dude, want to know what will please your woman?

Dudes, (or masculine-energy-identified dudettes in pursuit of your own lezzie-ladies,) don’t you wish you had a decoder ring for your woman? An unfailing oracle to help you decipher and make the best possible choices for pleasing your amour? You have it within your reach. You can employ this technique at anytime. Your stealth and secret weapon against the confusion of romance is…your girl’s girlfriend.

Just call your woman’s girlfriend and ask what to do.

I’m struck by how rarely this all too simple tactic is employed. The map to victory is just a text message away. Want to know what would really make your woman happy; what she’d really like for love tokens, what would make you look like a Don Juan of Attentive Love and The Perfect Dispenser of Lusty Lust in your sweetheart’s eyes? Dude, just call her girlfriend and ask. She knows everything you wish you could, if but for the lack of ovaries and energetic propensity.

I guarantee you that your girl’s girls know precisely how you could rock her world. She can tell you if a Vitamix is an aphrodisiac or a deal breaker, if the Rabbit Habit girl toy is going to ignite terror or passion, if she’s always wanted a cowboy to take her away, or she just wants you to fix her damn headlight like you said you would.

If you’re wondering if this holy girlfriend knowledge also applies to what your woman personally wants in the bedroom, why yes, yes it probably does. Girlfriend power is pervasive. It takes a brave man to inquire about such matters, but a faint-hearted knight never won the hand of a fair maiden (I stole that from Russell Brand’s live act, who stole that from a theater teacher, no doubt.)

Just dial the pal. Your woman won’t see it as a weakness, chances are she may already think you’re a bit romantically handicapped. Call her bestie, get the inside scoop and your honey will think you’re hotter than John Hamm, Jack Sparrow, and Alicia Keys all rolled into one. (See below for extended list of hotties.)

A sociological side note to really drive this one home:

Girlfriends know precisely what their girlfriends want from their significant others for two indisputably historically specifies-specific reasons

: we talk to each other–a lot, and we talk about everything–from paraben-free beauty products, to what it means to be properly ravaged, in such great detail that unsuspecting males would blush if they were fortunate enough to overhear what goes down in the average coven call;

: and secondly, Feminines are not only wired to intuit the need’s of those around us, we get a thrill from preempting people’s need. “That coconut water you’ve been wanting to try, yep, I had a case imported from Thailand for you, it’s in the fridge.” “Got you the MP3 of the new Mumford & Sons” “Hey sister, just thinking about you. Call me!”

Now THAT’s romantic.

Make the call. She–we–you will be very glad you did.

Extended list of hotties, as deemed sizzling by…
@savvybees Matt Damon, cause he’s smart, too.

@ealvarezgibson Jason Stratham, Matt Berninger, Nick Cave (obvs.), Gabriel Byrne, Tim Roth, Hugh Jackman, Michael Fassbender

@redneckmommy the ones who are good daddies. Nothing sexier. Also, maybe Colin Farrell. Rawr.

@omshantikate Johnny Depp. Also, Johnny Depp.

@story_house jason schwartzman, johnny depp, adrian brody, howard stern, adam scott

@1MoxieMomma As a straight chick, Katy Perry is HOT.

@StacyWeitzner Jason Momoa. Emphasis on the “Mmmmm”.

@kjkonkin started a Pinterest board dedicated to this very question.

@oddharmonic Henry Rollins. I loved the story in his Shock & Awe tour about not dating women who don’t read books.

@ekovisions Rachel Maddow above all. Drew Barrymore. Kate Moenning. Ellen. Emma Watson with the new doo.

and this list goes on and on

related posts
Desire Map Online Video Course

Let’s hold hands — all the way to your Core Desired Feelings. The Desire Map ONLINE VIDEO COURSE is finally real

I got together with Cody App to produce this and it’s beautifully and logically laid out. Every module is accompanied by printable worksheets. You can go through the course on your own, or with a group of friends. You can do it in a weekend, or you can meander with it over a few weeks. Your call.

Meditation Space Danielle LaPorte

My commit-phobia + Meditation. Relate? (and last call…meditation class starts Nov 15.)

With a full I heart, I invite you to join me for THE CREATION SPACE Meditation. 5 call-in sessions for some connection and devotion. I’ll guide you through a different visualization, meditation, mantra, or prayer each morning (and for one evening), in a live phone class.

Creation Space Meditation

Spiritual mutts and quilts of devotion. Can you relate?

Calling all spiritual mutts…registration for my CREATION SPACE Meditation Class is open right now and closes very soon!

Pleasure-is-power

Your pleasure is your power…here’s how to get there, a few hours at a time.

When you’re in your pleasure you think more clearly, you’re more efficient, you’re most certainly more creative, and you’re more loving. Your pleasure states are good for your immune system.

Creation Space Meditation

Call me. Let’s meditate. For the seasoned, the newbies, the devoted, and the meditation-curious.

The Creation Meditation. Here’s the vibe: Emerald green flowing nutrients. Lavish healing. Gracefully forming and effortlessly growing. Luminous.

CONSCIOUS gratitude

CONSCIOUS gratitude (as in SMART gratitude. Rather than the spiritual bypassing kind of gratitude that can actually screw you up).

Gratitude changes your brain chemistry. Proven. Happy brain chemicals mean that you’ve got more clarity and courage. Proven. There are zero downsides to making gratitude part of your wellness practice.

Recommitting to sisterly love@2x 456x456

Recommitting to sisterly love. (Because women wounding other women won’t get us where we need to go.)

Good things come to those who… hold out. Holding out requires a sacred, almost superhuman degree of focus—mystical muther freaking prowess.

Danielle-LaPorte-Stop-Doing-Free-and-clear

Stop Doing. (AKA Detangling, Liberating, and Facing Some Gnarly Terror.) Your next FREE & CLEAR exercise is here.

Enter: THE STOP DOING LIST. Prepare for massive relief. I tend to stay away from big self-help claims, but this is potentially life changing. Or at least sanity-saving. I’m excited for you.

Danielle-LaPorte-Want-To-Change-Free and clear

What needs to change? (And how to look at what sucks in your life without criticizing yourself.)

There’s a layer of psychological refinement that we’re adding to this. You’re going to look at what needs to change WITHOUT laying a guilt or judgement trip on yourself (or anyone else).

Danielle-LaPorte-Free-and-Clear-Letting-Go

Examining our expectations and what it means to deeply let go.

Whether you need to perform major surgery on your commitments, or you need to just blow some shit up and walk away, healthy letting go requires mindfulness. So let’s really feel and think this through to get you free and clear.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This