the suck factor of life balance, + passion as a cure to stress

I no sooner want to be balanced than I want to be a “good” girl. “Balance” is not something I want to live down to.
– me

If consensus is overrated, I think balance is too. I have no interest in living
a balanced life. I want a life of adventure.
Chris Guillebeau

In the end, the quest for balance is bogus. Love your burdens. Love them hard. And when your loves knock you down or your weak ankles trip you up, stop worrying about balancing – ‘cuz you’re not – and bounce.
Kelly Diels

Life balance. Low fat cheese. Walking shoes. Small talk.
Life balance. The term makes me feel bloated and late for my own party.
Life balance. Stressful.

The pursuit of balance makes us juggle. It puts us behind (always behind,) makes us guilty, neglectful, imbalanced. It’s as useful a concept as original sin. You can never get it right.

If you want to do great things, striving for balance is a losing game. I don’t think remarkable artists, scientists, activists, entrepreneurs, or generous souls set out on their giving journeys with the aim to be measured and harmonious. Meeting your potential is inherently full of tension (creative tension.) Trying to be balanced about it is onerous and futile.

Fuhget about it. Put balance on pause and feel into…

The out-of-whackness of your life
– gigs, kids, commitments, projects. It’s a lot. Yes, indeed it is.
The passion in your cells – to eat life whole, to innovate, to score, to, as Emerson put it, “leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition.”

Feel into….
The hunger to fill the hole in your soul – doesn’t matter how it got there – if it’s there, it’s there.
The aspirations that show up as dreams or strategies.
The curves of your drive.

[HOLD FOR THE PUNCHLINE:]

If you’re alive, ambitious, or depressed; inventive, in the lead, or rapturous – you are imbalanced. The off-kiltering of your life may make you gasp – in grief or in glory. You could be on the leading edge of your consciousness – thriving. You could be a total mess. Things may need to be put in proper order. Loved ones. Goals. Your well being. Your mental clutter. Your blood pressure. Your Mastercard statement. But…

[THIS IS THE PUNCHLINE:]

Getting “balanced” is not the remedy to stress.

Passion is.

I burn a lot of omlettes. It’s a regular occurrence – I’m drawing robots with my kid, I’m jotting down an idea I don’t want to lose, I’m taking the call. And then the smoke alarms goes off. I “work” on holidays. Last Monday I stayed in bed and read all day. I send birthday gifts three months early or three months late – but it’s just the right gift. I can eat cereal every day for a week, wearing the same clothes, never leaving the house because I want to finish a book. I like last minute trips out of town and not answering email for days. The last time I was at a monastery, I tweeted about it.

This is not a balanced life. But it works. And the more I pursue my passions, the more uncomplicated my life gets, actually. There’s not much in my life that I resent. And if resentment builds, I’m swift to get it off my plate. It’s not the imbalance-ness that stresses me, it’s doing meaningless things that aren’t taking me where I want to go.

MOTHERS + CEOs

When we talk about the whole life balance issue, working mothers are central to the conversation. How does the screw-life-balance-and-go-for-passion theory apply when you’re juggling P ‘n L’s and macaroni ‘n cheese? It’s about an overall proportion in your life, not perfection. It’s a work hard / play hard equation. It’s about draining your reserves and filling them up again with precious moments or a stolen day. You give give give give give and give some more, and then you get. It’s a wonky equation – creating works of art always is – but if you don’t stress about how you “should do it”, you can create the best way to do it.

When passion is a priority – passion for family, vocation, for meaning – your energy intensifies. And when your energy is more focused, more, “aimed”, you begin to care less about the things that don’t really matter. You avoid crappy jobs, you stop over-controlling your kids, you nag and complain much less – with everyone. You get the help you need to pull off the important things – whether you’re a CEO or an aspiring freelancer, and that support takes the form of a house cleaner, a VA, or a friend or mentor to jam with.

REFUSE TO BE BALANCED

When you refuse the banality of balance and go for full on life (which includes full on productivity and full on stillness,) you’ll see the inevitable mess of it all as something more beautiful and purposeful – full of peaks and valleys – an adventure. The climb can be rigorous, grueling sometimes, but the air is cleaner, and the view will blow your mind. The fruit you’ll find on your own tilted path is so much sweeter – and there’s so much more of it to share.

related posts
DanielleLaporte.MeditationKit.TheEarthAdoration.Social.LaunchAnnouncement_Social.Slideshow.7

When you’re heartsore for our planet—here’s a practice for you.

The Earth Adoration Meditation is the kind of focused adoration that empowers us to live lightly on the land and effect the change that so direly needs to happen.

Love, transactionality and the “5 people” you hang with-1

Love, transactionality, and the “5 people” you hang with

We hear this from motivators: “You are the average of the 5 people that you surround yourself with.”

Global Love

Canadian roots. Global love.

In case you didn’t know, we have GLOBAL love for our readers and workshop attendees. Like, three-books-translated-into-TEN-languages kind of love…

How to Heal a Fractured Society Guest post by Hiro Boga-feature

How to Heal a Fractured Society. Guest post by Hiro Boga.

After I read this sage offering from my beloved friend, Hiro Boga, I emailed her immediately and said: “This is INCREDIBLE. This diamond wisdom gave me deep comfort. It feels like an Answer. So beautiful and clear and right.”

Embrace Meditation with Danielle LaPorte

The doors to EMBRACE close today—get in soon

Only a few hours left to join Embrace: The Divine Feminine (the live meditation class), and ease into the weekend feeling more… LUMINOUS.

meditation

Fiercely-loving + ALL-embracing. Meet my newest meditation…

When I talk about The Divine Feminine as a principle it’s not (necessarily) about being in a goddess circle, or being ultra orgasmic (tho, that’s great), or even about being in a female body. The Divine Feminine exists in every being, in all life forms. The Feminine is fluid, generative, creative, spacious, receptive… the embrace that perpetually heals and nourishes.

Morality Danielle LaPorte

Morality, deep beauty and Faith: How you coping these days?

I am examining where in my life I can be more impeccable in linking desire to deed. CARE-FULL. I am making space to breathe more deliberately. These times call for deep breathing so you can hitch your passion to mindful action. So breathe.

DanielleLaporte.Donation.ReuniteDetainedImmigrantChildren.June19-24_.IGPost.2

#FamiliesBelongTogether: More ways to help, everywhere you live

If this issue makes your heart hurt there is something you can do about it, from anywhere you live. Humane treatment of children is a planetary issue.

A few growth pointers from Team D

A few growth pointers from Team D

Here are some field notes for growth from the two amazing women who run our business.

DanielleLaporte.Donation.ReuniteDetainedImmigrantChildren.June19-24_.EmailHeader

Heartache → Action: You donate to reunite separated border families, and this is what we’ll give you… (time sensitive)

Heartache → Action: You donate to reunite separated border families, and this is what we’ll give you… (time sensitive)

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This