burning questions with jen louden, the comfort queen

“Comfort Queen.” Who doesn’t want to meet the woman who earned that title?

Jen Louden is the author of the Oprah-loved The Woman’s Comfort Book, a coach who describes her typical client as “smart, curious, has a pretty good sense of humor, and doesn’t suffer fools lightly.” (sound familiar?) And one of the innovators of the “virtual retreat.”

I especially love Jennifer via video. When she talks about getting the “renewal I need for my soul…” I want it. When she talks about going from “the grind to the organic flow…” I’m nodding. I believe the twinkle in her eye. I start fantasizing about radical self-care and spa time, spirit-centered creative retreats, and meandering to the beat of my heart and I…feel comforted already.

1. What do you know to be true, unquestionably beyond doubt, certain with every cell of your being, completely, passionately, righteously certain?

That I love the bejuses out of my daughter. That befriending myself is better than kicking myself. That I am never alone. That little in life is fixed. That planning isn’t the same as creating. That depletion is another name for hiding your genius. That creating stuff makes me happy. That it’s not about me. That Bob loves me. That nature restores my faith. That my body is the way in. That yoga heals. That books are a miracle. That women will bring about the change we are hungry for. That life is a hoot. Oh, and expect the Spanish Inquisition and be pleasantly surprised when all goes well.

2. What did you decide to stop doing in order to be the real Jen, instead of the gotta-have-it-all, do-it-all Wonder Woman version so many of us are burning out for?

Anything to do with details – I’m a big idea person and very bad with the details. Tracking things. Spelling. House cleaning. Cooking. Sending birthday cards. Committees – never never ever. I’m trying to learn how to hire someone who can help me hold my business. There is an energetic plus detail letting go that is next for me.

3. What happens when women find their voice?

What doesn’t happen? When I wrote my first book in 1992, The Woman’s Comfort Book, that was my feminist manifesto. True self-care liberates self-trust and trust in something larger than yourself and that creates a chain reaction from “I will keep my paycheck husband thank you very much” to “I don’t have to work at a job I hate. I can go back to school / start my own business.”

Claiming our own lives and our own desires can start to feel hackneyed as in old hat, already done, so basic. When in fact, claiming our voice, our selves, will always be the essential act of growing up. Ignore it or belittle it at your own peril.

4. What was the dumbest thing that you used to believe in?

That if I just sold enough books, I would finally believe I was cool. That there was a “done” to arrive at.

5. What are your creative habits? How do you keep the poetry, wisdom and coin flowing?

  • Create daily. Something!
  • Have someone else capture, polish, put together my big out pourings instead of me. Mornings are sacrosanct. I sleep late (6:45 or 7) in the winter, rise earlier as spring and then our long summers grace us.
  • Meditation before anything or the day is shot. Email after that only when my baby is out of town and I need a love hit. Otherwise, wait for the real world – create first.
  • Multi-tasking is dangerous and must be avoided during creative time.
  • Tend my creative well often with new experiences, quiet time, being and listening.
  • Take retreats!
  • I read a lot.
  • I have to take in new experiences and learning often or I dry up.
  • I make art messes often.
  • I pray to be inspired.
  • I release my judgment of the first draft and dive in deeper.
  • When I find myself comparing myself, I think, “Yeah for her/him!”

6. What book(s) are you always telling people to read?

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
Faith by Sharon Salzberg
Art and Fear by Bayles and Orland
Poetry!

7. I’m going to give you a word. Tell me what the first thing that comes to mind when you read it… Ready? The word is: compassion.

Without compassion for myself, I become a brittle depleted self-absorbed bore who hides in fear.

. . . . . . .
FIND JEN
Twitter: @jenlouden
Facebook
JenniferLouden.com

related posts
Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes1

[LIGHT WORK] An intimate Q&A episode. It’s deep, it’s lite, I hope it’s alllll right.

If God is in the details, then the Soul is in a good Q&A. And that’s the substance of Podcast #4: Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes. Your questions make it so easy for me to rant and offer some (hopefully) useful how-to’s and tricks of the trade. The “trade” being discernment and devotion. It’s deep, it’s lite, I hope it’s alllll right.

Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes-Danielle-LaPorte

[LIGHT WORK] Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes

In a nutshell: I’m hot for hot man feminists who work (in their own way) to make the world a better place. Service is a huge turn on for me.

DanielleLaporte.LightWork.The service of joy, especially in these times

[LIGHT WORK] The service of joy, especially in these times

I’ve talked to rabbis, and priests, and monks, and people who I consider to be high esoteric practitioners. I’ve figured out a few things about joy… and I’ve woven them into this week’s episode of LIGHT WORK.

The-Upside-of-suffering-DanielleLaporte.LightWork.Episode2_EmailHeader.1200x1200

[LIGHT WORK] We can’t get to the light, until we understand the suffering.

I’ve struggled for a long time with wondering if pain and suffering were essential to growth. Are they essential to me being a more expanded, clear minded, loving, joyous, sexy human being? Do I have to hurt to get there? Well, I fucking hope not… but I haven’t figured out a way around suffering yet.

The-Upside-of-suffering-DanielleLaporte.LightWork.Episode2_Instagram.1080x1080

[LIGHT WORK] The upside of suffering… sort of.

You see, there is suffering in the sensitivity. It hurts to feel. And we’re raised to strive—to desensitize—and it’s killing us. I think the strength is in opening. That opening to feel is where resiliency is born.

[LIGHT WORK, Ep. #1] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy5

[LIGHT WORK] The union. The bliss. The bind…Friendship is EVERYthing.

I want to go deep into this conversation about creating Fulfilling Friendships. I’ve got lots to say about engaged listening, self respect, breaking up (when necessary), and celebrating our friend-loves. I’ve also got plenty of opinions and practices for self-compassion, deep spiritual devotion, healthier relationships with our damn phones, and better quality sleep.

Danielle LaPorte Light Work

[LIGHT WORK] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy

I asked about a zillion people what they wanted more of in their lives. The #1 craving, by far: more fulfilling FRIENDSHIPS. We’re connection starved, we know this. Let me give you a peek into my own circle. In this first episode of LIGHT WORK, I use my own friends as how-to examples for creating radical support and sweetness in your life.

Do not doubt the wisdom of your rage

Do not doubt the wisdom of your rage. (inspired by recent events)

Popularity isn’t always true power. Money isn’t always success. Experience does not guarantee wisdom. Question it all. And do not doubt the wisdom of your rage.

GOOD MANNERS and some wuv. We could all use more of them-feature

GOOD MANNERS and some wuv. We could all use more of them.

There are still some basic good manners that should prevail no matter our generation, station, or affiliation. Here’s what it might mean to be classy, kind, and considerate whenever you are able (and we are almost always able).

Danielle-LaPorte-Lightwork-Podcast

I made something new for you. For US.

The LIGHT WORK series will unfold over six episodes. These are girlfriend-style sermons on serving the world while staying sane, cosmic connectedness over tech addiction, self compassion and more fulfilling friendships. Poetry. Hilarity. Peeks into the personal.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This