Comments on: unfetter your happiness (you know you want to)

By: Chameli, AwakeningWomen

Chameli, AwakeningWomen — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 16:14:19 +0000

After eight years of marriage I still wake up in awe of the man next to me. I have that orgasmic feeling in my heart when I smell him or even think of him. I am adored beyond my limitations every day by him.Yes, I am happy happy happy for that.
And I am happy for you Danielle, for being you.

By: When I Grow Up – The Blog » Blog Archive » Danielle LaPorte is my Cult Leader

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 00:23:43 +0000

[...] unfetter your happiness (you know you want to) [...]

By: Candra

Candra — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:04:55 +0000

Was just having this same discussion yesterday with a friend. We feel so lucky to have the husbands we have, but its so much more acceptable to complain about them than celebrate them! Why is it more acceptable to have issues than to be blissed out? Love that you called on this truth. Sometimes I feel so lucky that I just tear up about my lucky life. I love that you are calling on us all... to share our bliss... and be unapologetic about it!

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 01:51:41 +0000

I love this. "Happiness is carbonated consciousness" is genius. I think you are hitting on a deeply entrenched human behavior. Somewhere along the line, we are sent the message to pursue happiness but to never gloat or throw our achieved happiness in other people's faces. An interesting thought: what if expressing and articulating happiness is part of happiness itself? That is, what if experiencing happiness actually entails communicating our pleasure and enjoyment with others? If we take this as true then we are in fact dampening our happiness just by virtue of keeping it concealed.

I do wonder if our individual and collective propensity to disguise happiness is rooted in more complicated soil. Sure, we might worry that we are jinxing happiness and good fortune by shouting it from the rooftops. But there might be other factors at play. Perhaps we worry that by broadcasting happiness we are reminding people of their own lack of happiness or despair. Or perhaps we are insatiable creatures and we always want more. So, even when we are truly existentially happy we immediately aim even higher, set our sights on bigger successes and bigger rewards. So as soon as happiness arrives, our portrait of happiness evolves and we wonder whether we are truly happy.

Just curious: do you think there is there a similar virtue in announcing our unhappiness? Or are there compelling reasons for us to keep our despair concealed?

Thanks as always for the thought-provoking post.

By: Briana

Briana — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:09:19 +0000

Oh this is a good one! Brings that whole "let your light shine" idea to mind. Martha Beck has a great article on envy preemption that soooo helped explain part of my own hesitation with acting "too" happy or shiny. It explains that by downplaying our own happiness in order to avoid jealousy, we're kind of making it all about us (exactly what we think we're trying to avoid). Also that it's obviously way more authentic to radiate the happiness, and at the same time reach out connect with whoever you're around, find out what's going on with them, to take all of your own focus off of you. "Happiness is carbonated consciousness" - Brilliant!

By: Chela

Chela — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 22:56:05 +0000

I like this post a lot. I am happy, very happy. I am deeply and richly in love with my husband and some days I think my heart might burst!
I think taking this approach when the opposite is true also brings a lot more intimacy, honesty and texture to life. When I was depressed and people would casually ask how I was doing I would reply 'well, thank you.' Until one day I caught myself and said 'Sorry, that was a total fucking lie. I am depressed and exhausted and so out of touch with myself that I want to crawl out of my skin as we speak.'
It really opened things up, getting real wherever I was at, and not surprisingly, so did the people around me.

By: Red

Red — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:21:29 +0000

I've started just flat out answering folks when they ask the "How are you?" question. I'm tired. I'm excited for project x. I'm super stoked about my new x. I'm having a busy one. etc etc. They are my emotions and well, I'm in a very exciting place right now. I'm no longer afraid to just say that. My career is improving, we're starting a business, house renovations - life is freakin' awesome at the moment.

By: alligator kate

alligator kate — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:05:48 +0000

I have 2 dear friends who have often experienced envy when I have expressed my joy to them. In the past this has distanced me from them when I am in this state because I don't want to cause them pain. Maybe instead of muting my happiness when they are gloomy I can trust that it can be a help to them--- an example of transformation. This feels true in my bones. Thank you.

By: Anon

Anon — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:03:25 +0000

If you're happy and you know it..
Clap your hands
Thunderous applause!

By: leandra

leandra — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:55:08 +0000

Danielle, I think you're right about jinxing it by not expressing it. Yesterday, I had an epiphany about just how ungrateful I've been. Period. In my life, in my relationships, at work, about my body, etc. The list could go on. I was an ingrate.

After realizing that, I realized how much I had to be grateful for. How rich my life really could be with appreciation. All the workings were already there; I just had to express it.

Right now, I feel good. There is a bit of me grieving over my recent loss encountered because of my ingratitude, but happiness is around the corner.

â€œBeing happy doesnâ€™t mean that everything is perfect.
It means youâ€™ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.â€
- Anonymous