Drama at the cafe … a tale of self expression.

ACT I

We’re sitting in front of one of the legendary Italian eateries in my neighbourhood, eating our legendary Paninis on a sidewalk table. Next door is a café. An independent, run by two generations of Italians.

A woman with a baby slung across her chest is sitting down drinking her coffee—from, ahem, the international coffee franchise across the street.

As we bite into our sandwiches, we realize that we have ring-side seats to a midway argument. Junior Italian comes out and says, “Listen Lady, you can’t sit here, I already told you.” He’s forceful. My kid looks at me with saucer-sized eyes that say, He’s yelling at a lady with a baby! Her back is straight, her feet are firmly planted next to her wilted grocery bags. “I don’t have to move and you can’t make me.” She replies. She looks over him, like he’s invisible, and defies him with a slow sip of coffee — out of the international coffee retailer’s cup.

Jnr. Italian theatrically removes the chairs from around her, pushes a table away from her. The metal grinds against the cement. I stop eating. This could get bad.

Then Senior Italian comes out. And he yells at her. “You can’ta sita here a- lady. You buy a coffee from here or you a-go.”

“I’ll go when I’m done.” She says. He curses. Goes back into the café. She’s strong when he’s there, but when he walks away, she takes a deep inhale. She’s determined not to crack. My heart is aching for the baby who is acting as an energy shield between the mom and the Italians. I send the baby light.

Another round of arguing ensues. Jnr. Italian comes back out to make a very loud point. She says, “Look, it’s public property and I can sit here.” It’s actually not public property. And they actually do have a right to ask her to leave.

Next come the Community Police. By the time they arrive, she’s done with her coffee and is packing up to go. Moot point.

ACT II

We finish our paninis. My heart rate subsides and I announce, “I’m going in there to say something to that guy.” My kid: “You are?!” Amazed, like I just put on my bullet proof bangles. If I back out now, my kid will think my super powers have weakened. I have to go through with it.

I walk into the café and Senior Italian is sharing an espresso with a customer. He’s one of those silver-haired, tanned, older gentlemen. Handsome. He sees me coming and he seems to sense that I’m not here for a cappuccino.

I’m a bit nervous. My tone is soft, “About what just happened out there with that lady … ” I touch his arm, because I’m like that, always affectionate when it’s okay to be. “Look, she was wrong, and you were right. It’s tacky to bring someone else’s coffee into this establishment.” He nods, solid, proudly in agreement. “But you know, man,” I go on, “you treated her like shit and that was so not cool.”

Amazingly, he’s not defensive. He’s more… curious. Conversational. “I was a-nice to her at first. But she was a-rude.” He points out.

“Who cares if she was rude. She was carrying a new baby — who got caught in the middle of all that, by the way, and she’s probably exhausted. You coulda just let it go, ya know.” I’m still really uncomfortable but I’m in it now.

Raises his eyebrow. “So you think she was a-wrong and I was a-right?” He wants to verify this before he makes his next move.

“Totally. But you could have been The Bigger Guy. Did it feel good to yell at her like that – in front of all of us – because that was really upsetting.”

“No, it felt like shit. I don’t wanna do that to a-nobody.”

Time to crack a joke: “Well you won’t have to do that again because she won’t be coming back here for a coffee!” We laughed together.

We smile. Maybe we’re agreeing to disagree but we’re not fighting. He nods with respect. I nod with respect. The match is over. Curtain closes.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY

You know what gave me the moxie to speak up? The countless other times that I didn’t speak up. When I let someone yell at someone else on the bus. Or witnessed rudeness in a restaurant. I’ll never forget the time I stood by and watched a teacher humiliate a fellow student. All those times when I walked away wishing I had the nerve.

When you speak up as a habit, you start to realize that you don’t need to have a result in mind to step forward. If you make it about winning, you’re less likely to stick your neck out.

It’s not about wrong-making or right-doing, but the space in between that we connect to each other.
Self expression is motive enough to speak out.

Say what your Soul needs to say.

 

related posts
Desire Map Online Video Course

Let’s hold hands — all the way to your Core Desired Feelings. The Desire Map ONLINE VIDEO COURSE is finally real

I got together with Cody App to produce this and it’s beautifully and logically laid out. Every module is accompanied by printable worksheets. You can go through the course on your own, or with a group of friends. You can do it in a weekend, or you can meander with it over a few weeks. Your call.

Meditation Space Danielle LaPorte

My commit-phobia + Meditation. Relate? (and last call…meditation class starts Nov 15.)

With a full I heart, I invite you to join me for THE CREATION SPACE Meditation. 5 call-in sessions for some connection and devotion. I’ll guide you through a different visualization, meditation, mantra, or prayer each morning (and for one evening), in a live phone class.

Creation Space Meditation

Spiritual mutts and quilts of devotion. Can you relate?

Calling all spiritual mutts…registration for my CREATION SPACE Meditation Class is open right now and closes very soon!

Pleasure-is-power

Your pleasure is your power…here’s how to get there, a few hours at a time.

When you’re in your pleasure you think more clearly, you’re more efficient, you’re most certainly more creative, and you’re more loving. Your pleasure states are good for your immune system.

Creation Space Meditation

Call me. Let’s meditate. For the seasoned, the newbies, the devoted, and the meditation-curious.

The Creation Meditation. Here’s the vibe: Emerald green flowing nutrients. Lavish healing. Gracefully forming and effortlessly growing. Luminous.

CONSCIOUS gratitude

CONSCIOUS gratitude (as in SMART gratitude. Rather than the spiritual bypassing kind of gratitude that can actually screw you up).

Gratitude changes your brain chemistry. Proven. Happy brain chemicals mean that you’ve got more clarity and courage. Proven. There are zero downsides to making gratitude part of your wellness practice.

Recommitting to sisterly love@2x 456x456

Recommitting to sisterly love. (Because women wounding other women won’t get us where we need to go.)

Good things come to those who… hold out. Holding out requires a sacred, almost superhuman degree of focus—mystical muther freaking prowess.

Danielle-LaPorte-Stop-Doing-Free-and-clear

Stop Doing. (AKA Detangling, Liberating, and Facing Some Gnarly Terror.) Your next FREE & CLEAR exercise is here.

Enter: THE STOP DOING LIST. Prepare for massive relief. I tend to stay away from big self-help claims, but this is potentially life changing. Or at least sanity-saving. I’m excited for you.

Danielle-LaPorte-Want-To-Change-Free and clear

What needs to change? (And how to look at what sucks in your life without criticizing yourself.)

There’s a layer of psychological refinement that we’re adding to this. You’re going to look at what needs to change WITHOUT laying a guilt or judgement trip on yourself (or anyone else).

Danielle-LaPorte-Free-and-Clear-Letting-Go

Examining our expectations and what it means to deeply let go.

Whether you need to perform major surgery on your commitments, or you need to just blow some shit up and walk away, healthy letting go requires mindfulness. So let’s really feel and think this through to get you free and clear.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This