Some fame, too much coolness, and the kindness that makes everything okay.

 

I was hanging out with a PFP (Powerful Famous Person). If you’ve been around any PFP’s for a length of time you’ll notice (and yes this is an overgeneralization but, not really), that almost everybody wants something from them. An endorsement, a connection, tickets, a job, a tweet, validation for existing. It’s pretty gross, and completely understandable. (And it takes a good psychologist to help a PFP manage all that. Unless you actually grew up in show business as a PFP your whole life, in which case, therapy can’t touch that.)

So… I’m hanging with PFP. No wait, I need to give you more context. Quick behaviour profile on me in case we haven’t met: I’m an introvert so I almost never insert myself into conversation. I’m quick to laugh, affectionate, and I will always reach for the most encouraging thing to say to someone. I hang out on the edge, but once I’m in, I’m IN. I’ll give you all I’ve got for that fifteen minutes or for fifteen years of friendship. (And of course, what I’ve got to give may vary. But you get the idea. I aim to be present.)

So… I’m hanging with PFP. And I really adore and respect this human. But I decide to play it extra cool with them because if they perceive me to be a sycophant I’d like, die a thousand deaths. But what I really want to do is squeeze them tight and say, “You’re fucking awesome, and I see your soul, and I don’t want a thing from you. Just…hello, beautiful.” But instead, I play it cool. Stay on the edge. Tone it down.

And every time I hang out with PFP + posse (‘cause there’s always a posse) I chose to be, like, cool and unobtrusive and “respectful”. And I start to feel … really uncool. Grey. Not myself. It’s awkward. I can feel my light dimming and that always makes me jittery inside.

You know that moment when you decide to step up to life? When you’re going to turn your “before” into an “after”?…

I couldn’t stand myself anymore. Cool was killing me.

PFP got off stage. I cozied up and put my arm around them. “That was a tough crowd tonight,” I said. “Wealthy, mostly white, and overly comfortable. They did NOT want to get out of their seats. You worked hard out there. You really lifted them UP. It’s incredible to witness. Really powerful.”

Then PFP, all sweaty and awesome says to me, “Man, that means a lot coming from you. They were tough. But we rocked it.”

The grey vanished. Some warm fuzzy light waves were exchanged. I was back.

It probably wouldn’t have mattered if PFP blew me off or thought I was kissing ass.  

What mattered was that I showed up. I let the love go where it usually wants to go: toward someone else who really needs it.

And a side note: It doesn’t matter who you are. Small stage or stadium. Rookie or pro. Mini or mega. At the end of the day, every one of us wants to hear, “Hey…good job out there.”

Just let the love out. It’s always there. Choose kind over cool.

 

 

related posts
Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes1

[LIGHT WORK] An intimate Q&A episode. It’s deep, it’s lite, I hope it’s alllll right.

If God is in the details, then the Soul is in a good Q&A. And that’s the substance of Podcast #4: Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes. Your questions make it so easy for me to rant and offer some (hopefully) useful how-to’s and tricks of the trade. The “trade” being discernment and devotion. It’s deep, it’s lite, I hope it’s alllll right.

Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes-Danielle-LaPorte

[LIGHT WORK] Beliefs, Movies & Man Crushes

In a nutshell: I’m hot for hot man feminists who work (in their own way) to make the world a better place. Service is a huge turn on for me.

DanielleLaporte.LightWork.The service of joy, especially in these times

[LIGHT WORK] The service of joy, especially in these times

I’ve talked to rabbis, and priests, and monks, and people who I consider to be high esoteric practitioners. I’ve figured out a few things about joy… and I’ve woven them into this week’s episode of LIGHT WORK.

The-Upside-of-suffering-DanielleLaporte.LightWork.Episode2_EmailHeader.1200x1200

[LIGHT WORK] We can’t get to the light, until we understand the suffering.

I’ve struggled for a long time with wondering if pain and suffering were essential to growth. Are they essential to me being a more expanded, clear minded, loving, joyous, sexy human being? Do I have to hurt to get there? Well, I fucking hope not… but I haven’t figured out a way around suffering yet.

The-Upside-of-suffering-DanielleLaporte.LightWork.Episode2_Instagram.1080x1080

[LIGHT WORK] The upside of suffering… sort of.

You see, there is suffering in the sensitivity. It hurts to feel. And we’re raised to strive—to desensitize—and it’s killing us. I think the strength is in opening. That opening to feel is where resiliency is born.

[LIGHT WORK, Ep. #1] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy5

[LIGHT WORK] The union. The bliss. The bind…Friendship is EVERYthing.

I want to go deep into this conversation about creating Fulfilling Friendships. I’ve got lots to say about engaged listening, self respect, breaking up (when necessary), and celebrating our friend-loves. I’ve also got plenty of opinions and practices for self-compassion, deep spiritual devotion, healthier relationships with our damn phones, and better quality sleep.

Danielle LaPorte Light Work

[LIGHT WORK] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy

I asked about a zillion people what they wanted more of in their lives. The #1 craving, by far: more fulfilling FRIENDSHIPS. We’re connection starved, we know this. Let me give you a peek into my own circle. In this first episode of LIGHT WORK, I use my own friends as how-to examples for creating radical support and sweetness in your life.

Do not doubt the wisdom of your rage

Do not doubt the wisdom of your rage. (inspired by recent events)

Popularity isn’t always true power. Money isn’t always success. Experience does not guarantee wisdom. Question it all. And do not doubt the wisdom of your rage.

GOOD MANNERS and some wuv. We could all use more of them-feature

GOOD MANNERS and some wuv. We could all use more of them.

There are still some basic good manners that should prevail no matter our generation, station, or affiliation. Here’s what it might mean to be classy, kind, and considerate whenever you are able (and we are almost always able).

Danielle-LaPorte-Lightwork-Podcast

I made something new for you. For US.

The LIGHT WORK series will unfold over six episodes. These are girlfriend-style sermons on serving the world while staying sane, cosmic connectedness over tech addiction, self compassion and more fulfilling friendships. Poetry. Hilarity. Peeks into the personal.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This