The Subtle & Abiding Sense of Failure Angel. Know her?

Ry Cooder is considered to be one of the greatest bluesmen of all time. Yet, on more than one occasion, with a sold out concert and multiple encores, he asked promoters to refund the audience their money because he felt, “I could have been better.”

I have a painter friend whose art sells for $10,000 a painting. She routinely paints over pieces that are for sale in her gallery. It could have been better, she says.

I’ve gotten standing ovations for speaking gigs. “Meh, I give myself a B. Coulda been better.”

Here’s the confession: I always feel like I’m failing. And succeeding. And failing. And succeeding. And failing.

I’m not masochistic. My glass is not ‘half full’, it is oceanic. I feel sturdy and ripe. But The Subtle & Abiding Sense of Failure Thing…. it’s as steady as the green of my eyes.

If you’re committed to the sacred strive, The Subtle & Abiding Sense of Failure Thing will always be along for the ride.

… In your speech, your craft, your work. Pleasing your lover, planting your garden, dispensing your accumulated knowledge. You can make masterpieces. Daily. You can please some people, get a raise, fire up your kundalini, you can hit it out of the park and sleep like a satiated baby that night. And then in she glides, to sit in the chair in the corner of your room: The Subtle & Abiding Sense of Failure Thing.

She’s an angel, I tell you. An angel.

You are not insecure, neurotic, defective, obsessive, or unappreciative.
(Well, maybe you are, but not because you experience The Subtle & Abiding Sense of Failure Angel.)

Coexisting with The Subtle & Abiding Sense of Failure Angel is part of making art.

She is as reliable as your creative impulses.
She comes bearing invitations. To more.

The Subtle & Abiding Sense of Failure Angel is able to enter because you left your heart open.
Leave it open.
You have to.
To make more stuff.
To make it better, so that we evolve and bring one another along for the ride.
Where demons get to be angels if you look at them the right way.

related posts
Featured @2x 456x456 (19)

5 pointers for developing freedom-based creativity & work habits. Which is to say, you’ve got to dissolve guilt and rock your own rhythm.

A note on CREATIVE FLOW…. I’m “working” today. Wasn’t planning on it. It’s a sunny, gorgeous Vancouver Sunday. But since my kid is running around the block with his neighbour buddies, I’m using this time to write, respond, vision.

456x456-Are you hanging by a thread?

Are you hanging by a thread?

It’s hard. It’s wrenching. It’s incredibly painful and it’s difficult to feel lightness. Or to see clearly. Hanging by a thread can be really disorienting. What you’re going through undeniably sucks. It may be hard to believe right now, but not only will it be okay, not only will you get through and over this, you will thrive again…

456x456-in praise of women- magnificent, spacious, fiery witnesses

in praise of women: magnificent, spacious, fiery witnesses

I often hear “women are our own worst enemies” in terms of our culture. I’m tired of that argument. I think everyone is their own worst enemy, and I don’t think it’s about something women have specifically against each other.

Featured @2x 456x456 (17)

[VIDEO] Deep creativity and the jitters. Feel the doubt…and be of service anyway.

There’s a difference between the definition of happiness and the definition of joy. It’s valuable to be aware of this because when things get tough, logic might want you to default to despair, or utter sadness or worse, you might think you have to choose between hardship and joy, or support and separation, or light and dark…

Social 1 @2x

My SuperSoul100 brunch with Oprah (yep!) and support notes for all of you Lightworkers and generally progressive humans…

There’s a difference between the definition of happiness and the definition of joy. It’s valuable to be aware of this because when things get tough, logic might want you to default to despair, or utter sadness or worse, you might think you have to choose between hardship and joy, or support and separation, or light and dark…

Featured @2x 456x456 (16)

The difference between happiness & joy. And why it helps to know.

There’s a difference between the definition of happiness and the definition of joy. It’s valuable to be aware of this because when things get tough, logic might want you to default to despair, or utter sadness or worse, you might think you have to choose between hardship and joy, or support and separation, or light and dark…

Original-Self-Help-July-28-When-You’re-Done-Fighting-For-It

When you’re done fighting for it. The upside of finally giving up.

Do you know the story of the man who was hitting himself over the head with a hammer? “Why do you keep hitting yourself with that hammer?” a shocked passerby asked him. “Because,” the man replied, “it’s going to feel so good when I stop.”

Featured @2x 456x456 (14)

You will be called on to expand. And this is why we practice.

I travelled to Dharamshala, India with six friends to meet with The Dalai Lama. It was cell-altering and heart-expanding. The week before our arrival, there had been a horrible event in which some monks were murdered — most shockingly, by other monks. The story was on everyone’s mind and in our small, private meeting with His Holiness, the first thing we did was offer our condolences. His response captivated me…

Featured @2x 456x456 (12)

You’re going to feel guilty

The guilty feeling associated with desire, with going after what you want, with transforming….you know that feeling? It’s like tar on your mojo. Maybe you were raised in an environment where desire was considered a negative thing. Or your social circle constantly reinforces the message that you shouldn’t dare to bust out. And maybe you frequently feel guilty for wanting what you want — and you know that it’s causing blocks in your life…

Featured @2x 456x456 (11)

Love your sadness. It won’t last.

I was feeling it. Pure sadness — the inescapability of it plowing through the softest part of me. When you’re in that kind of painful place you’ll try to climb the walls to get away from it. You want it over with. “Love your sadness. It won’t last long.” A friend texted me late at night. I caught it just as I was turning off my bedroom light….

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This