Swallowing your words, paying rent in hell, and maintaining appearances. Why we make (unhealthy) compromises.

There are two kinds of compromise: the kind that heals you by expanding you — it’s the healthy kind that stems from real love and grace. And because it usually brings some delight with it, then doesn’t feel much like a compromise after all. And then there’s the kind of compromise that bruises your soul — the not-so-healthy kind that is driven by varying degrees of desperation and fear.

We make unhealthy compromises for three reasons:
1. Fear that we won’t get what we really want.
2. Fear that we won’t get what we really want.
3. Fear that we won’t get what we really want.

There are a lot of layers to get to root-fear of not getting what we want. We don’t speak up for fear of rejection and criticism — which would keep us from the love and respect we really want. We stay in ridiculously dramatic relationships for fear of loneliness or despair — which would keep us from the connection and joy we really want. We keep up with social situations even though they make us feel flat, fake, or alien, because we don’t want to be cast off entirely — because that might keep us from the nourishment and affinity that we really want.

In review:

We compromise — we swallow our words, keep paying rent in hell, and maintaining appearances, because we’re afraid that we won’t get what we really want if we… really tell the fucking truth, choose joy over pain, and show up as ourselves. But if we don’t really tell the fucking truth, choose joy over pain, and show up as ourselves… we’ll never get what we really want.

Your soul is waiting for you on the other side of unhealthy compromise.

It may take all you’ve got to swim across the channel of doubt and holding out. You may even experience rejection, criticism, and loneliness (in fact, it’s very, highly likely). But you’ll get what you really want. Really.

 

 

related posts
Letters for Renewal Danielle LaPorte

30 days of courage, conviction, and hopefulness. Register (for free!) now.

I’m curating something very sweet for the month of September: a daily dose of wisdom, poetry, and visual beauty to help us realign our inner drives with our outer doings.

Begging Bowl Poem Danielle LaPorte Social

The Begging Bowl: a poem for love

Eventually, we will all beg for love—proudly.

Danielle LaPorte 2019 Desire Map Planners

Excitement. Elation. Attraction… These new Desire Map Planner covers will make you FEEL things.

The cover art for this year’s Desire Map Planner Collection may start a conversation at your cafe (does that make all of the introverts deep breathe?) Super sensual. They’re like, highly Instagrammable, and with three different versions to choose from, you’re going to be stewing about your pick.

Imagine being better than ever Danielle LaPorte

Imagine being better than ever. For reals.

A healer gave me this medicine when I was crawling back to health: You’ll forget it was this bad. I had to stretch to believe her, but I imagined the future that I most deeply and wildly desired. I dared myself to go beyond the baseline of “well” and “recovered” and into the quantum field of truly better than ever.

DanielleLaporte.MeditationKit.TheEarthAdoration.Social.LaunchAnnouncement_Social.Slideshow.7

Registration closes soon. Don’t miss this healing event for Mother Earth.

The Earth Adoration Meditation is the kind of focused adoration that empowers us to live lightly on the land and effect the change that so direly needs to happen.

10 positive consequences of NOT improving yourself-1

10 positive consequences of NOT improving yourself

When you get off of your own case, you tend to ease up on everyone else around you. Which makes you way more fun to be around. Way more. Only good can come of that.

You will probably be more accepting of the way people are.

DanielleLaporte.MeditationKit.TheEarthAdoration.Social.LaunchAnnouncement_Social.Slideshow.7

The power of GROUP meditation for planetary healing

This meditation supports Group Consciousness—you’ll visualize interacting with your angel tribe, and together you’ll move through space and time. Team Radiance.

When “pushing through it” isn’t working for you anymore. This is how to rally…

When “pushing through it” isn’t working for you anymore. This is how to rally…

I was down for the count. Making time to heal became my Soul focus. I had to make some changes. The end of your rope may be a beautiful turning point.

Danielle-Laporte-2019-Desire-Map-Planner

[Save the Date] New Desire Map’ness is coming… This is BIG!!!

There’s lots to celebrate… New cover art that’s gorgeously sensual. Three new formats for every kind of Planner personality: the Undated Planner (you can start any time), the Interactive Planner (for iPad), and the Printable Planner. A deeper-but-understandable Astrology Guide.

DanielleLaporte.MeditationKit.EarthAdoration.Social.PrayerPoster.IG

Say this prayer, until all beings are free.

I adore this prayer. I think it sums up relentless compassion—it covers all the bases of service and protection.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This