Break the law, bag the contract, ignore your lawyer, be yourself

1556W-Break the law, bag the contract, ignore your lawyer, be yourself@2x

For even the most assured and self-referencing person, legalities and money matters are major character testers. I’ve made my most heart breaking mistakes—and my greatest personal strides in these departments.

I’ve caved to advice that didn’t match my conscience, and I’ve crusaded for love when it seemed foolish to be so…trusting…so generous…so transparent.

Advisor meeting #1

Live and learn.
I was advised to inform someone I was working with about a change in our business contract—via writing, by a certain date, with a few sentences of legal certainty sprinkled in. And so I did. Because I was all freaked out about maybe not getting my way. Because I believed an expert over my heart.

When that person received my rather official, out-of-character communication, she reached out to talk. “Why didn’t you just be ‘Danielle’ about this and call me?” she said, softly. I never wanted to turn back time as much as I did in that moment. I still get choked when I think about how much hurt and confusion I caused.

Advisor meeting #2

Live what you’ve learned.
I had an exploratory meeting with a lawyer about a business dissolution. I walked away feeling like I’d just had sniper training. Not in a million years would I treat the other party involved as I was advised to. “Smoke ’em out. It’s your legal right.”

This time my response was: I know what the laws are. I understand how this is usually done. But “usual” is gross. So I’ll get this one on my own.

Especially in business matters, you’re going to hear this refrain like a zombie anthem: This is how it’s done. And here’s what you might need to say: Well, that’s not how I do things.

Fear hardens us. When we over-protect ourselves we get further from who we really are.

Legal agreements can be beautiful things. And sometimes when it all goes south you’ve got to whip out your sword and make sure you get out with your gold and your dignity. And for the record, I adore my IP lawyer, who makes it his business to protect my work in the world. That said, my heart is law.

Final notes on this matter

  • Make a deal on a handshake if you want to. Overpay. Be generous. It’s your call.
  • Don’t treat your once-was friend like they’re your enemy—treat them like they were once your friend.
  • Remember that with respect to lawyers and business advisors—they will advise you within their scope of comfort and habit. Lawyers want to get legal. Business advisors want to do business as usual.
  • Break out of the standard contract if you need to—and write your own rules—for life.


related posts

[LIGHT WORK] We can’t get to the light, until we understand the suffering.

I’ve struggled for a long time with wondering if pain and suffering were essential to growth. Are they essential to me being a more expanded, clear minded, loving, joyous, sexy human being? Do I have to hurt to get there? Well, I fucking hope not… but I haven’t figured out a way around suffering yet.


[LIGHT WORK] The upside of suffering… sort of.

You see, there is suffering in the sensitivity. It hurts to feel. And we’re raised to strive—to desensitize—and it’s killing us. I think the strength is in opening. That opening to feel is where resiliency is born.

[LIGHT WORK, Ep. #1] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy5

[LIGHT WORK] The union. The bliss. The bind…Friendship is EVERYthing.

I want to go deep into this conversation about creating Fulfilling Friendships. I’ve got lots to say about engaged listening, self respect, breaking up (when necessary), and celebrating our friend-loves. I’ve also got plenty of opinions and practices for self-compassion, deep spiritual devotion, healthier relationships with our damn phones, and better quality sleep.

Danielle LaPorte Light Work

[LIGHT WORK] Friends, Lovers, and Therapy

I asked about a zillion people what they wanted more of in their lives. The #1 craving, by far: more fulfilling FRIENDSHIPS. We’re connection starved, we know this. Let me give you a peek into my own circle. In this first episode of LIGHT WORK, I use my own friends as how-to examples for creating radical support and sweetness in your life.

Do not doubt the wisdom of your rage

Do not doubt the wisdom of your rage. (inspired by recent events)

Popularity isn’t always true power. Money isn’t always success. Experience does not guarantee wisdom. Question it all. And do not doubt the wisdom of your rage.

GOOD MANNERS and some wuv. We could all use more of them-feature

GOOD MANNERS and some wuv. We could all use more of them.

There are still some basic good manners that should prevail no matter our generation, station, or affiliation. Here’s what it might mean to be classy, kind, and considerate whenever you are able (and we are almost always able).


I made something new for you. For US.

The LIGHT WORK series will unfold over six episodes. These are girlfriend-style sermons on serving the world while staying sane, cosmic connectedness over tech addiction, self compassion and more fulfilling friendships. Poetry. Hilarity. Peeks into the personal.


Girlfriend-style sermons on saving the world while staying sane; choosing cosmic connectedness over tech addiction; self compassion and more fulfilling friendships—from Danielle LaPorte, a member of of Oprah’s Super Soul 100 and author of The Desire Map. How can you feel more lit up, closer to what matters without losing your edge? Tune in for Danielle’s poetic and often hilarious straight-talk on self-realization.


Update for my peoples: Clarity on my new thing. It has a name. And you may want to make some space for it.

Update for my peoples: Clarity on my new thing. It has a name. And you may want to make some space for it.

The most powerful possible Yes to women

…to the dark, the spacious, the sweet, the jaded, the women who live as certain as light rays,
who renovate broken boardrooms and policies with justified anger and overwhelming Love —
Love of inclusion, of ecology, of bone solid Truth — Love of Love.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This