WHITE HOT TRUTH
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It’s not always self-sabotage. It’s just…what it takes.

I was in the worst physical pain of my life, during the biggest week of my career.

I bent over and felt my back pop. I maneuvered to my knees, like a puppet whose strings were being snipped, and crawled to the living room. I stayed there for 72 hours. Flat. I had to commando-crawl to the bathroom. I would wince-yelp when the pain flared, then I’d laugh-cry (because this was hilariously unbelievable). My kid took the day off school to feed me tortilla chips and lemonade.

I was just about to fly to NYC for my sold out book launch party and TV interviews. Timing is everything.

You might be thinking, “she was having an upper limit problem,” a self-sabotage situation. Ya, that crossed my mind. As my acupuncturist (and my chiro, and my osteopath) made ER house calls, and my friends ran over with various awesome drugs, I was sobbing into the carpet, thinking… What.The.Fuck.? Because I’ve met my upper limit before. I would get sick before a speaking gig or recording session. I didn’t feel 100% worthy of expanding, so I manifested things to hold me back.

But this felt very different. I knew it. In my spine. I was doubt-free about my capacities and my worthiness. I was expanded. I’d done the work. I was not subconsciously blocking my success. Instead, I was having to very consciously fight for it.

Lightwork can be a fight. If you think being on the “spiritual” side of progress guarantees you harmony, then either you haven’t been at it long enough or you’ve been playing it safe. Harmonizing, healing, serving, shining…it’s messy work. Beautiful. Worth it. But messy.

If you’re working for the Light you’re going to face some darkness — a resistance that’s beyond you.

If you believe that everything is energy, then be prepared for equal and opposite reactions to your expansion.

If you understand that we’re living in a multi-dimensional universe, then know you might contend with other forces, policies, narrow-mindedness. And there will be friction.

Friction creates turbulence. Which creates focused strength…for lift off.

Challenges on the cusp of your success aren’t always “self-sabotage”. Sometimes it’s a cosmic call to arms, an opportunity to prove your devotion. An initiation that can come in the form of back attacks, derailed plans, shocking political upsets.

Getting tackled by the other team doesn’t necessarily mean you’re weak or that you made a wrong move. It means you’re in the game, not the sidelines. If you’re playing full on, you’re going to take some hits. Take it like the light warrior that you are. Rely on your team. And get back up and run farther, even faster.

Back to me wailing on the living room floor: I cancelled my TV interviews and I vowed that, if I had to, I’d get on stage in a wheelchair. I figured that the incident was part of the hazards of my job, and not mental weakness this time. And I renewed my commitment to unstoppability.

On Sunday I took an ambulance to the ER. It took a village, but by Thursday I was in heels, in NYC, doing my one-woman show. I had even more light to give by the time I got there. Because light gets brighter in the darkness.


 

Let your fellow light workers in the midst of some challenges know…it’s just the way it goes sometimes. Keep going. Press send. xo

Tweet it out:

Friction creates turbulence. Which creates focused strength…for lift off.

If you’re working for the Light you’re going to face some darkness — a resistance that’s beyond you.

Click here to Pin or right click to download + share on Instagram.

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Are you tired? Or just really (justifiably) angry?

Toast is comforting. So I decided to make some toast. I woke up in a rough state. Feeling disappointed about a few things that were taken out of my control (not that they were in my control to begin with.) I was feeling distinctly disgusted by the glamour of the industry I’m in. I was racked with concern about the planet’s food and plastic production (it’s getting hard to tell the difference between plastic and food.) I was thinking about some newly-proposed, ridiculously restrictive adoption policies in some US states (puh-leeze…we have a planetary overpopulation issue, and millions of good people who would love to adopt.) I was also pissed off about Facebook’s ever-changing algorithms and the politics of clicks that promotes noise… and directly correlates to my business’ bottom line.

As I was buttering my gluten free toast and grumbling, I went to this default thought-form: I’m soooo fucking tired.

But that didn’t feel true this time. I did a quick psych n’ life inventory: I sleep great. I’m really healthy. I eat clean. I’m grateful for pretty much EVERYTHING in my life. I make what I want to make, how I want to make it; I say what I have to say, when I want to say it — and I feel powerful because of that. My life is full of true friends and my house is full of flowers.

And then came the revelation:
I wasn’t tired.
I was angry.
And I was angry for all the right reasons.

Of course there are times — perhaps entire years, when we are bone-baked exhausted. But being fed up is not the same as being fatigued. In the seasons when we are vivacious and brimming with life, we can’t let ourselves slip into the reflex of heaviness.

“I’m tired” can be a false story that keeps us from our power for change.

I’m pissed off on a regular basis. I think that’s an appropriate response to the times we’re living in.

If you’re tired, be tired. Rest. You’ll get back to rising when you can. But…

If you’re all kinds of radiant, and you’re simultaneously enraged at the state of affairs — then mix that energy and drink up. It’s the fuel you need for the work you want to do.


 

Strength in numbers. Forward this to your fellow change agents. xo

Tweet it out:

“I’m tired” can be a false story that keeps us from our power for change.
Being fed up is not the same as being fatigued.


Click here to Pin or right click to download + share on Instagram.

Photo credit: Catherine Just

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A question for your growth (that has nothing to do with quick, easy or “proven.”)

What’s the best way to find my passion? What’s the quickest way to lose weight? What’s the sure way to get unstuck? What’s the #1 reason people don’t succeed?

Well…I don’t know. And neither does anyone else. (Except for…you. You know. But we’ll get to that in a minute.) Nobody else knows the answers for you because they don’t know your karma, your calling, your family of origin story, your Dosha, your deepest delight, your greatest pain, or your longest held desire.

We’ve got to dissolve our obsession with fast fixes, proven results, and enviable expertise.
Of course we want to know how others succeeded. I’m the first one to ask someone, How’d you pull it off? And from what I’ve gathered, their path was rarely a fast track, it was deeply personal, and their expertise came with some very unenviable suffering.

You are a gorgeous complexity.

You have noble preferences, and scars that are sensitive to the touch. You have Soul contracts. Your energy-bodies are encoded with potent formulas, and residues of illusions.  And you are changing — so today’s answer to your question may be too loose or too binding tomorrow.

Your situation deserves some deliberation … some customization.

Here’s the most powerful question (that we too often forget) to ask ourselves when we’re on the hunt for solutions:

But… what suits me?”

That question smashes templates, and clocks, and methodologies that never took you into consideration in the first place. That question is smelling salt in a society that is zombified by consensus, and speed, and manipulated “data”.

But… what suits me?”

Finding the answer to that –– from your health advocacy to relationship pride, how you earn, dress, sing, love, give –– requires courage, the courage to experiment. It’s not as quick as a prescription, or as logical as a sales funnel, or ten commandments. And you may not win at the approval game — but the freedom and the power will suit you just fine.


 

Support your people to ask the question that could change so much. Press forward xo

Tweet it out:

We’ve got to dissolve our obsession with fast fixes, proven results, and enviable expertise.

You are a gorgeous complexity.

Click here to Pin or right click to download + share on Instagram.

Photo credit: Catherine Just

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