The moments that make for burning gratitude.
I was in the ladies room at a conference centre where I’d just spoken on stage. I opened the bathroom stall and there was a line up of women. “All yours!,” I gestured to the lady at the front of the line. “Oh we’re not waiting for the bathroom,” she said. “We’re all waiting to talk to you.” That was a moment, for sure.
Last week, I surprised a book club in LA. And one of the women there was taking notes in The Desire Map Day Planner. It was the first time I’d seen anyone else with the Day Planner in their hands. I made that! I thought. And she's writing in it. That was a moment.
A woman wrote me to say that she sat her man down on the sofa and asked him how he most wanted to feel (subversive desire mapping, I love it). He said he probably hadn’t thought about how he wanted to feel since he was twelve years old. He thought about it. He melted a bit. “I want to feel respected, yah, I think one of my most desire feelings is respect.” And she lit up, “I can do that! I know how to help you feel respected!” And then it probably got hot from there. That story was a moment for me.
The photos that are rolling in on social media of people with The Desire Map or The Fire Starter Sessions in their hands -- they make my heart swell -- so many moments. Two women in their kitchen hugging the book, with this caption: "World's Smallest Book Club!" Books at the beach, books being read by puppies and babies. Moments.
My gratitude for all of this burns in my solar plexus. Sometimes I push against it. I have to consciously breathe it in — choose to expand rather than contract, choose to let it melt any illusions of lack. Mostly, I breathe, and smile deeply, and say Thank you. And then I detach a bit. Because you know, I don't think I have much to do with anyone else's a-ha's. And I just get on with being expressive… grateful… expressive… grateful.
I'm thankful that you read what I write. (There is part of my brain that has to stretch to make the connection that I send stuff into the ethers... and people run it through their minds.) I'm thankful for sweet, sweet interactions in the airport and grocery stores. I'm thankful for the thanks. I see every Facebook post, all the Instagrams. I read the blogs talking about their Desire Map experiences. I don't often comment on them, but I've been there, like a shy fairy. Thank you.
. . . .
For the next few weeks I'm doing a "reprise series" of my favourite articles on the site, and running some of the interviews I've done recently -- some incredible conversations have been had. Meanwhile, I'm going to have a lite sabbatical. Hit a day time yoga class, make veggie chili for my kid. I am going to meander... experience days without deadlines. Do some creative savanasa. Team D and I... we are going to be making a whole new kind of art this year. I can hear the back beat already, see the hues. But first… meander time. And deepening gratitude.