I’m thinking of those people in my life. The sweetest of the sweets who have watered me with their spoken faith. The steadfast, the patient, the idealists who have waited for me without pacing, happily being with the rhythm of growth. The ones who left long voice-mails of buoyant belief. The ones who are so satisfied in their own core that they easily step outside of themselves and into my dreams. Su happiness es mi happiness. The sparklers. The realists. Fanners of flames. The loves of my life.

The first people I will call to celebrate when…

Who will you call when your day comes? When your ship arrives, when you make it, earn it, get what you’ve been wanting so long and so deeply?

Thank them now.
Make them dinner this weekend.
Water them with your faith.
Celebrate arriving at today with them in your orbit.
Blessed.
Say thank you before tomorrow comes.

you told me to dump the chump.

i cut my bangs way too short before a job interview. you told me to wear a low cut blouse to distract from the nasty haircut. i got the job.

you’re happy for me. always.

you remember. everything. you’re the encyclopaedia of…me.

you made the appointment for me. you waited in the car. we drove home in silence.

you make sure my burritos come with an extra side of sour cream, and you order pizzas with mushrooms only on half.

you took me to the coast when i needed it most.***

when i thought the pain would kill me, you reminded me that i wouldn’t die of a broken heart.

you told that bastard to fuck off so that i didn’t have to.

you drove the moving van. in your first trimester. while barfing at truck stops. you never once complained.

you very gently suggested that maybe one pair of shoulder pads was sufficient.

you called in sick for me when really, I was partying on the band’s bus headed for Buffalo.***

you didn’t make me wear taffeta to your wedding.

you lent me $200 bucks that made all the difference between rent and groceries that month. you tucked it into my purse when i wasn’t looking to save me the humiliation.

you held my hand when i got my tattoos, and my wisdom teeth out, and my first really expensive pair of shoes.

you babysat so that i could be with my mother when she was dying.***

you dared me and then said: if you don’t trust you, trust me.***

my baby was two days old. you came over and scrubbed my kitchen floor, made a lemon loaf, and rocked the baby so that i could take a nap, but i didn’t sleep. instead, you and i just stared at the baby on the bed, together.

you bring me trashy magazines and don’t judge me for loving them.

you coax me out of my own brain. make me stop working and have fun. and you have no idea what I do for a living.***

you are how i know god is real. ***

you are my heart honey. my harbor. my metric of faith. my fresh water source. my soul sherpa.

you, girlfriend. you.

. . . . . .

Hey hey…My first ever Hot Line event is happening next Wednesday June 15. CHECK IT OUT HERE.

Substance. Mindfulness. Deep play. Meaning-making.

Patti Digh.

(Insert a very humble bow, a Namaste, my hands folded in respect, and a “Woot! Woot! Patti’s the bomb.” Ommmm Patti.)

1. What is the question that you are currently living?
The question I live every morning is the one that started me on my current journey: What would I be doing today if I only had 37 days to live? It’s a question—and a time frame—that provides immediate perspective to my life. And it’s a tough question some days, because we are filled with “have to’s” and “should’s”. We learn those patterns at such a young age… I’m learning to really understand at a deep level that I am always, ALWAYS, in choice. I may not choose my circumstance, but I certainly choose how I am in that circumstance. That single-handedly eliminates my abdication of personal responsibility—and that, frankly, sucks some days when I’d rather blame things on others.

In this brave new 37days world, “have to” is changed to “choose to,” and “should” is changed to “will.” In this world, “I’ll try to” becomes “I will” or “I won’t” and “I can’t” becomes “I choose not to.”

Living as if you are dying provides immediate, sudden, potent clarity.

2. What makes something poetic?

Everything, EVERYTHING is poetry. Everything is poetic. If you’re alive, you’re a poet. If you’re alive, you’re an artist. Life itself is a creative act. I see poetry everywhere—in the way a waiter hands me my vegan enchilada, in the way the train doors close at the Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport, in the reflected smile of a cab driver in his rear view mirror when I ask about his children whose pictures are so proudly displayed, in the pain we feel when we encounter deep, vast soul-numbing loss.

There’s a wonderful quote from Osho: “When I say be creative, I don’t mean you should all go and become great painters and great poets. I simply mean let your life be a painting, let your life be a poem.”

