Find your tribe. Love them hard. (And, is your tribe a healthy one?)


Find your tribe. Love them hard.

Lot’s of talk about tribe, right? I’m in. I love my tribe and I love them HARD. But let’s break down definitions of tribe. Because we’re all looking for it. HARD.

It’s been said that “we’re the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” Probably true. But there’s a danger in running full steam with this theory. I’ve met more than a few aspiring entrepreneurs and young bucks at parties who are trying to coordinate their world around FIVE AWESOME PEOPLE to rub up against. That’s called usery and it’s ewww. And then there’r those of us who only hang with our clones, and THAT’s ewww.

If the “average of the five people” theory is true, then I’m really interested in knowing loving people.

Are any of your close friends…

  • Filing or have filed for bankruptcy? Recently. Multi-millionaires?
  • Devoutly religious to something that you are opposed to?
  • 100 pounds heavier or lighter than you?
  • Different political party than you?
  • Depressed?
  • Radically successful?
  • 15 years older or younger than you?
  • And there’s always this magic metric: Got any buddies who are missing teeth? (Children are disqualified.)

I ask because…

Diversity creates healthy tribes. And a healthy tribe gives your life resiliency.

And richness and flavour.

And, if we’re seeking more sameness from the outside, we’ll miss the love on the inside.

And if everything in your life “matches”…boring.

My friends are everything, really. I’ve got “rich” friends, and “broke” friends. And “spiritual” friends. Friends who are “under-motivated”, “over-motivated”, “stylish”, “don’t give a shit”, “self absorbed”, and incredibly “generous.” Why all the “quotes”? Because these are all relative attributes. And because I’m all of those things at different times, to different people. RESONANCE trumps attributes. Love doesn’t care if you’re rich or radical.

Our people do typically look like us, and quack like us, but magic happens when we stay open to the feeling and not form.  

Healthy tribe takes up a lot of space in the center of your heart.

Healthy tribe makes room for neurotic and quirky and weakness and leadership and stunning beauty.

Healthy tribe isn’t about sameness, it’s about resonance.

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