What is desire?

An evolutionary impulse.

Desire More

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8 questions to ask yourself before committing to a goal (or a person, or anything for that matter).

Think about something you really want. A desired thing, experience, person or place. A goal.

Hold that longing in your mind and run through these questions:

  1. Does going after this dream make you feel like you’re making progress? Like you’re growing? Like you’re moving forward?
  2. Does this desire make you feel more like yourself?
  3. Do you think you’ll feel freer when you achieve this?
  4. Does going after this goal (not reaching it, but the actual pursuit of it) light you up, even if it means hard work?
  5. Does this opportunity clearly create more opportunities?
  6. Does saying no to things so you can pursue this goal ultimately make you feel lighter?
  7. Do you feel in total integrity?
  8. And the last question, not that this entirely matters, but would your kid or your grandmother or your best friend be proud of you for what you’re going after and how you’re going after it?

If you’re gripped to a certain goal — “do or die goals,” it’s easier to fool yourself about the merits of that goal.

There are goals that expand our truth, and goals that constrict it…  tweet

Look within before you aim without. tweet

 

 

Dream death and the real reason you're in pain

Dreams that don’t come true need to be grieved. The dream itself needs to be honoured and mourned. It’s not just about dealing with the pain of not getting what you wanted, it’s about going deeper to look closely at what the dream was actually for. For example, it’s the difference between the pain of say, getting fired, and looking at what you were really longing to have happen with that job. This is a subtle concept we often miss in the healing process when something ends. You see, we’re not always sad for the reasons we think we are

We may feel embarrassed that we lost money on a venture, (bummer, but that’s not the root reason you’re sad). Or we may be disgusted that our ex jumped into a relationship without working out their substantially dark shit, (so gross, but that’s not the root reason you’re sad). Or we may be all flustered and pissed off at how management handled laying us off after being such a superstar in the company, (understandable, but that’s not the root reason you’re sad).

We’re sad because the fantasy, the vision, the idealism died — stillborn, sudden, or slow and agonizing, it’s gone and it’s never coming back. That dream we fed by hand, and wrote love letters to. The dream we hung our hopes on for massive, ongoing fulfillment; the one we recruited others to believe in. The dream we talked to every single day and whispered to at night. The dream we dressed up and bought things for. That dream we learned new skills for and gave up weekends and opportunities to focus on. The one we opened our hearts to so widely.

Starting to feel the pain now? That’s the truth in there. All of the “bad things” around the situation ending are just the side bar. It’s not just that you’re lonely, it’s that you longed for union. It’s not just that it’s going to be tough to make rent this month, it’s that you were really hoping to be seen and recognized for your work in the world.

When you can go to the center of the sadness, then the collateral pains are less likely to bring you down.

When you see the real reason for your pain, you have a new vantage point for healing. tweet

And the real reason for our pain is almost always connected to our desire for love, and losing what we pinned our hopes for love on.

 

Are you Future Ready? My most revealing, cosmic, girlfriend interview ever.

navjit_urlbottom

CLICK HERE to watch my interview with Navjit!

 

What do I really think about the “Goddess movement”? (Not a total fan, actually.) And the New Age spin on “being present?” (Bit of a racket, you know). And bringing in The Beloved (all in), and being “Future Ready” (are YOU ready?). Well if anyone can deepen and raise the cosmic conversation, it’s my masterful soul sister, Navjit Kandola. She is lucid as a diamond, fierce as Kali, and just as giggly as any best girlfriend.

How are women creating the future? Like this: @daniellelaporte & @navjitkandola in a cosmic conversation. WATCH. tweet

We go for it in this conversation — soft-hearted and as sharp as we care to be. So please tune in while you’re going about your business and consider how you’re creating your future — our future.

Watch until the end, I do a bit of a transmission on Beauty for you to absorb into your cells. Felt so gooood. Listen HERE.


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