What makes something poetic is our belief in poetry, of a meaning far beyond the surface of the thing itself, of metaphor, of the dance we dance daily between content and form.

3. What split intentions have you unified?

Oh, honey. How much time do you have?

I’ll start with just one.

As my business partner, David Robinson, taught me from his work as a theater director teaching young actors: “You can’t play two intentions at the same time on stage.” So you can either warn Hamlet or work to get the audience to love you, but you can’t do both at the same time.

My greatest learning about this came in the form of my most recent book. It wasn’t written for publication. I didn’t try to tailor a query to fit what an editor was looking for. I didn’t engage an agent to sell the idea of it. I simply sat down and wrote for my two daughters, completely disengaged from the market, the product. It was the process that mattered: a writer writes.

My single, solitary intention was to leave behind my stories for my two daughters so that when I die—whenever that is—I will be leaving behind an important part of myself for them, something more important than a collection of grapefruit spoons. I felt great urgency about that, because we never know when we will die. I could be on Day 10 of my last 37 right now—and I would never know that.

The greatest gifts of my life emerged from that single intention—in the form of relationships—with my family, with readers around the globe. That work, more than anything else I’ve ever done, speaks to the power of a single intention. I was writing, head down. And I try every single day to get back to that.

4. What piece of advice have you been given that you apply the most frequently?

When our oldest daughter was little, a good friend suggested that we get down on our knees and actually “walk” around the house that way to see it from her eye level. It was an eye-opening journey. In my work as a social justice activist, and also as a writer and speaker, I get on my knees and walk around in someone else’s reality a lot. It’s important to try as much as possible to see what others are seeing, particularly if they are disagreeing with you, particularly if they are belittling or negating you. What drives them? What do they see in the world? What is their vantage point? Their access point? Getting people to where you are is a hell of a lot easier if you give them directions from where they are, and not from where you stand, all sure of yourself.

5. What book(s) are you always telling people to read?

The Time of Our Singing by Richard Powers. The man is, hands-down, a genius. His writing is brilliant, each sentence (each one) a combination of words so beautiful that it makes every writer jealous. He is a gracious, amazing man and this is the best book about race in the U.S. I’ve ever read.

6. I’m going to give you a word. Tell me what the first thing that comes to mind when you read it… Ready? The word is: DIGNITY.

Our dignity as human beings isn’t something defined by who we are in the world as individuals, but it’s defined only in community, by the quality of the engagement between us, by the quality of the space between us, by our ability to navigate those liminal spaces. Until we are ready and able to grant the same level of specificity to others as we grant ourselves, there is no dignity. Until we know that the homeless person in Pack Square and the hungry Haitian displaced from his home, and the refugee from Rwanda, and the white male CEO, and the shamed golf star are as fully complex and human as we are, there is no dignity, there is only privilege and judgment.

7. What do you know to be true, unquestionably beyond doubt, certain with every cell of your being, completely, passionately, righteously certain?

I know that when I am on my deathbed, I will be surrounded not by legions of people all over the world who may have come in contact with me or my work, but by a very small group of what I call my “human survival units.” Knowing who those people are is vital. Knowing that we are made up not of atoms, but of love and stories, is also vital. When we die, what’s left is love in the form of stories. I know that death ends a life, but not a relationship.

……

FIND PATTI

Why 37days?Video
37 Days site
Patti’s site
on Twitter
on Facebook
Recent reading
Recent podcast

For info on Patti’s free teleseminars, sign up for the Circle Project newsletter. I can attest, here teleseminar are truly excellent.

And check out her latest post: How to Write (a book). A Wee Rant. Brill.

“What’s dying to be born?” Lianne said to some of us women over mint tea earlier this year. Kelly. Ronna. Gwen. Lee-Anne. We nodded, quietly, taking it into our hearts. It was a lot to take it.

This question wouldn’t leave Lianne alone. (What question won’t leave you alone?) Until she knew she had to give it it’s own red tent in which to be explored. She sent out a fiery, impassioned request to dozens of global-hearted chickas – among them, Martha Beck, Meg Wheatley, Brene Brown, Patti Digh, Colleen Wainwright – and midwifed a veritable feast of wisdom and art. (NOTE: creating a work of art can be that easy when you don’t hold back.)

