Chaos, panic, and anxiety — ahhh, the three sisters of growth.
I like to think of uncomfortable emotions as turbulence, just like when a plane is taking off, the whole aircraft shakes and trembles in order to take flight. The discomfort is part of the deal. In fact, it’s an unavoidable and essential part of expanding. It’s natural. So shelve the criticism (which is never helpful), and just try to notice the trembling without judgement, and breathe into it.
Søren Kierkegaard, a great Danish poet/philosopher created a powerful visual to teach about the truth of anxiety (I’ll paraphrase from Wikipedia):
A man is standing on a cliff. As he looks over the edge, he experiences a fear of falling, but at the same time, he feels a terrifying impulse to intentionally throw himself over the edge. This is a form of anxiety, and it’s triggered by what Kierkegaard calls our “dizziness of freedom.” The fact that one has the freedom to do something, even the most terrifying of possibilities, triggers anxiety.
To bring this back to your core desired feelings: the potential of fulfilled desires can be downright terrifying. You’re standing on the edge of wanting and satisfaction, and off that cliff is a lot of mystery, newness, adjustment, unfamiliarity and potentially, a kind of pleasure and bliss that could re-wire your whole nervous system.
And if you can’t jump, just take small steps. Little acts of pleasure, daily commitments to generating your core desired feelings.