What are your core desired feelings?
I’m about to go through the desire map process again with my book club, so I have a feeling they might change a bit. Currently they are: spacious + creative + connection + inspired + joy.
What are you doing this week or lately to generate your core desired feelings?
We moved into a new home that feels light, airy and spacious. I started writing a screenplay that has been swirling in my head for a few years now. It feels good to tap into my creative filmmaker mojo again. I’m leading a desire map book club in Los Angeles, which is fostering new connections and a much needed sense of community. I’ve been working with my Spotify tunes playing in the background every single day. It’s super inspiring (and good for the body) to get up and bust a move in between working. I’ve also started bringing more flowers into our home. Flowers make me so happy. Being surrounded by beauty is a must!
What lightbulb went off for you when you started to look at how your feelings related to how you did your life/work?
I felt a huge sense of relief when I realized that I didn’t have to continue to do things the way everyone else does them. The idea that I can create my life and my livelihood to reflect how I want to feel is liberating. I was so attached to the idea that striving and grinding away everyday is how you get what you want. It never occurred to me that the journey is just as important as destination. I felt so empowered when I realized that I get to choose to have those feelings every day of my life. I alone hold the keys to my own fulfillment and joy.
When you got clear on your CDFs were there any goals that you were chasing that fell to the way side? Did new or different goals/intentions emerge?
I had a long time dream of being a filmmaker (like since I was about six years old). I somehow got on the track of being a film producer, which is essentially like a project manager in many ways. I was in charge of the productions, when really what I had always wanted was to tell my own stories. I lost my way and spent many years being a facilitator for everyone else’s stories EXCEPT for my own. Getting clear on my CDFs helped me to see where I’d veered off course and helped me get back on track again. It also allowed me to see that my entire identity was wrapped up in being a filmmaker. It felt suffocating. By releasing that grip I had on my dream, I’ve been able to start outlining my script and have no doubt that it will get made, if it’s meant to get made. I’m not attached to the dream, but I believe in the dream 110%.
What tunes are revving up your core desired feelings these days?
I love this question! Music is everything. Anything by Amel Larrieux, Haim, Florence & The Machine, Daft Punk and Wild Nothing.
What’s a goal that you’re focusing on this year?
I’m focused on finishing the first draft of my script, spreading the word about The Birthday Month Experience (my digital e-course baby) and putting together my first live events in LA and NYC.
What’s not working that you want to change?
I’ve got a really, really loud inner gremlin. He’s a total buzz kill and I get sucked into his stories more often than I’d like to admit. I’d like to be more present to life in general, but especially to this inner dark side o’ mine. I’m tired of it running the show and I’m focused on finding ways to hear him out and then politely asking him to take a back seat. :)
What are you feeling really grateful for?
Friendships. Especially my girlfriends. They have repeatedly saved me over the last two years when I was going through a particularly dark time in my life. I’m also grateful for loss. It sounds a bit strange, but I’m grateful for the losses I’ve experienced recently. It’s enabled me to find a deep well of strength that I never knew I had before.