Click here to download free copies of What Is Dying to Be Born. It’s generous and intense. Leaders of every kind should read it. And because Lianne Raymond is such a multilingual mystic, it’s full of gorgeous art work.

My contribution to the collective goes something like this (an excerpt):

What is dying to be born?
The beauty of our DNA is dying to be born: an acceptance of the order of chaos; the reverence of High Priestesses in the grocery store; the force of incredibly tender men; the critical necessity of senses that transcend technology.

The genius heart is being born.

NOW THAT DAMN QUESTION WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE
This question has since set up it’s own lounger in corner of my psyche, and it’s been demanding to be fed. When I worked in Washington DC with a team of futurists and freaky braniacs, this question, to varying depths, drove everything we did. Scenarios on AIDS in Africa, water wars, extraterrestrial contact, the evolution of consciousness. The Future In All Its Gore and Glory. Naturally, we were obsessed with it.

But these days I’m much less interested in the future and fancy suppositions as I am about the present. If we can penetrate the present, we can be more pro-creative with what’s next. When we can clearly see the now – as the hologram that it is, we step into to our Godliness.

WHY THIS QUESTION IS SO POWERFUL (IF YOU LET IT BE)
There’s a similar question that I’ve come across with organizational development consultants and high-minded facilitator types: What wants to happen? It’s effectual, for sure. It allows for authenticity to surface. But what’s so freaking brilliant about Lianne’s question is the double entendre of it:

1) What is dying to be BORN – gotta hatch, must happen, on the way, what emphatically desires to be real?

2) What is DYING to be born – crumbling, fading, breaking down, in order that something therefore can be… born?

I’m interested in the dying part today. Because this question comes with a premise, I think: something must die in order to be born. Today, I believe that.

And if this is true, then we’ve got to ask this of our lives: What needs to die?
Fears. Perceived failures. Contracts that bind too tight. Excuses for hatred where compassion is called for. Limited thinking. Antagonism. More fear. Callousness. Lethargy. Cynicism. Greed.

These are big sweeping concepts. We tend to place them “out there” on groups and nations and others. But each of us has some stinky, life-sucking behavior, or paradigm, or dis-ease, that is having it’s way with the best of us – the part of us that always wants to be born. And whatever it is, (and it’s probably ugly) it needs to die so that you can be You. Fully.

Euthanize whatever is holding you back. (Might I suggest that you do it gently, swiftly if you can, ideally with gratitude and free of aggression.) That’s the only way to know what’s dying to be born.

. . . . . . .

POST THE POST

subliminal plug: I’m creating a digital program for entrepreneurs… ommm… I will be launching pre-sales in a few weeks… omm. It’s called THE FIRE STARTER SESSIONS… omm. You need to have it… omm. It will be spectacularly USEFUL… ommm…

Speaking of useful, the GOLD DIGGING EXCURSION to help you “dig up your website’s hidden profit-opportunities”, is almost full. I give it a 4 star + a high 5 recommend. Click here to visit Sarah Bray.

Lora Sasiela is the founder of Financially Smitten. We did a Fire Starter Session last year and I was truly impressed with her knowledge (she’s a psychotherapist by training and trade) and spirit (she’s on a full tilt mission to help women make and manage real money.) When she launched her new site and workshop line up, my immediate reaction was, “yesss!” I smiled big and thought to myself, “She did it right, and she did it sassy.” Read on for a dose of sage advice that you can take to the bank.

1. Cocktail line:
I’m on a mission to put the femme in finance. You know how so many women are scared about money and think that if they don’t deal with it, it will just magically go away or somehow take care of itself? Well, I take them by the hand, and using a proven blend of financial therapy and money coaching am able to support them in creating a conscious and empowered relationship with money. Through this transformative work they are able to kiss their financial heartache goodbye and start rocking their money mojo.

2. Best lesson:
Be careful what you share with whom. I’m by nature a very open and generous person, and one of my life lessons continues to be around setting boundaries and realizing that others are not always coming from a place of integrity. I get so passionate when talking about my business vision and ideas for the future, and need to stay mindful at times to keep my cards closer to my chest….until the time is right for all to be revealed.

3. Smartest money spent:
My Fire Starter session with you. ;-) White, hot, truthfully, I’m all about getting the support I need to build my business and bring my goals to fruition, so investing in coaching, virtual assistants, training, etc. is always #1 on my list.

