Bag your boundaries.
They bug me.
And I respect them, of course. Healthy living, family as the priority, no-work weekends, closing time, drama-free zones. All good n’ wise. I have plenty of healthy boundaries myself and they allow me to be sane, loving, and creative.
But the off-the-bat slam down of boundaries = major bug factor. This is what I’ve seen a lot of lately:
- Immediate “This is what it’s like to work with me” outlines, usually written in annoying cool-speak, like: “In order to be more productive, I only check email between 12noon and 3pm EST. Anything you send past 3pm on Friday will be responded to on Mondays — because I’m sure you’re down with the idea that weekends should be totally sacred.” Wow. How… reassuring.
- Absurdly long letters of agreement for relatively small projects. I’ve done mighty big deals on a hand shake. Other than purchase orders with my printer, I do not have contracts with any of my team, vendors, or agents. Could this bite me in the ass? Sure. Has it ever? Nope. Not once in all my entrepreneurial years. Not once.
- Overly verbose auto-responders that send the message that absolutely everything else in the world is more important than that person’s email and you’ll reply when you’re damn well ready. (This may be true and that’s just fine — but you don’t need to take up someone’s time with three paragraphs and give off the vibe that, well, absolutely everything else in the world is more important than that person’s email and you’ll reply when you’re damn well ready.)
You wouldn’t go on a first date and tell Mr/Miss Hot Stuff all the reasons that you’re not willing to put out. It would be a major turn off. You’d, you know, ease into things.
Personally, if I get the boundary throw-down right away from someone, I step away from the project. That kind of gripped energy is bound to show up in the project as resistance in some form or another. People with excessive boundaries will always find something to be resentful about.
You know what’s a major turn on for potential clients and collaborators? This: “I’ll do whatever it takes to makes this awesome.” Hellohhh, beautiful.
You can have a healthy personal life and be an out-fucking-standing professional. You can protect yourself and be open-hearted. Begin with enthusiasm and sheer determination, and you’ll invite in so much goodness that you’ll be able to pick and choose from the opportunities knocking on your door.