Here’s a three-step inner kung-fu move for managing, and potentially transforming, a circumstance you’re loathing.
– 1 –
Find something to truly love about about your crap situation. Not “kinda like,” or “somewhat” appreciate, but things that are really really great. If it’s as meaningless as, “I like the view from my office window,” then go with that. Or something uber practical: “I like that I get automatic deposits with my pay checks and never have to drive to the bank,” — that’ll do. Love that you like that one co-worker. Appreciate free parking. Start with one thing and then make a list.
Does appreciating as much as you can mean that you’re going to positive-self talk your way into staying in that crap situation? No way. You may still need to bail. But the flow of appreciation will help to clear your mind and strengthen your resolve to do what needs to be done, making the journey more pleasurable in the meantime.
(And hey — the gratitude could actually turn the situation around in rather miraculous ways. It’s been known to happen.)
– 2 –
Call upon your core desired feelings before you go to work or enter into a less than desirable scenario. Do it incessantly, like a mantra. Hold on to your CDFs like a life line. Repeat them before you walk in the door. And then, find one small way a day to generate one core desired feeling. Write that desire/action in your day planner or send it as a message to yourself. Make sure it happens.
– 3 –
Consciously claim the positive actions you’re already taking. For example, you’re in the lame job and you’re in the habit of calling your girlfriend on your lunch break every day for some sane and soulful connection. Keep doing that, but honour it more, like so: “One of my core desired feelings is Connection, so I’m calling my girl for a tap in.” How else are you tending to your heart?
When things are dismal around you, it’s useful to see how you are already taking care of yourself.
This helps to shake off any victim mentality and get you more firmly rooted in your capacity to take care of your soul business and other matters. And from that place, you can strengthen your resolve to do what needs to be done.
Questions for your Desire Map quest? Share them HERE.