Eventually, you have to stop blaming your parents.

Eventually, you have to stop blaming your parents.

Nurture nature.

Hard done by, won by.

Inherited, genetic, prophetic, pathetic.

Too big, too little, too flat, too tight.

Domineered, engineered, relegated, antiquated.

Abandoned. Held too tight taking flight.

A shrink friend of mine said the most common pattern he saw in human behavior was that people didn’t start really living until their parents died. That’s a lot of lives only one third lived.

That plague-of-a-condition stymies us from breakthroughs and realizing astoundingly positive possibilities for humankind. It’s that serious.

You don’t need to chop down your family tree — tho’ sometimes liberation needs to be that sweeping, and you must claim your soul over blood to come fully into your life.

But most of us could just stop bitching about what we didn’t get when we were nine years old and how that conditioning is informing our current choices in lovers and bad investments. It may be helpful to keep this in mind most times: They were doing the best they could with what they had, and that’s that. Think of all the therapy money we’d save if we embraced that notion and got on with things.

Some people die never having grown up. They were men on the outside, but boys on the inside, running companies and nations, on a payback mission for what they never got. They were intelligent, hard-working women still seeking approval to go after their girlhood dreams. And they died waiting for the world to love them right.

Ceasing to blame your parents for your current reality doesn’t invalidate the heart brokenness or the tick you have in your psyche as a result. It just sets you free to make entirely different and wildly empowered choices for your life today.

Being a grown up is about the power to choose what you’re responsible for.

And you can choose to be radically responsible for who you are now.

 

 

related posts
Featured @2x 456x456 (7)

the euphoria of admitting when it sucks

I hear this time and again, “If I just hang in longer… Maybe she’ll come up to speed. It might sell in the summer. If I dig deeper, I’ll learn to love Excel.” Fess up – it ain’t workin’. You’re smart to see it. You’re brilliant if you move on…

Featured @2x 456x456

Infidelity, sisterhood, and self-respect either way. #Lemonade and Love.

My feelings about infidelity, monogamy and commitment — and how they’ve evolved over time. How I define Divine Fidelity a la David Deida’s 3 stages of relationships. And my deep respect for Beyonce’s art and every woman’s choice of devotion.

Featured @2x 456x456 (6)

The most powerful possible Yes to women

…to the dark, the spacious, the sweet, the jaded, the women who live as certain as light rays,
who renovate broken boardrooms and policies with justified anger and overwhelming Love —
Love of inclusion, of ecology, of bone solid Truth — Love of Love.

Featured @2x 456x456 (5)

Comparison is a killer. Cut it out.

Bless the people you feel envious of. The rich, skinny, in-love, confident, powerful people. Quicker than you can say “I wish I had that…,” say to yourself, or even better, to them, “Way to go…you look great…I admire you.” With envy out of the way, you’ll have more space for your own greatness to step forward.

^E1CFFDF9D213DCD421AF321F263914146A310A11C12D9DC0D1^pimgpsh_fullsize_distr

You are worthy of your desires

To say no.

To say yes.

To have your deepest needs met.

To be seen.

To be loved for what is seen.

Featured @2x 456x456 (2)

Pressed against a star (a poem for longing to be home.)

You are worth waiting for,
tall beam of Light.
And I will open the door for you like our lives depend on it.

Featured @2x 456x456

Feminism is consciousness. Lessons for my imaginary daughter & women — including Kim Kardashian.

All communication begins with intention. A loving word, or flipping someone the bird. A treatise on feminism, or an ageist tweet out to your peers.

@angie.byrd@2x

Use your wings

You’re cosmic. You are winged with light. And that means you have the power to get where you want to go, to see what’s really going on in a situation, to make excellent decisions.

Featured @2x 456x456 (1)

Walking away, music history, and not trying to heal other people. 9 of the Best Things I Ever Did (Volume 2)

I walked away. I held out. I weathered the craving to compromise. And wow, guys, having heart-centered high standards pays off. Big time. Life meets you where you honour yourself.

Featured @2x 456x456

Recovering from self-help exhaustion? Join the club.

My friend Jess Ortner and I had a great conversation about the downer of always trying to be up. Perfect for her podcast called Adventures in Happiness. This is one of my favourite, truly useful conversations for being on the so-called “Path”.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This