Some fame, too much coolness, and the kindness that makes everything okay.

 

I was hanging out with a PFP (Powerful Famous Person). If you’ve been around any PFP’s for a length of time you’ll notice (and yes this is an overgeneralization but, not really), that almost everybody wants something from them. An endorsement, a connection, tickets, a job, a tweet, validation for existing. It’s pretty gross, and completely understandable. (And it takes a good psychologist to help a PFP manage all that. Unless you actually grew up in show business as a PFP your whole life, in which case, therapy can’t touch that.)

So… I’m hanging with PFP. No wait, I need to give you more context. Quick behaviour profile on me in case we haven’t met: I’m an introvert so I almost never insert myself into conversation. I’m quick to laugh, affectionate, and I will always reach for the most encouraging thing to say to someone. I hang out on the edge, but once I’m in, I’m IN. I’ll give you all I’ve got for that fifteen minutes or for fifteen years of friendship. (And of course, what I’ve got to give may vary. But you get the idea. I aim to be present.)

So… I’m hanging with PFP. And I really adore and respect this human. But I decide to play it extra cool with them because if they perceive me to be a sycophant I’d like, die a thousand deaths. But what I really want to do is squeeze them tight and say, “You’re fucking awesome, and I see your soul, and I don’t want a thing from you. Just…hello, beautiful.” But instead, I play it cool. Stay on the edge. Tone it down.

And every time I hang out with PFP + posse (‘cause there’s always a posse) I chose to be, like, cool and unobtrusive and “respectful”. And I start to feel … really uncool. Grey. Not myself. It’s awkward. I can feel my light dimming and that always makes me jittery inside.

You know that moment when you decide to step up to life? When you’re going to turn your “before” into an “after”?…

I couldn’t stand myself anymore. Cool was killing me.

PFP got off stage. I cozied up and put my arm around them. “That was a tough crowd tonight,” I said. “Wealthy, mostly white, and overly comfortable. They did NOT want to get out of their seats. You worked hard out there. You really lifted them UP. It’s incredible to witness. Really powerful.”

Then PFP, all sweaty and awesome says to me, “Man, that means a lot coming from you. They were tough. But we rocked it.”

The grey vanished. Some warm fuzzy light waves were exchanged. I was back.

It probably wouldn’t have mattered if PFP blew me off or thought I was kissing ass.  

What mattered was that I showed up. I let the love go where it usually wants to go: toward someone else who really needs it.

And a side note: It doesn’t matter who you are. Small stage or stadium. Rookie or pro. Mini or mega. At the end of the day, every one of us wants to hear, “Hey…good job out there.”

Just let the love out. It’s always there. Choose kind over cool.

 

 

related posts
Desire Map Online Video Course

Let’s hold hands — all the way to your Core Desired Feelings. The Desire Map ONLINE VIDEO COURSE is finally real

I got together with Cody App to produce this and it’s beautifully and logically laid out. Every module is accompanied by printable worksheets. You can go through the course on your own, or with a group of friends. You can do it in a weekend, or you can meander with it over a few weeks. Your call.

Meditation Space Danielle LaPorte

My commit-phobia + Meditation. Relate? (and last call…meditation class starts Nov 15.)

With a full I heart, I invite you to join me for THE CREATION SPACE Meditation. 5 call-in sessions for some connection and devotion. I’ll guide you through a different visualization, meditation, mantra, or prayer each morning (and for one evening), in a live phone class.

Creation Space Meditation

Spiritual mutts and quilts of devotion. Can you relate?

Calling all spiritual mutts…registration for my CREATION SPACE Meditation Class is open right now and closes very soon!

Pleasure-is-power

Your pleasure is your power…here’s how to get there, a few hours at a time.

When you’re in your pleasure you think more clearly, you’re more efficient, you’re most certainly more creative, and you’re more loving. Your pleasure states are good for your immune system.

Creation Space Meditation

Call me. Let’s meditate. For the seasoned, the newbies, the devoted, and the meditation-curious.

The Creation Meditation. Here’s the vibe: Emerald green flowing nutrients. Lavish healing. Gracefully forming and effortlessly growing. Luminous.

CONSCIOUS gratitude

CONSCIOUS gratitude (as in SMART gratitude. Rather than the spiritual bypassing kind of gratitude that can actually screw you up).

Gratitude changes your brain chemistry. Proven. Happy brain chemicals mean that you’ve got more clarity and courage. Proven. There are zero downsides to making gratitude part of your wellness practice.

Recommitting to sisterly love@2x 456x456

Recommitting to sisterly love. (Because women wounding other women won’t get us where we need to go.)

Good things come to those who… hold out. Holding out requires a sacred, almost superhuman degree of focus—mystical muther freaking prowess.

Danielle-LaPorte-Stop-Doing-Free-and-clear

Stop Doing. (AKA Detangling, Liberating, and Facing Some Gnarly Terror.) Your next FREE & CLEAR exercise is here.

Enter: THE STOP DOING LIST. Prepare for massive relief. I tend to stay away from big self-help claims, but this is potentially life changing. Or at least sanity-saving. I’m excited for you.

Danielle-LaPorte-Want-To-Change-Free and clear

What needs to change? (And how to look at what sucks in your life without criticizing yourself.)

There’s a layer of psychological refinement that we’re adding to this. You’re going to look at what needs to change WITHOUT laying a guilt or judgement trip on yourself (or anyone else).

Danielle-LaPorte-Free-and-Clear-Letting-Go

Examining our expectations and what it means to deeply let go.

Whether you need to perform major surgery on your commitments, or you need to just blow some shit up and walk away, healthy letting go requires mindfulness. So let’s really feel and think this through to get you free and clear.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This