Comments on: sorry? only say it if you mean it

By: Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:47:54 +0000

yes yes - so much of what we communicate is often a guise for the true "ouch" underneath.

By: Darci Rowe

Darci Rowe — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 11:48:50 +0000

Asking for or demanding an apology is often used by people who cannot express their own truth internally or to other people. Instead of saying â€œthat hurt meâ€ or â€œthat makes me uncomfortableâ€ they say and we hear (insert indignant GASP) â€œyou owe me an apology, and I wonâ€™t talk to you until I get it!â€ Why the demand? Itâ€™s like asking for someone to send a rose or a dozen roses on Valentineâ€™s Day - something incredible becomes something neutral and blasÃ©. I learned a few years back, the hard way, to interpret a demand for an apology as â€œouch, that hurtâ€. I am more responsible for my actions and communication now. In my opinion, to withhold a demanded apology is self righteous and positioning. Use the demand as an opening to much needed honest and heartfelt communication.

By: When I Grow Up - The Blog » Blog Archive » Freakin’ (Great Links) Friday: Installment 14

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 17:09:34 +0000

[...] Hot Truth had a great series, starting with Sorry? Only Say It If You Mean It followed by How to Apologize. I just went through a personal scuffle where I demanded an apology [...]

By: Uncle Beefy

Uncle Beefy — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:53:13 +0000

Preach it, D.! Ugh! This is something I've been working on for some time. I have SUCH a knee-jerk reaction with this word! I can SO be the one to say "sorry" when I either don't have anything to apologize for (e.g. someone runs into me, but I say "sorry"...????) or, honestly, I don't mean it (if I stopped long enough to ask myself my true intentions). Powerful and thought-provoking for certain! Holla!

By: how to apologize | White Hot Truth: because self-realization rocks.

how to apologize | White Hot Truth: because self-realization rocks. — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 08:08:22 +0000

[...] article, "Sorry? Only Say It If You Mean It," elicited some good thinking and rambling. Like this from White Hot reader, "S", who [...]

By: Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 02:52:06 +0000

beautiful.

By: Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 22:56:44 +0000

how's that for instant gratification?!

By: alligator kate

alligator kate — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 22:11:48 +0000

I love how in Spanish (at least in Spain), if you do something like step on someone's toe, you say, "I feel it!" I find this to be, at least potentially, a more genuinely empathetic response.

By: ocbenji

ocbenji — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:06:26 +0000

I work with people everyday and I just took your advice for the last hour and your right, using the phrase, "I'm sorry" when you don't mean it doesn't help anything. Sure things might feel a little uncomfortable but ultimately I feel more genuine. Thanks!

By: Leftware

Leftware — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 20:12:04 +0000

Well... i sometimes feel bad because of something my wife did... and i feel the need of demand the apology... is it bad? i mean, i agree totally with the post, but seing it since other point of view, there should be another way to send an apology, or to establish this kinda communication