building trust and other tactical bullshit that you probably don’t need

I was on my way to a speaking gig in Austin, Texas. The taxi driver picked me up from the hotel so naturally he asked me if I was in town for business. “Sure am.” I said. Then he asked what I did. (A question that always makes me sigh heavily inside. I teach people about the importance of having a “cocktail line,” so lest I be a hypocrite, I have a smooth one liner that I can pull out at parties. This is NOT it:)

“I write, and I speak…on stage…n’ stuff.” (Severely LAME intro, my Fire Starter Sessions readers would be aghast.) “You’re taking me to my gig tonight, actually.”

“What do you talk about?” asked Bert.

“About being yourself,” said I, Mademoiselle Motivational Speaker.

Silence. He was doing the math.

“Ain’t it kind of sad that you gotta talk to people about being themselves?” asked Bert, thinking nothing of it. I laughed. Like, slapped my legged and threw back my head laughing. It was just the kind of relief that’s sweet before you’re about to go on stage in heels that will expire in precisely 2 hours.

“Yeah, it’s sad. But if everyone were authentic, I’d be out of a gig, Bert. Some people need what I got. And if not, well I’m always good for a few jokes.”
We laughed, together.


As a professional, I prey pray on the conundrums of the human condition. I get to polish my halo because we’re all such fucked up, curious, perfectly beautiful messes. Cha-ching. I tell people things that are primary to some ears, and YES! revolutionary to other hearts.

As a peddler of stuff that goes into the collective field of consciousness, I’m responsible to wonder: Do you really NEED what I’ve got? I don’t want to load the cultural landfill with useless know-what-ness.

Try this. The next time you walk into a bookstore, or stumble upon a seemingly helpful blog, or lean in to hear a theory from someone supposedly wiser or more trained than you, just ask yourself:


When you ask yourself if you really need what someone is selling (from flip flops to life philosophy,) you start to rattle the trance-inducing phenomena of “popular,” “pretty,” “bestselling,” “certified,” “ordained,” et cetera-rah-blah-blah-blah.

There are books that hit the NYTimes Bestseller list that are about the merits of being nice to people in business. About how, (hold on, this is breakthrough theorizing:) taking an active interest in people can help you build better relationships in the workplace; why asking people about their personal lives before a meeting can make them feel like they’re part of team. (Wow. Is that like, statistically proven?)

Do you really need a blog to tell you how to…be nice?

And now there’s a plethora of material about building trust, as if trust is a precious mineral that only some gifted folk know how to mine.

Do you really need a book to tell you how to…be trust-worthy?
Here, I’ll tell you in one sentence and you can skip all those books: be yourself on a regular basis and don’t tell lies. It’s worked well for a lot of people I know. Renegades.


It’s such a fog-cutting, wake-you-up kind of question. It activates your smarty pants brain chemicals, it safeguards you like a big brother looking after you on the first day of school. “Do I really need this?” saves you cash money. (WalMart might consider this article propaganda.)

So when the blogger or the Buddhist or the Motivational Speaker in heels tells you the answer to your problem, maybe you don’t really need that answer. You have your very own.

Take my word for it.

related posts

The most powerful possible Yes to women

…to the dark, the spacious, the sweet, the jaded, the women who live as certain as light rays,
who renovate broken boardrooms and policies with justified anger and overwhelming Love —
Love of inclusion, of ecology, of bone solid Truth — Love of Love.

We are passionate, in pain and POWERFUL. A follow up to the question I posed to you

We are passionate, in pain and POWERFUL. A follow up to the question I posed to you.

Here are the questions––which I am now asking YOU: What’s the drag in your life? The general pain points. How could I help you with that?

Danielle-Laporte-Manifesto for Conscious Business

Team D’s Manifesto for Conscious Business (C’mon and get it.)

Team D’s Manifesto for Conscious Business. This is the third revision in the course of six years. Every single word is intentional and in order of priority.

3 habits for dissolving envy

3 habits for dissolving envy.

Can you wish the best for those you envy?

What if your jealousy is a sign that you need to get your ass in gear?

Because, what’s wrong with wanting what you want?

Hint: Nothin’…

Danielle LaPorte Love Radiance Meditation

You. Me. Let’s talk Love + Radiance over lunch…

Real talk about Love + Radiance…resistance…humbling revelations…All the light stuff.


Introducing The Love + Radiance Meditation Kit (+ a LIVE class with me).

The meditation is multi-form and more…multifaith. This experience wraps together: prayer, meditation, visualization and mantra “Words of Power.” We produce it in print and audio, with cue cards for DIY. And because the “landscape” of the meditation is so key, we’ve given you a visual “mood board” of photographs to help you see your way into the space.

An open letter to my peoples How can I help

An open letter to my peoples: How can I help?

Here are the questions––which I am now asking YOU: What’s the drag in your life? The general pain points. How could I help you with that?

Addicted to productivity

Addicted to productivity, and the courageous act of…stillness.

Wisdom is so underrated these days, but never mind that. Courage up. Wise people pause. Because they know that when you can be still, you become more real. Deeper. And that’s where the value is.


Can you love the problems that come with your good choices? (Because there will always be problems.)

Can you love the problems inherent in your industry? The challenges that come with the goals you’ve set? The hoops you have to jump through to get what you want the most?

Danielle LaPorte Desire Map Preview Bundle

Right now The Desire Map is FREE for you + your FRIENDS. Because…this is what I have to give.

Clarity-backed action. And LOVE. (I’m giving The Desire Map to you AND your friends.)

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This