I couldn't agree more on this point. I know that I can change little habits but to change who I really am is quite a challenge or not really going to happen especially if my other half push me to change.

I realized that sometimes in the past I have always tried to change the people I am with and as time goes by I realize that it's the reason I love them in the first place.

Your blog is officially my guide book! :) xoxo

I agree that this article applies to people who have already matured to the point where they can fully accept responsibility for their own actions and have moral integrity based in some kind of belief/wisdom.

I disagree with this article when one tries to apply it to a stereotypical, rebellious teenager - this is the last thing I'd want someone with a stubborn mentality to read. It seems to me as this would only compound the problem. "I'm me, love me or hate me, and leave me alone - I'm my own person..." etc.

You get the idea. So yes, I agree and disagree. :]

When we look at someone and say, "wow, they've changed"-mostly it's their values that have changed. I believe the only real change we can manifest is in ourselves. Personally, I had to get to a bottom emotionally, depressed and full of guilt. After struggling with alcoholism for years, trying to "suck it up and be a man" I finally realized I was beat. I finally realized "I" couldn't make the change I wanted to make, I couldn't fix myself. So it was either suicide or truly surrender and ask for help. My values changed at that moment. I would do whatever I was told, I would seek a spiritual solution and follow directions from those who had been there before.

Now I wake up each day and "change" my values for what I want from life for that day. Each day my values are trust God, clean house, and help others. I haven't changed, but my values have and therefore my actions. People don't judge me on my intentions but on my actions.

So can I force others to change? No, but I can show them how I did. Attraction rather than promotion. I found someone who had something I wanted--an internal peacefulness and serenity that only comes with true acceptance of oneself--and asked them how. In return, I give it away to others who ask. But I can't give away something I don't have, and I have to give it away to keep it. So I just do the best I can do each day, help others, and "try to be the change I want to see in the world."

On Point #2 - for me the commitment was to live. I got to a point where I really wasn't afraid of dying so much, but of living. I just wanted the pain to stop. The pain of living the same way become greater than the fear of trying something different. And that was enough to commit to something life changing. I simply had to commit long enough to experience the presence of something more powerful than myself. Then to see it manifest in others, the best high there is!

It's really fun to pose this question to others (I asked my hubby after I read this what two or three core themes of his life have been there since he was a boy {we met when we were 19}). A great conversation to have with ourselves and with those we love. It would be groundbreaking if we could accept our core -- and others'! -- without the judgment or automatic censorship. Not that there aren't some things we do need to improve ... but perhaps look at even tendencies that "the world" or we see as flaws as instead areas that need our compassion. Maybe with a dose of healthy love, those "flaws" wouldn't need as much attention and wouldn't cause us as much grief or act out because they would feel that love and know that we embrace them "as is."