[LIGHT WORK] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy

I asked about a zillion people what they wanted more of in their lives. The #1 craving, by far: more fulfilling FRIENDSHIPS.

We’re connection starved, we know this. Let me give you a peek into my own circle. In this first episode of LIGHT WORK, I use my own friends as how-to examples for creating radical support and sweetness in your life.

Also in this episode: riffs on romantic love. If you want a foundation of friendship with your lover-person, I’ve got some advice: do not fall into being the therapist in the relationship. It comes so easy to a lot of us but… bad idea. Tune in for a few gems on healthy whoa-mance. Listen to LIGHT WORK Episode #1 on iTunesSpotify, or Stitcher.

Other Light bits:

  • Grab your blankey: I spin a campfire story to illustrate the scientific proof that we need each other to shine.
  • Sultry tunes from my friends, DJ Drez and Marti Nikko
  • Some of my spoken word to send you on your way…

All light,
Danielle LaPorte




PS: This is the first podcast of a 6 episode series of LIGHT WORK, leading up to my new year-long program LIGHTER that starts in May 2018.

.  .  .  .  . 

When we give into needing each other
…featured in LIGHT WORK, Episode #1…

I find a delicious comfort in the fact that we need each other. Scientifically speaking, we need each other to shine.

I confirmed this one night on a West Coast island, in the backyard of an astronomy-crazed couple’s home. They told me that they fell in love over their mutual obsession with outer space, and they had this mega telescope to prove it. We had to get on a ladder to look through the lens. It was in a small cabin of its own, had a retractable roof—a masterpiece. For a small donation, island visitors could have a looksy, and on the side they would give you some tea and cookies.

“Check out this star now,” they instructed, adjusting the lens.

“Which one exactly?” I asked. “… Because I see two stars really close together. Two stars over here, and there’s two more hanging out together over there…”

And the couple looked at each other as if to say, “Oh honey, we have a winner.” I felt like a total keener. I thought maybe they would name some constellation after me.

The vast majority of stars are binary—they actually live in pairs. From our distance on earth, it looks like single stars are hanging in the sky. But, through powerful telescopes, you’ll see that it’s very often a duo of stars that are huddled together. Stars require each other’s gravitational pull to coexist. And after hundreds of thousands of years, some stars will pull apart and die without each other.

I knew it, I said, “I knew relationships are where it’s at.” And all of us cozied up—gazing together said, Mm-hmmm…

I wondered about the conversations that stars must have with each other. The constant relating, desperate, unextractable, unified, syncopated, almost eternally comforting. I wondered if one star says, I need more space, does the other star then say, It’s just never enough space for you? Or is it more like a steady belovedness? I got your back. Wouldn’t wanna do this without you. I don’t need you, but I want you…

It was a chilly night. The star-crazed couple gave my son and I a wool blanket to wrap up in. I pulled my boy closer to me. I considered our oneness with each other, oneness with this quirky impassioned couple that we just met, oneness with the deer that showed up in their backyard, oneness with everyone I’ve ever met in all of my lifetimes, and ever will…

We shine brighter when we give in to needing each other. The union. The bliss. The bind. The abandonment scars. The vows. The wows. The spirit. The science. Alone, and all together, at once. All of us. Stars.

Listen to LIGHT WORK, Ep. #1 HERE

.  .  .  .  . 

Spill your desire for Love everywhere
…featured in LIGHT WORK, Episode #1…

Spill your desire for Love
Want deep love from as many sources as possible.
Crave connection,
and then courageously offer your intimacy
wherever you can.

Keep the deepest of your deep part for sacred union,
but beyond the ones that you call The Ones
keep offering the rest of your loving self to everyone. Because
love is infinite, my love.

Make eye contact.
Take note of the strangers who melt you with a glance.
Notice the lovers who have become strangers—
they are craving to melt.

Have those real conversations that comfort everyone deeply.
Worship the jazz that happens when you make things together.
We come alive in Connection.
So pour your desire
to love and be loved
all over your life.

Listen to LIGHT WORK, Ep. #1 HERE.



Pour your desire to love and be loved all over your life. Press share. xo

Tweet it out:

It’s not your job to be the therapist in the relationship.
We shine brighter when we give in to needing each other.


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