Nothing changes without me (a poem for open, terrified hearts)

 

my heart is so open
I can’t tell
if it is a gaping wound
or a portal
for everything
that ever was and ever will be.

I’ve learned to love the beautiful terror of eternity,
and scenario planning how shattered I could be
if the dark things got tall
and if I fell backwards in my forgetting of the Light.

But you can’t fall backwards in Space,
You can only only only ever unfurl.

More than anything,
I’ve wed the certainty that nothing changes without me —
not coal becoming diamonds
not fertilizing eggs
or migration patterns
or medicine dreams.

And what I thought was a net cast to me from a higher God
is actually
strands of truth and filaments of desire
that I have
strung together with my own hands.

In precious encounters,
I tie what I know & want to you,
so we can ride the winds of wonder.

 

 

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