Did you get interrupted on the way to “ideal”?
photo titled: "Kid interrupting poignant selfie” August 2017
My life has next to zero resemblance of what I thought it would look like when I started to act like an adult (I just snorted when I typed that.)
I was supposed to marry my soul mate the first time around. I was supposed to have won something super shiny by now like an Oscar, (And the winner for best documentary is...) or have scored a car in a raffle because God wanted to bonus me for being such a spiritual overachiever.
In my new-to-adulthood mind (about the same time I was sleeping with much older men to test out my power and learn about wine. [I learned nothing about wine.]) I envisioned myself going to a lot of cocktail parties wearing all those big rings I was collecting. I was going to speak fluent French, not just enough to swear in Québécois or order crepes.
In my incredible future I would have been doing yoga so consistently for so many years, that by now I'd be a sinewy little waif with abs of asana steel….wearing one of my cocktail rings in yoga class. So chill about my flexi awesomeness.
I would have been to Fiji and seen an opera at The Met by now. I was also going to have two divinely-timed children. (I went for quality over quantity.) Oh and I was going to have the same friends forever and ever. And I was going to paint like Rothko.
None of those things have happened, some never will. (Except, I always knew that I’d have a little boy and he’d be incredible.) I may or may not get to Fiji this lifetime. But you know, I think I’d rather just keep going to Paris for crepes.
Every “image” I had of my “ideal” life has been interrupted, derailed, splattered on the road to this sometimes way too fucking complicated, patience-of-Job, deeply deep and BEAUTIFUL life that I find myself in. CORRECTION: I didn’t “find” myself here. I made choices to be here — right where I am. One choice at a time.
Every time you choose to go for a “feeling” instead of an “image”, you’re making a courageous choice.
Here's what I'd say to her, to me in my tube skirt and cowboy boots, chugging chocolate milk on a Saturday morning for a tequila hangover:
How do you want your future to feel?
And she would have replied, without hesitation, “I want my life to feel AMAZING!" And she wouldn't have had a clue what that was going to "look" like. “Ideal” would have been a mystery to unfold instead of a trail of milestones.
And she would have known that…
the detours and interruptions are warning bells and magical spells. T W E E T ♥
Choose to unfold. It’s way less predictable, less tidy, it’s highly inconvenient. And it’s where the power is. T W E E T ♥
The kind of beautiful, gorgeous power you’ve been craving to feel your entire life.
Nudge your friend to hear the warning bell and magical spell… just press send. xo
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