What do you want… that you already have?

Make a list of what you desire.

Easy, right?

More love, money, time, tenderness, play, money, comfort, power, freedom, culture, entertainment. You can get really specific with particular areas of your life, like, “I want to laugh more with my man.” Or “I want an additional $500 every pay period.” Or, “I want to spend more time in nature.” Or, “I want a friend to tell my big dreams to.”

I’m a raving fan of wishing and want-lists. But the downside is that wish lists can distract us from what’s already working in our life.

And when you notice how rich you already are, you tend to prosper more.

Go through your wish list and next to each want think about where you already have that quality or experience in your life — you might have to dig deep to find it. That’s okay. You’ll find it somewhere. Even if it’s just a speck.

“I want to laugh more with my man.” = Sally makes me laugh my ass off at least twice a week. Jack at work is good for a giggle everyday. (Action note to self: Call Sally more. Thank her for making me laugh. Hang out with Jack at the water cooler.)

“I want an additional $500 every pay period.” = I got money back from income taxes! I get a paid holiday next week. Now that I work at home on Fridays, I save $100 bucks a month on train fair and lunch out. (Affirmative note to self: my money/energy flow is increasing.)

“I want to spend more time in nature.” = Even though I work in florescent lights and haven’t been hiking all year, I’m bringing flowers to work this week, sleeping with the windows open, sitting on my balcony to say prayers every night before bed. (Action note to self: book that hike in NOW. No excuses.)

“I want a good friend to tell my big dreams to.” = My journal, my dog, and my deaf grandma are all great listeners. I can tell them anything and everything about my dreams and they don’t judge me. (Affirmative note to self: even if I don’t have a best friend who gets me, life hears my dreams. Every single one.)

Here’s what happens when you find evidence of dreams come true in your current reality (even if it’s a stretch to do so):

  • you take the neediness vibe out of your aspirations, and when you’re less desperate you think more clearly and act more calmly
  • you muster up gratitude (and gratitude is a form of empowerment)
  • you might realize that you’re further along than you’ve been giving yourself credit for (hello confidence!)

So, what do you want… that you already have?


related posts

What’s underneath wishful thinking?

Wishful thinking is tangled up with craving. We want what we want. So we ignore the evidence that we’re very likely not going to get what we want out of a situation. Craving… wishing. Craving… denial. Craving… tolerating. It’s a wishous cycle.


Don’t worry about being invited back. My Manifesto for Creativity.

Meaningfulness. Reveal myself. Be compassionate. Don’t worry about being invited back. Go there. xo. I jotted this down when I began writing my book. I wanted a manifesto and it had to happen quickly because…I had a book to write.


Life is what happens on the way to the finish line.

If you’re not loving what it feels like between your various life destinations, then get off the ride. Burn the itinerary. Fuck “motivation” and be still long enough to find your inspiration.


Let the Love in. Because, “It’s an honour to help you.”

I was in a spiritual tizzy — that’s an esoteric term for 80% emotions-running-wild, and 20% having faith that everything will work out. I can’t remember what it was over (probably divorce papers, or a publishing contract, or buying a house. But it involved documents and beaucoup emotion.)


What to do after you have a breakthrough. (You’re going to shrink after you expand, so, listen closely.)

Threshold, crossed. You got there. After the grinding, the repetitive strain, the cord-cutting, the screams of release, the bliss of relief — the training paid off. Muscle burn got you across the finish line. Soul fire resurrected you. BREAKTHROUGH.


Why jerks show up in your life.

We attract jerks to burn karma — old agreements to be broken in current time, vows to be rescinded, slates to be wiped clean. We attract jerks for contrast — jerks show us what deception and manipulation feels like. They show us how we DON’T want to feel — which is excellent intel for knowing how we DO want to feel.

Featured @2x 456x456 (20)

The epidemic of the brittle woman and the salvation of softness

You know her. Maybe you are her. Or you were. Sisters, please don’t become her. Sisters (and brothers), let’s heal her. She’s giving up on love and life. Sometime, as a result of having to try too hard to get her very essential Soul needs met she… just… got… worn…down. She had no choice but to stiffen. Then she realized that she had a choice.

Featured @2x 456x456 (19)

5 pointers for developing freedom-based creativity & work habits. Which is to say, you’ve got to dissolve guilt and rock your own rhythm.

A note on CREATIVE FLOW…. I’m “working” today. Wasn’t planning on it. It’s a sunny, gorgeous Vancouver Sunday. But since my kid is running around the block with his neighbour buddies, I’m using this time to write, respond, vision.

456x456-Are you hanging by a thread?

Are you hanging by a thread?

It’s hard. It’s wrenching. It’s incredibly painful and it’s difficult to feel lightness. Or to see clearly. Hanging by a thread can be really disorienting. What you’re going through undeniably sucks. It may be hard to believe right now, but not only will it be okay, not only will you get through and over this, you will thrive again…

456x456-in praise of women- magnificent, spacious, fiery witnesses

in praise of women: magnificent, spacious, fiery witnesses

I often hear “women are our own worst enemies” in terms of our culture. I’m tired of that argument. I think everyone is their own worst enemy, and I don’t think it’s about something women have specifically against each other.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This