A big, luscious life comes from small, daily actions. You will uplift yourself and everyone around you by creating regular space to be mindful, reflective, and honest.
Desire Mapper, meditation teacher, and new momma Ashley Jennings Bigay from Southern California shows us how she incorporated Core Desired Feelings into her growing family’s daily life.
ASHLEY JENNINGS BIGAY
Staring down at the that little stick, a big fat YES looking back at me, I was stunned and happy but also empowered and authentic and courageous — three of my Core Desired Feelings. From that moment on my husband and I went through this journey of self and family discovery as our daughter slowly grew within me. We discussed parenting options, argued about nursery decor (He wanted a periodical table mural on the wall, thank God he didn’t go through with it!), and talked about how we wanted her to grow into the woman she was meant to become.
One of the ways we decided on assisting her in this new journey was to create our own version of house rules. Not just rules like do your best or no whining but powerful and life altering ideas, her first set of Core Desired Feelings. Soulful rules … remembrances she can take with her always.
I started us three on this journey when I pulled out The Desire Map off my bookshelf of over one hundred self help and metaphysical books and re-read it. I re-watched watched her videos on how to to embrace what we want to feel, and we began to make a list of what we wanted our daughter to know, to remember during this lifetime. In the end we came up with the following rules and at the bottom her Core Desired Feelings, at least for now:
- Know God & His angels
- Affirm your love
- Pay it forward
- Find joy in any moment
- Embrace change
- Respect & serve
- Remember your manners
- Identify the world’s small wonders
- Acknowledge your blessings
- Be compassionate, adventurous, grounded, abundant, and grateful
My wish is for these words to shape our daughter in her most important growing years. They will be hanging in our home for everyone to see, in our kitchen underneath my Cusco airport find of Archangel postcards, one of my valued possessions. It helps bring us back to the moment, it helps us remember why we are here, and what it is we want to feel and embrace within our lives.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR CDF-INSPIRED HOUSE RULES
My husband and I sat down in bed one night with a pad of paper and a pen just thinking about how we wanted the to world to be. What we most cherished in each other and things we wished we knew before now. We had a list of almost twenty items, some were duplicated but in different variations.
We starred the ones we really like and circled some words we wanted to change. Like the one I had the most issue with: Count Your Blessings. To me this statement seemed off like it was a competition to see how many blessings you had compared to before or the person sitting next to you. What is the special number of blessings one should have? Does having five more than the next person make you more blessed? Higher on the blessing ladder?
So I went over to the Desire Map’s Facebook page and asked for help. Those amazing earth angels helped me pick out Acknowledge Your Blessings. Acknowledging you have multiple blessings, to me, makes more sense. I acknowledge this blessing but its not a tally mark or a number it is my blessing and I am thankful.
Once we got the list down from that initial 20 down to nine, plus the five CDFs, I bought the canvas and my husband pulled out the paints and we went to town. You can paint your own as well, or make it on the computer, print, and frame it, or make a mural over your dining room table, even chalkboard it up on the pantry door. Doesn’t matter as long as you and your family can see your inspiring rules every day.
You don’t need to recite the rules out loud. Just having the present is enough and there will come days when you find yourself saying one of your rules out in public to either a family member or a stranger. Live these rules! Spread the love.
Ashley’s Core Desired Feelings:
Energized, Courageous, Authentic, Empowered, Creative