwell Magazines. Wedding shoes. Ambitions. My hair stylist.

By nature, I’m not a collector. I am a ruthless, serial shedder. I was joking to a soul sister that If I let go of anything else, I’m not going to have a sofa to sit on, I’ll be wearing flip flops in the winter, and only two people are going to come to my funeral. But I’ve surrendered to the endlessness of it. And it’s a resolution that softens.

For me to shed even more well, I’m getting close to the marrow these days. Thankfully. The marrow is the source of vitality.

Deep deep deep beneath constructs of time, and idealism, and things I “captured” along the way is the freedom that has been pulling me forward my whole life. Always forward.

(And BTW, Why do we need to capture memories? As if they need to be tamed and penned lest they get away. My memories can come and go as they please, they’re much more meaningful that way. This might explain why I have next to no photos in my home. Anyway…)

So I’m still shedding — taking deep breaths and actively letting go. I’m not waiting until I’m ready to let go. I’ve waited long enough. Carried stuff long enough. Longed long enough. For lightness. For that tender place on the other side of courage.

Empty your hands and your heart. Regularly.

Take deep breaths. Often.

And move stuff over and out.

Make space (what a creative act! space-making!)

The space is full of what you really need.

 

 

related posts
Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes1

[LIGHT WORK] An intimate Q&A episode. It’s deep, it’s lite, I hope it’s alllll right.

If God is in the details, then the Soul is in a good Q&A. And that’s the substance of Podcast #4: Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes. Your questions make it so easy for me to rant and offer some (hopefully) useful how-to’s and tricks of the trade. The “trade” being discernment and devotion. It’s deep, it’s lite, I hope it’s alllll right.

Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes-Danielle-LaPorte

[LIGHT WORK] Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes

In a nutshell: I’m hot for hot man feminists who work (in their own way) to make the world a better place. Service is a huge turn on for me.

DanielleLaporte.LightWork.The service of joy, especially in these times

[LIGHT WORK] The service of joy, especially in these times

I’ve talked to rabbis, and priests, and monks, and people who I consider to be high esoteric practitioners. I’ve figured out a few things about joy… and I’ve woven them into this week’s episode of LIGHT WORK.

The-Upside-of-suffering-DanielleLaporte.LightWork.Episode2_EmailHeader.1200x1200

[LIGHT WORK] We can’t get to the light, until we understand the suffering.

I’ve struggled for a long time with wondering if pain and suffering were essential to growth. Are they essential to me being a more expanded, clear minded, loving, joyous, sexy human being? Do I have to hurt to get there? Well, I fucking hope not… but I haven’t figured out a way around suffering yet.

The-Upside-of-suffering-DanielleLaporte.LightWork.Episode2_Instagram.1080x1080

[LIGHT WORK] The upside of suffering… sort of.

You see, there is suffering in the sensitivity. It hurts to feel. And we’re raised to strive—to desensitize—and it’s killing us. I think the strength is in opening. That opening to feel is where resiliency is born.

[LIGHT WORK, Ep. #1] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy5

[LIGHT WORK] The union. The bliss. The bind…Friendship is EVERYthing.

I want to go deep into this conversation about creating Fulfilling Friendships. I’ve got lots to say about engaged listening, self respect, breaking up (when necessary), and celebrating our friend-loves. I’ve also got plenty of opinions and practices for self-compassion, deep spiritual devotion, healthier relationships with our damn phones, and better quality sleep.

Danielle LaPorte Light Work

[LIGHT WORK] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy

I asked about a zillion people what they wanted more of in their lives. The #1 craving, by far: more fulfilling FRIENDSHIPS. We’re connection starved, we know this. Let me give you a peek into my own circle. In this first episode of LIGHT WORK, I use my own friends as how-to examples for creating radical support and sweetness in your life.

Do not doubt the wisdom of your rage

Do not doubt the wisdom of your rage. (inspired by recent events)

Popularity isn’t always true power. Money isn’t always success. Experience does not guarantee wisdom. Question it all. And do not doubt the wisdom of your rage.

GOOD MANNERS and some wuv. We could all use more of them-feature

GOOD MANNERS and some wuv. We could all use more of them.

There are still some basic good manners that should prevail no matter our generation, station, or affiliation. Here’s what it might mean to be classy, kind, and considerate whenever you are able (and we are almost always able).

Danielle-LaPorte-Lightwork-Podcast

I made something new for you. For US.

The LIGHT WORK series will unfold over six episodes. These are girlfriend-style sermons on serving the world while staying sane, cosmic connectedness over tech addiction, self compassion and more fulfilling friendships. Poetry. Hilarity. Peeks into the personal.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This