4. True strength: (makes you feels stronger, vital, alive.)
My deep and intuitive understanding of human behavior cultivated from many years of training and working as a psychotherapist. This way of viewing the world is priceless. To understand the motivations of oneself as well as others adds a type of efficiency to living in this world.

5. Who cares: (why does your tribe listen to your story or want what you’ve got?)
Been there, done that, came through the other side and can now show you the way. This work has been an outcome of my own financial meltdown. I am now so passionate about women not only banishing their fear of money, but also actually showing them how to put out that Welcome Mat, so more money can enter their lives.

6. Say no to: (what do you decline/limit in order to stay in your true strengths and focused on what you do best)
I am a fan of that axiom, “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” and really monitor my feeling state as I spend time with people. If I continue to leave interactions with someone without feeling enriched in some way, it’s time to re-prioritize that connection. Life is too short!

9. Core feelings: (how do you feel when you’re in your zone, doing what you want to do.)
Like I am completely tapped into another source of knowing. I joke at times that it feels like entering the Matrix. It’s like I’m a conduit, that the ‘me’ has disappeared somewhat and I’m sourcing something much greater than myself. Not to get all woo-woo or anything!

10. Biggest blessing or best advice:
My biggest blessing is to have really nailed down my life purpose, and in a way that allows me to value all that has come before as steps along the path, retrospectively.

11. 1 Year Dream: (intend to accomplish this year.)
To continue to grow the Financially Smitten community and develop more services and products to help as many women as possible create a relationship with money most only dream of.

12. Final words: (sales pitch, requests, offerings, words of wisdom…)
Come join the growing community at www.FinanciallySmitten.com by grabbing a free Money Makeover Kit on the site. You’ll get some great tips and tools and be subscribed to my celebrated newsletter, The Flirting with Finance Diaries. Get ready to kiss you financial heartache goodbye!

….

How can the world find you?
Financially Smitten
Twitter
Facebook

My Fire Starter clients are…on fire, of course. From RealEstate, to design, to culture jammers, they’ve got the goods and they’re here to share them.

1. Cocktail line:
I’m a real estate broker and attorney by training, but what I really do is create content that feeds the informational cravings of smart women who want to live prosperous lives, and know that being a smart property owner is one way to do that. My main media for consumers are books, webinars and live events. But I also use those same media to help our corporate clients deliver their marketing messages to women real estate consumers.

For example, I’ve created about 200 articles, tutorials and video webisodes for HGTV’s listing website, FrontDoor.com.

Oh – and I also train real estate professionals who want to attract women homebuyers and -sellers into their businesses.

2. Best lesson: (jumbo mistake, repeated learning – the hard way.)
Gurus are everywhere. I honor the failed relationships – business and personal – in my life because of the lessons I’ve learned.

3. Smartest money spent:
My first home. Law school tuition. Losing a home to foreclosure (the lessons were oh-so-worth it.)

4. Money flushed:
Tara’s definition of tuition: money you paid to learn a lesson. Over-leveraging a home + losing it to foreclosure, though it empowered me to speak to my tribe from a unique hybrid expert + ‘been there, done that’ perspective.

5. Who cares:
Smart women ready to experience ease, joy and prosperity and ready to execute holistic lifestyle design using real estate as one of several tools. Women who crave to understand before they make up their minds. Grown-up (or growing-up) women.

6. Say no to: (what do you decline/limit in order to stay in your true strengths and focused on what you do best)
Cheeseballish or informercial-esque, get-rich style real estate events and folk; anything/anyone that just doesn’t seem right; anything/project outside of my core audiences and core messages.

7. Best advice:
Sh*t or get off the pot. (S)he who has the cash makes the rules. Be careful what you do or say in the press – you might want to run for President someday. (Thanks, Dad.)

8. 1 Year Dream:
* Turn my niche-y corner of the web/world into an active movement of women boldly executing prosperity practices (and taking names).
* Write 1 book (that’ll be #3).
* Pull off 1 web event series, sponsored + 1 train the trainer live event.
* Sell a bunch of certifications.
* Productize, monetize, execute.

