One night stands and other sacred containers not always meant to be breached.

I was in Mexico with a friend, we were drinking margaritas at an outdoor cafe. “A smoke would go good with this tequila,” I said. So I asked the woman at the table next to me if I could bum one. She and her husband had been chain smoking for the past hour, so at that point I was also thinking, If you can’t fight ’em, join ‘em.

“How goes the holiday?” I asked. And, dazed-but-factly, she said, “We had a baby last week, he died mysteriously after birth.” The husband lit another smoke, “We’re here to numb out.” That horrible truth-sharing sealed us. We sat in silence — but not the silence of shock, the silence of unity. The sun was going down.

“What did you name the baby?” I asked. I wanted to make it real, not flinch and create distance with sympathetic formalness like, I’m sorry for your loss. (Tho’ sometimes, I’m sorry for your loss is the most beautifully familiar thing to say.)

She told me what they named him. Without us asking, more poured out. The colour they painted his room. How the hospital nurses cried when he passed over, “Which is surprising because nurses never cry, you know.”

IT SEEMED LIKE THE COMPASSIONATE THING TO DO
We figured out that not only did we all live in the same city, we lived two blocks apart. And I immediately thought, “That’s too close, I know too much now, they are not going to want to run into me at the farmer’s market.” Too close.

And then I did it. To be polite, to be attentive and social…
I gave them my phone number as we parted. It seemed like the compassionate thing to do. But actually, it felt gross. The more conscious act would have been to leave gracefully — let it be the interlude it was meant to be. Instead, I breached the sacred container.

SACRED CONTAINER BREACHING
This kind of over-stepping happens a lot after personal development workshops. People share, and weep, and move in profound ways and naturally, the group bonds in that intimacy. Then the workshop wraps and half of the room wants to be friends for life, and the other half can’t wait to get in their rental cars and peel outta there. And too often — out of social decorum — and the genuine high of connection, somebody says it, “Let’s keep in touch!” Or worse, someone wants to set up a fucking Facebook group so everyone can keep in touch every day forever and ever.

Sometimes, you cry in a stranger’s arms precisely because they are a stranger.
You let your secrets be witnessed because the witnesses are outside of your every day reality.
You get spiritually naked because it’s a moment that’s only ever going to be a moment.
You dance like no one is watching because they won’t see you again.
One night stands — sexual, spiritual, emotional — can serve a divine purpose.

Healing happens in protected space. Sometimes that protection comes from fleeting encounters.

So let it be fleeting — it takes a kind of courage to pass in the night, exchange sorrows and float away. Bless it instead of anchoring it to obligation. Something sacred just happened, allow it to be just that.

 

related posts
Pleasure-is-power

Your pleasure is your power… here’s how to get there, a few hours at a time.

When you’re in your pleasure you think more clearly, you’re more efficient, you’re most certainly more creative, and you’re more loving. Your pleasure states are good for your immune system. Mmmhmm.

The Metta Bhavana Prayer-Danielle-Laporte-1.png

Wishes for our American friends

As our American friends head to the polls today, I wanted to offer this to all of us: Look for Light with more intensity than ever… and vote for it.

Transformational Speaking

Want to be a powerful speaker? Meet the master…

Maybe you’re an introvert with a message. You’ve heard the call to speak, but playing the “extrovert” feels inauthentic. You may already be an active speaker, but your last few gigs or presentations could have used some oomph, that (sometimes) elusive fire.

FreeandClear.2018_Email.Week5.Header

CONSCIOUS gratitude is SMART gratitude—know exactly what you’re grateful for & why.

Conscious gratitude has been one of the most healing and creative practices in my life. It gets me out of my funk EVERY TIME. And it’s the source of a lot of my productivity. Conscious gratitude heals you, it’s generative, and it’s incredibly empowering.

The beautiful terror of going slowly

The beautiful terror of going slower. (I highly recommend it.)

It will not break your spirit, it will break down your addictions. Slower is not robbing you of having your deep desires being fulfilled, it’s helping you to be there—really be there—so you can see them right in front of you.

Danielle LaPorte November Desire Map Planner

Seekers + Conscious Creatives, make this your mantra

We want you to have this November Desire Map Planner. Planning from a heart place can help you choose freedom now + whenever you can, instead of waiting n’ hoping that you’ll feel free “when you get there.”

FreeandClear.2018_Email.Week4.Header

Stop Doing. (AKA detangling, liberating, and facing some gnarly terror.)

In terms of being successful (meaning YOUR definition of personal success), what you stop doing is just as important as what you start doing. Full stop. I know this to be true in my own life, over and over again.

Danielle LaPorte Near Blinding Radiance

When you get through the big pain, this is what happens: Near-blinding radiance.

You will have more to give—and you will LOVE giving it. You will seek to give. It will be the most incredible feeling. Someone is going to come to you with a broken wing, or low on reserves and you are going to have so much love and insight to offer them.

Hey Fire Starter People

Hey, Fire Starter! Is your time management system starving your Soul?

When you’re clear on what activates the joy within you, time management becomes a means to self-expression, not self-policing. And “making time” becomes an act of service so that you can be your best for those around you.

Free and Clear Week 3 Danielle LaPorte

What needs to change? Look at what sucks without criticizing yourself.

You’re going to look at what needs to change WITHOUT laying a guilt trip on yourself (or anyone else). You’re observing, not criticizing. Criticism clouds your clarity, so resist that destructive impulse and simply name what you’d like to change.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This