What is desire?

An evolutionary impulse.

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Dive into your psyche. 3 personality tests for introspection.

A good personality test can help reveal the innermost workings of your psyche. Anyone who applies for a job with Team D takes these three tests. And, they’re kind of… fun.

What makes you feel strong?

StrengthsFinder: Now, Discover Your Strengths, by Marcus Buckingham + Donald O. Clifton

strengthsfinderThere’s a theory that you should overcome your shortcomings and try to compensate for your weaknesses. Well, we’re not having any of that. StrengthsFinder is about honing in on your core strengths and becoming better at what you’re already great at. Foster what comes most naturally to you and play to your aptitudes. I talk a lot about Buckingham’s work in The Fire Starter Sessions.

Take the StrengthsFinder test online and it will net out your top five strengths (it’s a 20-minute quiz). These strengths are one-word declarations. My strengths are: Activator, Futuristic, Intellection, Relator, Strategic… Once you have your top five, you can delve into the companion book for insight on how to use your strengths to your advantage in life and work. It’s also a great tool for knowing the strengths of your partner, family, team members — and helping the people around you to shine brighter.

What’s the shape of your soul?

The Enneagram: Discovering Your Personality Type, Don Richard Riso + Russ Hudson

enneagramThis is a powerfully perceptive system for self-knowledge and understanding others. The Enneagram is nine archetypes of human nature: personalities like The Enthusiast, The Peacemaker, The Achiever. Personally I’m a #4: The Individualist.” Each type views the world through its own lens and relates to people differently.

How do you love to be loved?

Love Languages: The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages-1If two people are speaking different love languages, then loving gestures and romantic cues can be totally missed. The 5 Love Languages identifies the preferences of how we like to be loved: Words of Affirmation (my favourite), Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time (my other favourite), or Physical Touch. Knowing your own and your partner’s love language essentially teaches you how to meet the other person in their sweet spot — where it counts the most for them.


10 positive consequences of NOT improving yourself

10 consequences of NOT improving yourself

Christopher Starbeam and me post home yoga on my Affirmat.

  1. When you get off of your own case, you tend to ease up on everyone else around you. Which makes you way more fun to be around. Way more. Only good can come of that.
  2. You will probably be more accepting of the way people are. And by “accepting” I don’t mean that you stay in unhealthy relationships with narcissists (insane), or that you hire people purely for their potential (risky), or that you join the committee just to be a good sport (ugh). By “accept” I mean that you stop expending energy trying to change other people, which means that you will have so much more energy for LIVING your life. This calls for an “OMG!” There, I said it. OMG.
  3. You will get to flush at least half of your vitamin supplements because you remember that your body knows.
  4. Think of all that extra time you’ll have with less therapy. Less therapy = more playing, which turns out to be very therapeutic. And you’ll save on parking.
  5. You will do much less explaining and defending of yourself (which is usually crazy making anyway). Who cares what they think?! You are going to:
  6. Dare to under-achieve in the over-pleasing department. tweet
  7. As my friend Terri Cole puts it, you will stop saying yes when you mean no. How cool is THAT?! Very, very cool. Like, unleash your consciousness kind of cool.
  8. Constant self-improvement has numerous associated costs. With all the money you’ll save on workshops on how to have more joy in your life, you could afford a holiday that would be incredibly joyful.
  9. You will have significantly, substantially, epically less guilt – which drives so much self-improvement neuroses. And less guilt means your digestion will improve — and happiness really stems from good digestion. Even monks and motivational speakers know that. And positive consequence #10 of not improving yourself…
  10.   You’ll have time to help others improve their lives. Which might be the best self-improvement methodology, ever.


choosing feral

That tired beautiful animal in me needed to die,
but not like a sacrificial offering.
There was nothing forced about it.
Death is necessarily aggressive
to leverage you from one dimension to the next,
but the gods made no demands.
Instead, they waited at the crossing
with garlands and rare oils
to anoint her fur.

She limped to the altar,
an affliction from that time she fell in the trap,
and she said to her creature friends
I’m ready now, but I need you to lift me up

and up and up
they did lift her
into the realm of Spirit Animals and Devas
where she could give her life to
every animal that dared to be
irrevocably feral.

I sounded it out for you. Listen below or click HERE to download to your devices.


the desire map book club

the biggest book club ever. join a book club or lead your own.

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The Fire Starter Sessions

define success on your own terms

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Your Big Beautiful Book Plan

a digital program for people who want to get their word into the world — where it belongs.

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reporting from the revolution: a weekly newsletter for living your desires

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