I can totally relate to this. This has been my story at different junctures of my journey. Deep thanks to Desire Mapper Fernanda Alves for being a superstar on this one.
Three months ago I visited Danielle’s site and that opening video really intrigued and fascinated me. I searched for more and found interesting things including Danielle in a video with Marie Forleo. So I started paying attention to “how I wanted to feel” and even more attention to “how I did not want to feel.”
There was a course I wanted to participate in for some time, but I couldn’t because a laptop was needed. Somehow I found out the registrations were open and there I was again: feeling small, poor and… restricted.
Then something interesting happened here. My mood dramatically changed and I just said “This is not the way I want to feel! I hate to feel restricted! I’m tired of this!”
That moment I decided I was going to buy the laptop, even if I had to pay in 20 installments. I didn’t care. Then I made the enrollment for the class, to make sure I wouldn’t step back, and started to research which store I would buy the laptop from. That night I went to sleep feeling a mix of freedom and concern, my head couldn’t stop thinking about it.
The next day, to my surprise, I found a way to pay the laptop in full. The money I needed was spread in other small things, important but less significant items. Then I realized:
It was just a matter or choice.
But here’s the interesting part:
The laptop arrived but I didn’t feel it was mine yet. I felt like it was borrowed. The kind of feeling you have when you borrow an expensive thing from a friend and you’re extra careful…
A clear result of many years of self-restriction.
Now I’m working on deserving and owning my new toy by customizing it and doing all I can to feel it’s mine. Because it is.
I’m eager to discover what more I can change in my life by simply being aware of the way I want to feel, stop daydreaming/whining and really do something about it. I’m learning to honor my desires, my fears and my breakthroughs.
Fernanda’s Core Desired Feelings:
Star, Expansion, Free Spirit
Connect with Fernanda:
To create your own image like this, head to The Desire Map Graphic Maker.