Know this: You are worthy of your desires.
Really wanting what you want gives you the power to get it. The way it manifests might surprise you, like it did for Desire Mapper Courtney Carver. Read on, and prepare to be inspired…
I almost talked myself out of a core desired feeling. All of the signs, soul-searching and my Desire Map practice said “want it” but I was scared. I wanted to feel it, but it felt so big and out of reach. I had all of these pre-conceived ideas of what it took to feel benevolent. I was afraid of wanting it, but we want what we want.
Benevolence was the thing I wanted to feel most, but when I thought of benevolent people, I thought about people who made billions and gave away big checks, sat on boards, and volunteered for big organizations or people who dedicated their lives to a cause. I didn’t know how, but knew that if I could find a way to make a meaningful difference, I’d feel benevolent and all of my other core desired feelings.
I started to brainstorm projects, collaborations, and contributions, but they all got too big and so I didn’t do anything. I almost convinced myself that I didn’t have what it took to feel benevolent, and then I remembered this sentence from The Desire Map:
So I got still, and open, and thought about what being benevolent meant to me. When I really thought about it, benevolence wasn’t about money. Instead it kept coming back to feeding people. So that’s what I did.
I bought a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter, some raspberry jelly, and a package of heart stickers. I made 28 sandwiches, wrapped them up and sealed them with love. Then I drove, cycled and walked around the city, and gave them to hungry people. The action was simple and small, but deeply meaningful.
It was just a sandwich exchanging hands with this 4 sentence conversation.
Are you hungry?
And there it was. I felt benevolent when I fed someone. I felt benevolent when I made someone else feel noticed. I felt benevolent when I connected with people who were ignored most of the day. Benevolence wasn’t about giving money, it was about giving in complete alignment with what I whole heartedly believe; that we all deserve to be fed.
While I still give in other ways, it is in the simple act of handing out sandwiches that I feel most benevolent. 28 heart-stickered sandwiches turned into 38, then 65 and now giving away PB&J sandwiches is a regular part of my routine. I didn’t have to start a non-profit, donate my savings account, or commit to a grand gesture.
Instead of going big, I got small and discovered:
Courtney’s Core Desired Feelings:
Joy. Light. Free. Benevolent.
What’s one small action that creates a big feeling for you? Share in the comments below.