9. Final words: (sales pitch, requests, offerings, words of wisdom…)
Remember that rap song, “When I move, you move”? If God rapped, that would be His/Her/Its theme song. Except it would be in reverse: when YOU move, God moves, and then the whole universe moves to manifest what it is that you’re meant to do on this planet. The trick is you don’t know which of your moves will activate this cosmic domino effect. So, if you have the thought or inspiration to do something, especially to create something, DO IT. Creation is inherently worthwhile.

Looking for women bloggers/authors who teach in the realm of money, mindset, personal finance or women’s business to facilitate sessions of the women + prosperity virtual unconference series, August-October 2010. Alternative or ‘woo-woo’ approaches are ideal. BTW – you can do it in your pajamas, and self-promotion is allowed advised (assuming you can offer something of true value to attendees). Email Tara at REThinkRealEstate.com for details.

How can the world find you?
Site: REThinkRealEstate.com (consumers) + Women’s Real Estate & Lifestyle Design Advisor Certification (real estate professionals)
Twitter: @taranicholle
Facebook: Tara on Facebook

. . . . . . .

housekeeping note: I recently changed the system that manages White Hot Truth subscribers. Please open the “CONFIRM” email you receive from me, or simply go to the upper right of my home page and subscribe. It would break my heart to lose touch. (For RSS lovers, nothing’s changing.) xo

Jen Louden is the author of the Oprah-loved The Woman’s Comfort Book, a coach who describes her typical client as “smart, curious, has a pretty good sense of humor, and doesn’t suffer fools lightly.” (sound familiar?) And one of the innovators of the “virtual retreat.”

Her next virtual retreat is right around the corner: Refresh, Reawaken, & Rediscover Who You are in Ways that Truly Work, February 12th-14th.

I especially love Jennifer via video. When she talks about getting the “renewal I need for my soul…” I want it. When she talks about going from “the grind to the organic flow…” I’m nodding. I believe the twinkle in her eye. I start fantasizing about radical self-care and spa time, spirit-centered creative retreats, and meandering to the beat of my heart and I…feel comforted already.

1. What do you know to be true, unquestionably beyond doubt, certain with every cell of your being, completely, passionately, righteously certain?

That I love the bejuses out of my daughter. That befriending myself is better than kicking myself. That I am never alone. That little in life is fixed. That planning isn’t the same as creating. That depletion is another name for hiding your genius. That creating stuff makes me happy. That it’s not about me. That Bob loves me. That nature restores my faith. That my body is the way in. That yoga heals. That books are a miracle. That women will bring about the change we are hungry for. That life is a hoot. Oh, and expect the Spanish Inquisition and be pleasantly surprised when all goes well.

2. What did you decide to stop doing in order to be the real Jen, instead of the gotta-have-it-all, do-it-all Wonder Woman version so many of us are burning out for?

Anything to do with details – I’m a big idea person and very bad with the details. Tracking things. Spelling. House cleaning. Cooking. Sending birthday cards. Committees – never never ever. I’m trying to learn how to hire someone who can help me hold my business. There is an energetic plus detail letting go that is next for me.

3. What happens when women find their voice?

What doesn’t happen? When I wrote my first book in 1992, The Woman’s Comfort Book, that was my feminist manifesto. True self-care liberates self-trust and trust in something larger than yourself and that creates a chain reaction from “I will keep my paycheck husband thank you very much” to “I don’t have to work at a job I hate. I can go back to school / start my own business.”

Claiming our own lives and our own desires can start to feel hackneyed as in old hat, already done, so basic. When in fact, claiming our voice, our selves, will always be the essential act of growing up. Ignore it or belittle it at your own peril.

4. What was the dumbest thing that you used to believe in?

That if I just sold enough books, I would finally believe I was cool. That there was a “done” to arrive at.

5. What are your creative habits? How do you keep the poetry, wisdom and coin flowing?

• Create daily. Something!
• Have someone else capture, polish, put together my big out pourings instead of me. Mornings are sacrosanct. I sleep late (6:45 or 7) in the winter, rise earlier as spring and then our long summers grace us.
• Meditation before anything or the day is shot. Email after that only when my baby is out of town and I need a love hit. Otherwise, wait for the real world – create first.
• Multi-tasking is dangerous and must be avoided during creative time.
• Tend my creative well often with new experiences, quiet time, being and listening.
• Take retreats!
• I read a lot.
• I have to take in new experiences and learning often or I dry up.
• I make art messes often.
• I pray to be inspired.
• I release my judgment of the first draft and dive in deeper.
• When I find myself comparing myself, I think, “Yeah for her/him!”

