I’ve had thousands of conversations with people about desire and this is what I’ve learned from them (and from my own fiercely tender fierce heart): Desire is simple.
You can crave it, distill it, and peel back every kind of wish and most get to this: Everyone desires to love and be loved.
Some of us spill that desire in all directions — we yearn for real love with ourselves, our God, our blood family, our soul family, our lovers, our twin flame, our collaborators, our community, our culture, our galaxy. We want to give love and we want to get love to and from every possible source. We are desire spillers.
Some of us focus our craving on one faction of our life — we really just want our father to acknowledge us; or our dream mate to enter; or to be cherished by our colleagues. The want is very specific and it’s usually quite acute.
There’s no right way to desire. You can go widespread with your desire for love, or you can crave it with great particularity. But I’m going to make an ardent suggestion — based on, you know, my extensive desire data: women crying in my arms after gigs; conversations in bars with perplexed but good men; celebs disclosing their behind-the-fame wants to me; over-achievers getting really real; Buddhist Lamas, Benedictine Monks, and Gurus of Kundalini entertaining my queries…and my own fiercely tender fierce heart.
Here’s what I recommend…
SPILL YOUR DESIRE FOR LOVE EVERYWHERE. Want deep love from as many sources as possible. Crave connection—and courageously offer your intimacy whenever you can. Keep the deepest of your deep heart for sacred union, but beyond the one you call The One, keep offering the rest of your loving self to everyone. Because Love is infinite, my Love. Eye contact. Strangers who make you melt with a glance. Lovers who have become strangers, craving to melt. Real conversations that comfort you deeply. The jazz of making things together. Amazing feats of friendship. Hottest heat. A favour. Met.
Pour your desire to love and be loved all over your life.
Fiercely tender fierce hearts…meeting.