We’ve all been hurt. Screwed over. Taken for granted. Unseen.
And once we untangle our hearts and egos from those painful interactions, sometimes we can still manage to send someone positive vibes.
Harm done, but okay. Everyone did their best. Onward. I wish them well. And even though you’d never commune or collaborate with that person ever again, you really mean it.
But how deep does your well wishing run?
Your secret inner dialogue might run something like this:
I hope you’re happy, but not happier than me, because that would seem unfair. I mean, I do a lot of personal work and I took the high road on this one.
I wish you success… but not such huge success that you’d forget how valuable I was to your life/business/project, and how much of a ponce/loser/ingrate you were to me in the end. So be successful, but don’t become so wildly successful that I might actually envy you someday.
Even tho’ you broke my heart, I really hope you find true love—but not more blissed-out than you were with me, and certainly not more ecstatic than what I want to be with my next love.
Of course I want you to be happy. But don’t ever forget how much of a jerk you were to me, because I can forgive you, but if you forgive you than you’d be missing a real opportunity for personal growth. Buster.
How to heal with your well-wishing:
We can take well-wishing further—into transformative love, somewhere in the realm of the seemingly unreachable unconditional love—agape. The love Christ spoke of. The love that liberates.
As if every wish that you extended to them was a certainty because you had the power to make it so.
Wish someone well as if you were their personal angel dispensing inevitable fortunes on them.
Wish someone the very same happinesses, freedoms, and fulfillment that you’re wishing for yourself.
There’s more where that came from.
This kind of loving can be excruciating. You might have to face your own sadness and empty places as you wish for another’s sadness and emptiness to be lifted. You will have to acknowledge your interconnectedness, which is particularly difficult when you are moving on. You will have to face your disappointment head on—and what you see might burn your eyes.
You will have to convert bitter resentment into bestowed blessings—and this is no less than spiritual alchemy.
And baby, you gotta train hard for this kind of loving, because on the other side is where real freedom lives. Where love flows—endlessly.
If you wish.
Send this as a blessing. Press share. xo
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Photo credit: Catherine Just