6. What book(s) are you always telling people to read?

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
Faith by Sharon Salzberg
Art and Fear by Bayles and Orland
Poetry!

7. I’m going to give you a word. Tell me what the first thing that comes to mind when you read it… Ready? The word is: compassion.

Without compassion for myself, I become a brittle depleted self-absorbed bore who hides in fear.

. . . . . . .
FIND JEN
Twitter: @jenlouden
Facebook
JenniferLouden.com

CHECK OUT: JEN LOUDEN’S 2010 COMFORT RETREAT February 12 – 14

Ronna Detrick looks you in the eye. And she listens. And when she speaks, you can see her pulling down wisdom from St. Theresa to Simone de Beauvoir through the filter of her own lived experience, to give you gem of grace – or grit. And, she can write – like a poet on a practical mission. Like a feminist with faith.

Women! (And the fine men who adore us,) come to the Red Tent of White Hot Truth. Ronna is in the house.

1. Let’s start with a big one: how do you define feminism?

I define feminism as more of a personal characteristic than a political or social statement. It’s who I am, how I am, and yes, certainly what I am. It’s an honoring of the strength, power, and inherent worth in women. It’s a naming of the places in which those realities aren’t honored. It’s a way of being that says, “I will not be silenced; I will live out loud. I will not edit or censor myself; I will tell the truth. I will not be safe; I will be dangerous, provocative, risky, and bold.”

2. Another whopper of a question – because you’re a massive spirit, Ms. Ronna, what’s FAITH got to do with FEMINISM?

Mmmm. A tough one. Much I don’t know. Lots of answers I don’t have. But here’s what I do know: the two are not mutually exclusive. Faith, whether it be in ourselves, God, Goddess, Buddha, Mohammad, or the powers of the Universe, is a potent and beautiful thing. It enables hope. It invites desire. It softens and strengthens and sings. As a feminist I want to be able to embrace and embolden every aspect of my life and my world. I want to be able to believe deeply and speak definitively. I want to be able to hope fervently and work my ass off for change. I want to have faith in “truths” beyond myself and be an agent in creating the realities I desire and deserve for myself and those I love. Maybe another way to say it is that I am a feminist with faith; indeed, I must have faith. It’s sometimes all that enables me to hope, believe, and persevere!!!

3. What was the dumbest thing that you used to believe in?

I love this question! I used to believe that saving people’s souls mattered. Now I don’t. My understanding of theology has dramatically changed over the years and, in turn, my understanding of God’s heart (no matter how that power/deity is understood). The process of people coming to believe in things greater than themselves is not mine to coerce, demand, or enforce. So, you won’t see me handing out tracts, repeating any spiritual laws, or quoting Scripture to convince you of one damn thing. If I’m going to be an “evangelist” at all, it’s going to be for great, honest, and provocative conversation. That’s salvation at it’s finest, baby!

4. What’s the best advice you were ever given in terms of business?

There are two statements I keep coming back to. Tell me if they sound at all familiar to you, as you are the one who proclaimed them on my behalf! “I don’t care why you’re stuck. I don’t want to analyze. Let’s just declare that you don’t need to know why and you’re going to rock after this!” and “All of this is going to be easy…let it be easy. You don’t have to work so hard!” I didn’t pay you nearly enough for either piece of this amazing wisdom!

6. What book(s) are you always telling people to read?

Whenever I’m talking to women who are trying to think in new categories about their faith – particularly if they’ve come out of a more conservative tradition, I recommend Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd and its fictional counterpart, The Secret Life of Bees. The classic of In A Different Voice by Carol Gilligan is super important for women trying to understand their own and cultures’ silencing. Favorite novels are A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith and Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. And then I always recommend The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer, and Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Oh, and now I tell everyone to download (and read quarterly) A Brief Guide to World Domination by Chris Guillebeau. It is sacred text to me these days!

7. What’s your favorite belief these days?

Here’s what I believe: if I follow my heart, not editing or censoring, always telling my truth, and living out loud I will know deep and profound experiences of both life and God; both are made manifest in powerful and impossible-to-miss ways when I am my most passionate, most beautiful, most alive self. Isn’t that amazing? And when I actually believe it, when I actually believe in myself? I change. My world changes. EVERYTHING changes! What could be better?!?

