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before you bust a move, pick up your psychic telephone

or: how to use your psychic powers on mice and men

I was working for an organization in New Mexico. Our office was an old compound of adobe buildings, off a bumpy side road, by a field. One summer, we were overrun with mice.

We couldn’t do traps. Cruel. Messy. Yuck. The humane traps (Mister Mouse crawls into a plastic house and a door shuts. He waits to be picked up. You then drive Mister Mouse forty nine miles away and set him free.) Not very practical when you’re dealing with an extended family reunion of mice.

So we did what any self-respecting cosmic team would do with a vermin problem: we meditated. Our plan: one fifteen minute meditation as a group at the end of a staff meeting, and anyone who wanted to keep sending out their own thought waves throughout the day, then, yeah! The meditation: “Dear Mice. We love and respect you. And, this is our space. Please leave within the next two weeks. If you choose not to leave within two weeks, we’ll set traps and kill you. Bless.”

I guess mice can tell time, because in two weeks, nary a mouse turd could be found. They va-moused out of our space.

The moral of the story, in three points:

USE YOUR PSYCHIC TELEPHONE. IT’S FREE!

1. Speak with your mind, grasshopper. Engage your inner resources first. Meditate before you activate. We exert so much physical energy and time trying to make things go our way. Memos, conversations, to-do lists and PLANS–all those damn plans. Try using a different channel to get your point across.

Another case in point: I needed to fire a staff member. It’s something everyone would prefer to avoid. So I sent her this psychic text, “This isn’t the right place for you. Find another job, or I’ll fire you in two weeks.” She quit, head held high. I didn’t need to say a word. Mind-email? We’ll never know, but it’s a lot more efficient than handing someone a box of tissue and their last cheque on a Friday.

2. Have a very clear intention. You can’t be all like, sorta kinda, maybe, possibly wishy washy. State your position and send a clear signal.

3. Intend for the highest and best outcome for all, and deeply accept that it is ultimately out of your hands. Speaking psychically to people (and animals) isn’t about manipulating them. That kind of mind screwing will give you much-deserved karmic migraines. The more win-win your wordless intentions are, the more you increase your chances of being heard.

Does this work for wooing men? “Call me by Friday or I’m dating Buddy.” Maybe. Does it work for getting your building superintendent to clean up the lobby? “Mr. Rogers, the foyer needs love so we’ll all feel better. PS, You’re awesome.” It might. Does it work for sending love, and light, and new possibilities in a potentially all-powerful instant? If you believe it, it does.

If you’d like to make a call…
please dial in to your solar plexus.
Speak clearly, kindly, truly.
Operators are standing by.