building trust and other tactical bullshit that you probably don’t need

I was on my way to a speaking gig in Austin, Texas. The taxi driver picked me up from the hotel so naturally he asked me if I was in town for business. “Sure am.” I said. Then he asked what I did. (A question that always makes me sigh heavily inside. I teach people about the importance of having a “cocktail line,” so lest I be a hypocrite, I have a smooth one liner that I can pull out at parties. This is NOT it:)

“I write, and I speak…on stage…n’ stuff.” (Severely LAME intro, my Fire Starter Sessions readers would be aghast.) “You’re taking me to my gig tonight, actually.”

“What do you talk about?” asked Bert.

“About being yourself,” said I, Mademoiselle Motivational Speaker.

Silence. He was doing the math.

“Ain’t it kind of sad that you gotta talk to people about being themselves?” asked Bert, thinking nothing of it. I laughed. Like, slapped my legged and threw back my head laughing. It was just the kind of relief that’s sweet before you’re about to go on stage in heels that will expire in precisely 2 hours.

“Yeah, it’s sad. But if everyone were authentic, I’d be out of a gig, Bert. Some people need what I got. And if not, well I’m always good for a few jokes.”
We laughed, together.

HAWKING WISDOM, AND BUYING IT

As a professional, I prey pray on the conundrums of the human condition. I get to polish my halo because we’re all such fucked up, curious, perfectly beautiful messes. Cha-ching. I tell people things that are primary to some ears, and YES! revolutionary to other hearts.

As a peddler of stuff that goes into the collective field of consciousness, I’m responsible to wonder: Do you really NEED what I’ve got? I don’t want to load the cultural landfill with useless know-what-ness.

Try this. The next time you walk into a bookstore, or stumble upon a seemingly helpful blog, or lean in to hear a theory from someone supposedly wiser or more trained than you, just ask yourself:

DO I REALLY NEED THIS?

When you ask yourself if you really need what someone is selling (from flip flops to life philosophy,) you start to rattle the trance-inducing phenomena of “popular,” “pretty,” “bestselling,” “certified,” “ordained,” et cetera-rah-blah-blah-blah.

There are books that hit the NYTimes Bestseller list that are about the merits of being nice to people in business. About how, (hold on, this is breakthrough theorizing:) taking an active interest in people can help you build better relationships in the workplace; why asking people about their personal lives before a meeting can make them feel like they’re part of team. (Wow. Is that like, statistically proven?)

Do you really need a blog to tell you how to…be nice?

And now there’s a plethora of material about building trust, as if trust is a precious mineral that only some gifted folk know how to mine.

Do you really need a book to tell you how to…be trust-worthy?
Here, I’ll tell you in one sentence and you can skip all those books: be yourself on a regular basis and don’t tell lies. It’s worked well for a lot of people I know. Renegades.

DO I REALLY NEED THIS?

It’s such a fog-cutting, wake-you-up kind of question. It activates your smarty pants brain chemicals, it safeguards you like a big brother looking after you on the first day of school. “Do I really need this?” saves you cash money. (WalMart might consider this article propaganda.)

So when the blogger or the Buddhist or the Motivational Speaker in heels tells you the answer to your problem, maybe you don’t really need that answer. You have your very own.

Take my word for it.

related posts

ARE YOU READY TO FORGIVE? The complicated, gritty path to grace.

ARE YOU READY TO FORGIVE? The complicated, gritty path to grace. It’s complex. It’s confusing. It’s deeply particular. It’s the through-line of most mystical teachings: Forgiveness.

Deep-Positivity

Why positive thinking might be leading us in the wrong direction.

Deep positivity.
If there could be a slogan for manifestation theory, this would be it:
Energy follows thought. Energy follows thought. Energy follows thought. And by the way…energy follows thought.
Manifestation happens from the mind.
For it to work effectively, you must achieve clarity of desire, root into the depths of positivity, fend off doubts with Faith, and repeat. Every minute of every day, give or take.

Mixing-our-own-medicine

Antidepressants, meditation, the Goddess, and antibiotics. Making up your healing path.

Antidepressants, meditation, the Goddess, and antibiotics. Making up your healing path. There’s a time and place for everything. Knowing the right time and the right place is how you become your own healer.

WhiteHotTruthChapter3

How to be truly wise? Rock your paradoxes.

True wisdom usually holds and transcends opposing points of view. Wisdom knows that there is always an exception to the rule, that there is a time and place, and that a case-by-case approach is divine protocol.

When “sacred” sex goes south. Freeing our bodies…messing with our minds.

Groupthink is difficult to detect in the self-help space because it’s often spun as progressive and undogmatic. It shimmers with a counter-culture glow.

Danielle-LaPorte-The-Lie-Of-Affiliation

THE LIE OF AFFILIATION. Or…why group-think can really suck.

THE LIE OF AFFILIATION. The Lie of Affiliation says, “Groupthink is good think.” We could also call this The Lie of Being Cool. Join me for lunch on Facebook Live tomorrow [12pm PST/ 3pm EST] and we’ll bite into the dynamics of group-think (it can really suck) and I’ll do Q&A!

White-Hot-Truth

I want you to love and trust yourself more intensely.

So White Hot Truth is about questioning our quest. Not so that we can get all debaucherous (tho’ that might be exactly what your spiritual evolution requires at the moment. In which case, go for it.) so we can craft a spirituality for ourselves that feels inspired and liberating — instead of a checklist for getting holistic and moral approval ratings.

One of the truest conversations I’ve had - Danielle LaPorte-Audio.

Lies. Truth. Porn. Friendship. Sickness. Motherhood. And softness. One of the truest conversations I’ve had.

Like most humans, on the deepest level, I crave to be known. This conversation is a knowing — one of the truest recorded conversations that I’ve had. Being with my friend Jono Fisher, The Wakeup Project founder, is just…so…deeply comforting.

A few things I believe-laporte-danielle

I think we’re obsessed with protein, and sunscreen, and sameness. A few things I believe…

I think we’re obsessed with protein, and sunscreen, and sameness. And we forget, more tragically than most can understand, that consuming LIGHT is how we grow — in union, and with distinction.

Danielle-LaPorte-Divine-Feminine

Misunderstanding the “Divine Feminine.” And Masculine. And the love between them.

The “divine” in Divine Feminine is about wholeness. It’s where The Great Father and The Great Mother are unified. And that divinity then expresses itself through a feminine energy vehicle, upholding and emphasizing the key qualities and interests of the feminine.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This