Do not do shit just to please your parents. In fact, do not pursue anything in order to please someone else. Ever.

“If I believe that I need others’ approval, I’ve already turned my back on myself.”
– Kate Swoboda, YourCourageousLife.com

I spoke at a university event and asked the student organizer what she was going to school for.

“Oh, finance,” she answered.

“So working with numbers really lights you up then?” I said. She didn’t understand the question.

“What do you mean?” she replied.

“I mean, are you stoked about finance? Do you love that world?”

Based on her blank expression, I was afraid of what she was going to say. And sure enough: “Oh, God no. I pretty much hate it. But being an accountant is good money. And my dad wants me to do this. And he’s paying my tuition.” And she just shrugged, as if it all made perfect sense.

I saw two things in her future: A Mercedes. And Prozac.

Listen to me: I’ve had thousands of conversations on variations of fulfillment and success with young adults, and old adults, and adults with arrested development just acting like adults. And I can tell you this with lucid certainty based on massive evidence of regret:

Do NOT do shit just to please your parents. In fact, do not pursue anything in order to just please someone else. Ever.

You will die inside. You will grind to a slow halt and the lethargy of your spirit will weigh down your every damn day. You’ll be sleeping with someone that you don’t totally respect and utterly adore; you’ll have an artless condo full of crap from Costco that you don’t really need; you’ll count the clock until wine time.

And one day you might wake up and think to yourself: Fuck. I did this for them. Where am I?

The excruciating regret of which I speak is an epidemic, of course. We know this. It’s been happening for all of time, and it probably always will. Pleasing. Others. At the cost of our vitality.

So don’t do it. You’ve heard it before, you’ll hear it again. From commencement speeches given by entrepreneurial renegades. From the artists and the mavericks. From the everyday seekers who lifted themselves from regret to living — full on. The people who love you enough to want every kind of liberation for you will tell you this: Don’t do it for me.

And maybe today is the day, and these are the right pixels at the right time to inspire you to choose… your happiness.

I can also tell you this, based on the previously mentioned lucid certainty, based on massive evidence of fulfillment:

When you choose your happiness, you become infinitely more productive, useful, and magnetic to those around you. You enable yourself to truly be of service.

So let me repeat it:

Do not do shit just to please your parents.

In fact, do not pursue anything in order just to please someone else. Ever.

To Freedom. Fight for it if you must.

related posts

Vancouver! Jan 12. Event!

We thought our Vancouver community might like to get in on the conversation. We’ll do a bit of mediation and prayer together, and we’ll all leave slightly more enlightened and open-hearted. Ideally. Hopefully. Highly likely. Who’s in?
LOVE.
Conversation & Contemplation with
Danielle LaPorte & Eoin Finn

Holiday2018.HolidayCards.OptIn

Soulful, with a side of sassy: Free greeting cards & gift tags

I like my holidays to be easy on the over-consumption, big on the real love, with plenty of laughs. In that spirit, we designed these printable greeting cards & gift tags so your holidays can match YOUR spirit. Deep, light, and looking on the bright side. Take your pick, print, trim, and give give give!

2018 Planner Holiday Sale Danielle LaPorte

We’re about to make your inbox way happy!

Every single day, for the next 5 days, we’ll announce a MEGA-offer on a different Planner—the lowest prices ever on everything in this year’s Collection—for gifting glee! We’ll post each announcement on Instagram (@daniellelaporte), and each offer will last for 24 hours.

Thank you for your exquisite suffering

Thank you for your exquisite suffering (How to show gratitude for being saved by someone.)

How can you thank another human for that Holy showing?
Your life is beyond words.
But now that you are stronger, reach deep into the natural order of things
and with your hewn respect
thank them for their own exquisite suffering.

Gifty Vibes

Sweet surprise! White Hot Truth print book is FREE (just pay shipping)

Each offer will only last 24 hours, so make sure to check your email first thing to find out the surprise of the day. First one comes tomorrow—best get your Gifting List ready!

Gifty Vibes

Shh… it’s a surprise! (Great gift alert…)

Each offer will only last 24 hours, so make sure to check your email first thing to find out the surprise of the day. First one comes tomorrow—best get your Gifting List ready!

Holidaze, holy days, and lightening it all up.

Holidaze, holy days, and lightening it all up.

Ah, the holidays. Togetherness, twinkly lights, and… mass overconsumption, obligation, and so many opportunities for distraction. Most of us approach distraction as a time management issue—how we wrangle our to-do lists and goals.

Hey Fire Starter People

I’m in awe of your heart-work.

Dear Coaches, Teachers, Counselors… People who serve. If you’re in the business of Soul-work and service, how do take care of yourself?

Burn your journals. Maybe. Danielle LaPorte

Burn your journals. Maybe. Either way, here’s some inspiration on letting go.

I burned about 20 years of journals. Pages and pages of gut-red poetry and angst; cosmic gorgeousness and tender prayers; lists of wants, boyfriends (a loose term), and favourite perfumes. With every page I fed into the fireplace, I smiled. Thank you. Goodbye. Hellohhh here & now…

Danielle LaPorte How our business gives back

How our business gives back

When I started my own business, I made a decision to be public about our charitable giving. It was a practice I learned from Anita Roddick and the Canadian-based leaders (all women) of The Body Shop. The Body Shop was my first job-job and it baked the concept of a triple bottom line into my happily bleeding heart. The idea of sharing this is to inspire giving through business. I think we’re all gifters at heart. The flow of allowing and aiding is our natural way of being.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This