. . . . . . .

FIND RONNA

RenegadeConversations.com
On Twitter
RENEGADEconversation Groups + Coaching

A straight-talking female entrepreneurial adviser, SEO cracker jack, with a giving heart who knows her value and has a proclivity for fishnets? How could I not be smitten? What I love about Naomi Dunford’s work is that it’s a) incredibly practical and logical, and b) it radiates an intention of “I’m really here to help you. Really.”

If you feel shitty, Naomi is there for you. If your customers are telling you they’re too broke to buy your great stuff, Naomi is there for you. If you’re scared that you don’t have an ounce of creative great stuff in your marrow, yep, Naomi is there for you. With the real goods – generous intelligence and the crack of her whip. Take that! She knows you need what she’s got. Bad.

1. What do you know to be true, unquestionably beyond doubt, certain with every cell of your being, completely, passionately, righteously certain?

You know, it’s taken me a week to answer this question and now, finally, I’ve realized that I can’t let you sit there waiting for my answers forever, while I think about what it is that I’m certain about. Perhaps it’s best to be honest and say… nothing. I don’t think I’m that certain of anything. I have been certain about so many things and the jarring proof of my wrongness has always been immediate and in direct proportion to the level of my certainty.

Maybe I’m most certain that it is wise to avoid certainty.

2. What was the dumbest thing that you used to believe in?

That I had to make lots of money to be happy. Then I made lots of money and, sure enough, it’s not actually a recipe for constant and all-consuming joy. Who knew? What is it the Grinch says at the end of the book? “Maybe Christmas DOESN’T come from a store… Maybe Christmas means a little bit more”? Yeah, same is true for happiness.

At the same time, having pots of money helps, if only to make you know deep in your own bones that it doesn’t do the stuff you thought it would. It’s one thing getting lectured about money and happiness by Oprah. It’s a whole ‘nother thing when you’re lecturing yourself. (Money is also nice to have so that when you fall into bed at 4:26 am, full of terror and existential angst, you will at least be crying on a very high thread count pillow case. Also, life was never made worse by having a cleaning lady.)

3. What are you positively addicted to?

Giving shit away. I have been quite ridiculously blessed over the last few years, and absolutely nothing makes me happier than giving stuff away. I read this amazingly sweet book by Debbie Macomber called One Simple Act: Discovering the Power of Generosity, and that encapsulates my thoughts quite nicely. I will give money to panhandlers and then walk to the bank to get them more. I go apeshit for Christmas toy drives. I scour my house for change when my church does its penny drive.

I have an anxiety disorder and for years it was crippling. After too long, I finally put the pieces together. When you share, you don’t feel like shit anymore. Eventually, I figured it out. So whenever I feel myself getting anxious, I go find something to give away. I swear, it’s better than cigarettes, to which I am also addicted but not quite so positively.

The other thing is education. I dropped out of high school to give birth to my oldest son and get married, and I never went back. Now I sit around scouring wikipedia and strange sections in the bookstore. I’m homeschooling my son and really trying to push my own boundaries with regard to learning. It’s so easy to go into the bookstore and end up in the section you always end up in through autopilot. But learning something completely and utterly new? Exhilarating.

(In related news, we were out in the backwoods of nowhere yesterday, picking up a puppy for a friend. Jamie says to me, “I wonder why barns are always red.” Out comes the iPhone and bing, bang, boom, here’s the answer. Who knew?)

4. In the mammoth sphere of all things on-line, who do you think has got it going on? Whose stuff do you actually read? And to put a fine point on it, would you pay to read any of it? Big question for a social media cat like you, I know.

Ahh, see? That’s the crucial question, isn’t it? What would I read when I had nothing better to do, versus what would I pay to read? Maybe I’ll take it out of the hypothetical… whose stuff have I actually paid for? Your stuff, but that’s a cheating answer, isn’t it? I’ve paid for Havi’s stuff, although I wish the bitch would get on with writing three books a year so I can really get my fill. I’ve paid for Charlie’s stuff, when he’s not being too philosophicer-than-thou. Goddess Leonie is blowing my damn mind.

