“Open, gentle heart. Big fucking fence.” The advice I give on Love that took the longest time to learn.

So much of what I learned from New Age-ness was a spiritualized flavour of love that had more to do with looking evolved than actually deepening one’s relationship to Love itself (which is to say deepening one’s relationship to one’s VERY SELF — because you ARE Love).

So on the crusade to spirituality (and it was a crusade) “being loving” meant: letting everyone in the door (We’re all one, after all); ignoring the mismatch between people’s words and their actions (You’re creating your reality, just change your thought forms and the people around you will behave differently); and generally taking more shit than anyone should (We all have issues…).

While I professed to suffer no fools, I was, you know, suffering some serious fools. And in all my efforts to love more more more for change change change, it actually never occurred to me to protect my most precious and powerful asset: My loving heart… Me. I thought that protection equated to closed. (It doesn’t. Stay with me here.)

Closing my heart would be certain soul death. Not an option. Shutting my heart half-way would be like shallow breathing for eternity, and I’m here to breathe life in fully wholly holy. So semi-openness was not an option either. So maybe…maybe there was something to this concept of… hmmm… protectiondiscernment…righteous honouring of my soul.

This was a long coming revelation that had me eating fire and offering my bleeding, mighty, devoted heart over to the Goddess. It was the Initiation of All Initiations to realize that Love (me…I) required protection in order to go beyond existing and to thrive.

This divine dichotomy saved my life:

Protect your heart so that you can keep it wide open.

My son is ten years old and totally soul-licious and steady-minded. Other than keeping him away from stupid drugs and predators, my number one mission with him: Keep his heart open and expressive. If I can help him remain tender and actually cultivate more tenderness, he can live fiercely. Here’s what I tell him, regularly, like a favourite old story you love to tell, that loves to be heard:

“Keep your heart open, as wide open as you possibly can. Keep it so soft. Let it be tender. FEEL EVERYTHING. Feel your feelings, share your feelings. Keep your heart gentle, gentle, open, open.

And then… put a big fucking fence around it. Make it tall and make it strong. Ask your angels to guard the gate for you at all times. Do not let anybody past your gate unless their own heart is open and gentle. Only let in people who are respectful, kind, interested and loving. Emphasis on respectful, kind, interested and loving.”

“Got it, Pookie?” I say to him.
“Got it!” he confirms. “Mom, can I say what you said, about the fence?”
“You mean the swearing part?” I ask.
“Yeah!”
“Only if you say the “open, gentle” part first. And then don’t repeat this to anyone.”
“Open, gentle heart. Big fucking fence!” Atta boy.
Laughter. Squeezey. High-five.

“You got it, Love.”

 

 

related posts
danielle-laporte-how-you-listen-is-how-you-live-featured-2x

How you listen is how you live. (A poem for being of service.)

You may hear this as an order, an invitation, or as the opportunity of lifetimes.

How you listen is how you live.
Can you hear the women crying?
Can you hear the soil gasping for clean air?
And did you hear that? That’s the sound of a good man asking, How can I serve?

How do you serve?

Danielle-Laporte-Gift-Transaction

So, is this a gift, or a transaction? Because…your entire life is not a business deal.

I’ve been thinking a lot about transactional giving these days. I’ll tweet about you if you tweet about me. They owe me a favour. You listen for five minutes to them so they’ll listen when it’s your turn to talk. Even Stevens. Transactional giving can be a beautiful commerce of support, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that interplay. But if all of our giving is to secure our getting…then, well, it’s gross.

Danielle-Laporte-Love-the-egg-you're in

Love the egg you’re in. (This is not a sermon on patience. But…)

Savour the simplicity of your pre-dreams-come-true time. Love the egg you’re in. Because not too long from now–and right on time, you’ll be spreading your wings and life will never be the same again.

Rock your emptiness

Rock your emptiness

But what if we rocked our emptiness? Felt the perimeter of ourselves. Relished the silence. Made friends with the peace that’s always waiting for us. What if we got off on the discomfort of our emptiness and let it be creative tension?

Whats-Underneath-Wishful-thinking

What’s underneath wishful thinking?

Wishful thinking is tangled up with craving. We want what we want. So we ignore the evidence that we’re very likely not going to get what we want out of a situation. Craving… wishing. Craving… denial. Craving… tolerating. It’s a wishous cycle.

danielle-laporte-manifesto-for-creativity

Don’t worry about being invited back. My Manifesto for Creativity.

Meaningfulness. Reveal myself. Be compassionate. Don’t worry about being invited back. Go there. xo. I jotted this down when I began writing my book. I wanted a manifesto and it had to happen quickly because…I had a book to write.

danielle-laporte-life-is-what-happens-on-the-way-to-the-finish-line-featured-2x-456x456

Life is what happens on the way to the finish line.

If you’re not loving what it feels like between your various life destinations, then get off the ride. Burn the itinerary. Fuck “motivation” and be still long enough to find your inspiration.

Danielle-Laporte-Let-the-Love-in

Let the Love in. Because, “It’s an honour to help you.”

I was in a spiritual tizzy — that’s an esoteric term for 80% emotions-running-wild, and 20% having faith that everything will work out. I can’t remember what it was over (probably divorce papers, or a publishing contract, or buying a house. But it involved documents and beaucoup emotion.)

what-to-do-after-the-breakthrough-danielle-laporte-social-2-2x

What to do after you have a breakthrough. (You’re going to shrink after you expand, so, listen closely.)

Threshold, crossed. You got there. After the grinding, the repetitive strain, the cord-cutting, the screams of release, the bliss of relief — the training paid off. Muscle burn got you across the finish line. Soul fire resurrected you. BREAKTHROUGH.

jerk-final

Why jerks show up in your life.

We attract jerks to burn karma — old agreements to be broken in current time, vows to be rescinded, slates to be wiped clean. We attract jerks for contrast — jerks show us what deception and manipulation feels like. They show us how we DON’T want to feel — which is excellent intel for knowing how we DO want to feel.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This