what is your relationship to…life?

I’m not sure there is a bigger question than this. It bears repeating:
what…is…your relationship to life?

I was in Kauai in the fall and read Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth between beaches. And this question of his became my walking, rambling, meditation. “What is my relationship…to LIFE?!” Daunting. Spectacular. Galvanizing. Perhaps my favourite question of all time.

It opened the floodgates of inquiry for me. I spiraled it backwards to look at my relationship to my man, my child, my families of blood and soul … my portals of connectivity and on good days, communion. What was the majority experience of me showing up in the world? How is it that I am vulnerable? What feels pure and steadfast within my cells?

One question led to another. What do I bring forth from the well of my essential self, and what do I keep in reserve, locked, frightened, greedy, proud, and practical? When I engage with people what is my motive? How do I greet strangers and friends with whom I have history?

What is my most regular waking thought?

What is my favourite feeling? Who am I trying to impress? How do I stand in crisis? Where does my generosity stop? What gets to the core of my core?

I actually didn’t need to delve into the deep recesses of my psyche. It turned out to be a remarkably basic exercise – one that I bet you could find your own answer to by the end of today. It all got down to this simple sub-plot question:

How am I with people?

I saw the pattern of truth emerge, a through-line to ALL of my interactions with people … with everyone, every one. Whether it is my lover-companion of ten years with whom I can be amazing or pathetic, or it’s the dude sliding my tea across the counter, there is a consistent energy and attitude that I bring to them. I can see the rhythm of it in my mind. It goes like this: I give off a honey-golden love warmth, an “I love you, we’re in this together” declaration. It’s pure and it’s innocent and is graciously global.

Then out comes this acuity, a kind of “I get you, I see you, and I’m very serious about it.” I’m not sure if it’s a natural intensity or if it’s a protective reaction that roots in fear, but often, my next level of vibe is either something along the subtle lines of “don’t fuck with me,” or “you do your thing, I’ll do mine, and all is well.”

When I looked at my relationship to the humans (and my dog counts as a human,) that I relate to, it became clear that I am a planet of love with a hair-trigger drawbridge that closes without much warning. I am, and this was somewhat heartbreaking for me to realize…I am somewhat reserved with my love.

And thus, my relationship to life is: Big Love. True Smile. Tricky Lock.

It’s a long term relationship. My vows are a work in progress.

related posts
Featured @2x 456x456

Infidelity, sisterhood, and self-respect either way. #Lemonade and Love.

My feelings about infidelity, monogamy and commitment — and how they’ve evolved over time. How I define Divine Fidelity a la David Deida’s 3 stages of relationships. And my deep respect for Beyonce’s art and every woman’s choice of devotion.

Featured @2x 456x456 (6)

The most powerful possible Yes to women

…to the dark, the spacious, the sweet, the jaded, the women who live as certain as light rays,
who renovate broken boardrooms and policies with justified anger and overwhelming Love —
Love of inclusion, of ecology, of bone solid Truth — Love of Love.

Featured @2x 456x456 (5)

Comparison is a killer. Cut it out.

Bless the people you feel envious of. The rich, skinny, in-love, confident, powerful people. Quicker than you can say “I wish I had that…,” say to yourself, or even better, to them, “Way to go…you look great…I admire you.” With envy out of the way, you’ll have more space for your own greatness to step forward.

^E1CFFDF9D213DCD421AF321F263914146A310A11C12D9DC0D1^pimgpsh_fullsize_distr

You are worthy of your desires

To say no.

To say yes.

To have your deepest needs met.

To be seen.

To be loved for what is seen.

Featured @2x 456x456 (2)

Pressed against a star (a poem for longing to be home.)

You are worth waiting for,
tall beam of Light.
And I will open the door for you like our lives depend on it.

Featured @2x 456x456

Feminism is consciousness. Lessons for my imaginary daughter & women — including Kim Kardashian.

All communication begins with intention. A loving word, or flipping someone the bird. A treatise on feminism, or an ageist tweet out to your peers.

@angie.byrd@2x

Use your wings

You’re cosmic. You are winged with light. And that means you have the power to get where you want to go, to see what’s really going on in a situation, to make excellent decisions.

Featured @2x 456x456 (1)

Walking away, music history, and not trying to heal other people. 9 of the Best Things I Ever Did (Volume 2)

I walked away. I held out. I weathered the craving to compromise. And wow, guys, having heart-centered high standards pays off. Big time. Life meets you where you honour yourself.

Featured @2x 456x456

Recovering from self-help exhaustion? Join the club.

My friend Jess Ortner and I had a great conversation about the downer of always trying to be up. Perfect for her podcast called Adventures in Happiness. This is one of my favourite, truly useful conversations for being on the so-called “Path”.

Featured @2x 456x456

Self help + helpful cynicism. A very real conversation about modern spirituality between girlfriends.

Emelia and I go about things from different ends and get close to the same bright center — real, no bullshit compassion. Put on the kettle and listen in.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This