When Brian Clark is on his game, he can’t be beat by anyone, anywhere, anytime. Jonathan Fields regularly makes me cry, the bastard. Michael Bungay-Stanier is like a brilliant, rare kind of star and his books are glorious. Chris Brogan can create real, honest-to-God beauty when he’s talking about personal stuff. Pam Slim, same deal. Gary Vaynerchuk, but only when he’s in ass-kicking mode. When he’s nice, I get bored.

Can I write you back when I think of everyone I missed? :)

5. What book(s) are you always telling people to read?

I don’t tell people to read books. The only books I think you should read are the ones that you adore, and screw anybody who tells you otherwise. If I hear “Oh my God, you HAVE to read Made to Stick” one more time, I’m going to shoot myself.

Although, come to think of it, if you haven’t read Malcolm Gladwell, you might want to. I find him eminently useful for when I start thinking I’m smarter than I am.

Never mind. Forget I said anything.

6. I’m going to give you a word. Tell me what the first thing that comes to mind when you read it… Ready? The word is: SISTERHOOD.

One of the things I regret most about my life so far is that I haven’t known enough sisterhood. I lived with my single father for most of my young years, and through various combinations of my parents’ marriages, I ended up with two half-brothers and two step-brothers. We moved around so much that any fledgling relationships with girls were over before they started. And since my father had issues with femininity, I never really learned to bond with other members of my gender. No Barbie dolls and lipgloss in my house.

Then I grew up and gave birth to three boys by 25. Yowza.

Sisterhood is a big priority for me now. I’m thinking of joining a choir, God help us. I’m spending more time with my aunts. I’m trying to forge more female friendships. Most interestingly, my dearest friend is James Chartrand of James Chartrand — a woman pretending to be a man. I’m sure the analysts in your audience will have a field day with that one.

Bonus Q: What’s the best thing about living in Canada?

The lack of pretense. Maybe this is just where I live — southwestern Ontario, The Land Of Hicks and Farmers — but it seems like even in urban areas, we’re all total trailer trash underneath. We play hockey. We drink coffee from Tim Horton’s. “Double double” is literally in our dictionary. We can drive a rusty pickup truck while wearing a flannel shirt and a toque we got out of a case of beer, all without a hint of irony.

Also, there’s something very, very good about a country where men can marry men and women are legally allowed to go topless in public. It says something about a place, you know?

. . . . . . . .
FIND NAOMI
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Twitter: @ittybiz

Have you seen Kelly Diels’ cleavage? It’s deep. She writes with rapier wit and overflowing love, about “everything we all want more of: sex, money, and meaning.” And feminism. And Malcolm Gladwell. Yep. She’s hot.

I read everything she writes. EVERYTHING, honey.

1. What’s your super hero name? (You have one. To discover it, stand with your legs apart and hands on your hips, tits up and eyes to the sky. It’ll come to you. FYI, Mine is Agent Now, which in French translates to L’Agent Maintenent. Adorable n’est pas?)

Madame Passionista. I wear a chain skirt strung with laptop keys and knee high – hell, thigh-high – boots that are not made for walking. My primary super power is the blazing epistle of righteousness and my secondary one is unmentionable in certain circles but makes me very, very popular.

2. What’s the best advice you’ve been given in terms of writing or creativity?

Believe.

3. What do you know to be true, unquestionably beyond doubt, certain with every cell of your being, completely, passionately, righteously certain?

That I am loved.

4. What global policy, credo, practice or law would you like to decree?

This is heavy: an end to sexual abuse in all forms.

5. What book(s) are you always telling people to read?

Freakonomics. I freaking love it. I love work that uses old tools – like economic theory and modeling – in new and quirky ways. I also adore the way my future husband, Malcolm Gladwell, spins essays into intellectual whodunnits.

But my favourite book of all time is To Kill A Mocking Bird.

6. I’m going to give you a word. Tell me what the first thing that comes to mind when you read it… Ready? The word is: instigate.

Shit disturber. My girls. Myself. Provocateur.

7. What question are you currently living?

Faith? Faith. It is new to me. Faith in myself, faith in the universe, faith in the leap and the fall, faith in those that love me and those who don’t, faith in my instincts – I’m sidling up to faith.

Bonus Q: Before we go, Tina Turner asked me to ask you: Kelly, What’s love got to do with it, got to do with it?

Oh, EVERYTHING, honey.

. . . . . . .

FIND KELLY DIELS
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Twitter: @kellydiels
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