fear.less stories: the beautiful epidemic of fear
I learned this great little self-psych, truth-excavating trick in a Diamond Approach workshop: repetitive asking of the same question. It’s simple, annoying, and soul-exfoliating. And it ALWAYS works with me and my fear. If you can breathe through the discomfort of not knowing, or the blocks that come up with digging into the “logic” of fear, this exercise can be incredibly effective, and fast. It just requires an open heart.
Following is an excerpt from Fear.Less Stories, an interviewed from Ishita Gupta. You can download the full, gorgeous magazine by clicking here now: I sound a bit hard core, but I’m much more sweet then this snippet might have you believe. (All the more reason to go read the full article.)
We’re a culture of fear because we’re a culture of conformity. I’m a Zen master when it comes to fear with my entrepreneurial clients. I get out the cane and whack it and tell them, “Get over it.” I ask, “Do you want to be scared or do you want to be broke? Do you want to be scared, or do you want to move forward?” It’s OK if you want to be scared. You can do that if you want to stay in your 9-to-5 job.
When you make it that black and white, it becomes clear which way they’re going to go. I often do an exercise with people where I repeat the same question to them two, three, four times until we get to what’s really bothering them, until we get to their truth. If someone’s talking about their start-up, I say, “What are you scared of?” And they might say, “I’m scared of losing money.” I say, “What are you scared of?” They say, ‘I’m scared of making my husband angry.” I say, “What are you scared of?” They say, “I’m afraid of being alone.”
And there you go. There’s always a silent moment. Who’d have thought they’re scared to start their business because they may end up alone? Just the exercise of seeing that “a-ha” moment is fuel for getting on with things.
Everyone is struggling with the same thing: fear of being his or her true self. Everyone from artists to start-ups to high-level CEOs – everyone. They all have the same craving, the same longing to just get paid and be authentic. My God, it’s a beautiful epidemic.