The real reason that some people are bad for you.

There are endless reasons why someone or some situation might be “bad for you.”

Subtle-but-perpetual criticism, toxic complaining, disconnection, narcissistic energy suckers, sheer boredom…

Take your pick of vibes that you’d rather not be around.

But a key reason that situations can be bad for you isn’t necessarily because of what a person or circumstance does “to you” — it’s how you will have to conform to the situation. The hurt happens when you shrink.

You will have to say less, dull your shine, pull in your power. You will play smaller, act dumber, mince your words.

You will restrain your magnificence — out of fear, or out of logic, or out of the intelligence to survive.

So it’s not about them, it’s about your response to them.

The next opportunity to meet, to work, to dine, to interact, to kiss, to speak, to spend, to serve (no matter how shiny, sexy, lucrative, coveted, necessary, obligatory or useful it may seem), ask yourself this:

Will I have to shrink to make this work?

Or

Is this a place where I can expand?

Check your logic and call on your courage. Your heart’s intelligence will guide you.

Hang out where you can unfurl.

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