are you positively addicted?

So here’s my new favourite concept: positive addiction. I just love the sound of it. It’s righteous and honest … a great combo. “I’m hooked, but it’s all good. No, really. I’m addicted, but it is positively healthy.” Like it.

I was talking to a friend today (okay, it was my shrink,) about my almost, no my definitely insatiable need for the entrepreneurial rush. “It’s a total high for me.” I explained. “Going from zero to sixty. I mean, the very definition of velocity makes me horny {distance over time.} I love having an idea when I’m walking the dog late at night and then in about six weeks actually making money from that late night glimmering, or seeing it on paper. And Christ, when I can help other people get a rush on it…it’s pure juicy juice. I need that juice. Want…more…juice.”

“So what’s the problem?” my Jew-Bu shrink asks.

“Well…I’m not sure that kind of boldness is meaningful. Truly meaningful. Like, love and closeness and friendship.” I looked out the window, looking for the answer. Looked at him, ‘cause I’m paying him for answers.

“Positive addiction,” he diagnosed. “It’s a healthy high, it makes you stronger. As long as the craving for it doesn’t take you over, then it’s cool.”

Dr. William Glasser wrote a book about it (in like, 1976), aptly named, Positive Addiction. “A positive addict uses his extra strength to gain more love and more worth, more pleasure, more meaning, more zest from life in general.” Sounds about right to me.

He gives positive addiction these six criteria:

  1. It is something noncompetitive that you choose to do and you can devote an hour (approximately) a day to it. {how about forty hours a week, minimum?}
  2. It is possible for you to do it easily and it doesn’t take a great deal of mental effort to do it well.
  3. You can do it alone or rarely with others but it does not depend upon others to do it. {That rules out sex addiction if any of you were thinking that, but it clearly does not rule out masturbation, just in case you were thinking of that.}
  4. You believe that it has some value (physical, mental, or spiritual) for you. {you betchya…me and the world, baby, the world!}
  5. You believe that if you persist at it you will improve, but this is completely subjective – you need to be the only one who measures that improvement. {Like Churchill said, “Never, never, never give up.”}
  6. The activity must have the quality that you can do it without criticizing yourself. {That rules out consuming chocolate, because I still tend to criticize myself for mass consumption of Skor bars.}

Whether my drive for strategic creativity is a positive addiction or not, the very notion of re-framing it is incredibly liberating. I want what I want because it feels good. And it’s taken me a good part of my adult life to fine tune my circuitry of sensation to be clear about those life-affirming desires – the good, the bad and the positively addictive.

What’s your positive addiction?

Fess up and be proud.

related posts
456x456-Are you hanging by a thread?

Are you hanging by a thread?

It’s hard. It’s wrenching. It’s incredibly painful and it’s difficult to feel lightness. Or to see clearly. Hanging by a thread can be really disorienting. What you’re going through undeniably sucks. It may be hard to believe right now, but not only will it be okay, not only will you get through and over this, you will thrive again…

456x456-in praise of women- magnificent, spacious, fiery witnesses

in praise of women: magnificent, spacious, fiery witnesses

I often hear “women are our own worst enemies” in terms of our culture. I’m tired of that argument. I think everyone is their own worst enemy, and I don’t think it’s about something women have specifically against each other.

Featured @2x 456x456 (17)

[VIDEO] Deep creativity and the jitters. Feel the doubt…and be of service anyway.

There’s a difference between the definition of happiness and the definition of joy. It’s valuable to be aware of this because when things get tough, logic might want you to default to despair, or utter sadness or worse, you might think you have to choose between hardship and joy, or support and separation, or light and dark…

Social 1 @2x

My SuperSoul100 brunch with Oprah (yep!) and support notes for all of you Lightworkers and generally progressive humans…

There’s a difference between the definition of happiness and the definition of joy. It’s valuable to be aware of this because when things get tough, logic might want you to default to despair, or utter sadness or worse, you might think you have to choose between hardship and joy, or support and separation, or light and dark…

Featured @2x 456x456 (16)

The difference between happiness & joy. And why it helps to know.

There’s a difference between the definition of happiness and the definition of joy. It’s valuable to be aware of this because when things get tough, logic might want you to default to despair, or utter sadness or worse, you might think you have to choose between hardship and joy, or support and separation, or light and dark…

Original-Self-Help-July-28-When-You’re-Done-Fighting-For-It

When you’re done fighting for it. The upside of finally giving up.

Do you know the story of the man who was hitting himself over the head with a hammer? “Why do you keep hitting yourself with that hammer?” a shocked passerby asked him. “Because,” the man replied, “it’s going to feel so good when I stop.”

Featured @2x 456x456 (14)

You will be called on to expand. And this is why we practice.

I travelled to Dharamshala, India with six friends to meet with The Dalai Lama. It was cell-altering and heart-expanding. The week before our arrival, there had been a horrible event in which some monks were murdered — most shockingly, by other monks. The story was on everyone’s mind and in our small, private meeting with His Holiness, the first thing we did was offer our condolences. His response captivated me…

Featured @2x 456x456 (12)

You’re going to feel guilty

The guilty feeling associated with desire, with going after what you want, with transforming….you know that feeling? It’s like tar on your mojo. Maybe you were raised in an environment where desire was considered a negative thing. Or your social circle constantly reinforces the message that you shouldn’t dare to bust out. And maybe you frequently feel guilty for wanting what you want — and you know that it’s causing blocks in your life…

Featured @2x 456x456 (11)

Love your sadness. It won’t last.

I was feeling it. Pure sadness — the inescapability of it plowing through the softest part of me. When you’re in that kind of painful place you’ll try to climb the walls to get away from it. You want it over with. “Love your sadness. It won’t last long.” A friend texted me late at night. I caught it just as I was turning off my bedroom light….

Featured @2x 456x456 (10)

refuse to worry (and how to be more useful for your friends)

Every fearful expectation has a big “story” behind it. The trauma, the drama, the pain, the plot. Worry feeds on the gruesome details. It replays the potential saga in your head. It validates all the reasons things could go wrong by drudging up the past again and again. Worry is cleverly building a case as to why you should worry…

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This