New, little big deals. Is this the week you do what you've been scared of?
My friend Robindra promised he’d show me some DJ ropes (because I wanna spin and mix and stuff when I grow up). He got a gig in North Van and said I could tag along for the night. So I Facebook’d about it, mentioned the locale, said it was a great way to kick off my birthday week, and I put on my black high tops to head out.
Jump cut to an hour into my shadow DJ lesson, skimming playlists and learning about bass lines, when a woman who’d been sitting at the bar the whole time tapped me on the shoulder. She handed me the most incredible bouquet of peonies and a card. “Hi Danielle, Happy Birthday,” she said. "You inspire me. That’s all I came to say really.” I was blown away. It was so random and beautiful. I don’t think anyone else in the place knew me. Just her. Waiting. (Sweet woman, I REALLY hope you’re reading this.)
Brave Peony Lady told me which city she’d driven in from — about an hour away. I had posted location details just a few hours before. “You know,” she said, “I figured it was really time to get out of my comfort zone and just come. So I told my husband I was going and he said, ‘Do it!’ So I did.” We hugged and high five’d. I wanted to cry because well, I cry at everything, but I could feel how big of a deal it was to just get in the car, on a week night, and go somewhere unknown, alone, with a big bouquet of flowers for someone you might not even meet, and to sit at the bar gnoshing on appies until the right moment to say, “I’m me, and I came to see you."
I know that moment. Big small incidental feeling monumental kind of moments. Going to my first 5 Rhythms class, my first tango lesson. Pitching myself to Gayle King at a party, in gold pants. Asking Deepak Chopra if he ever needed to rest, "...because, dude, you are the hardest working man in the New Age." The first time I rode my bike through a big city - in cwazy twaffic with my new shiny helmet! The first time I went to group therapy (first and last time, thank you very much). Alone. Not knowing. Just willing enough to get over it being a big deal.
Because there are a lot of times I just... don’t go. You know. I choose no big deal over New Little Big Deal. But it’s the New Little Big Deals that bring you alive.
Brave Peony Lady inspired me. I don't think she heard me, but I told her just that before she made the commute home, in between a wicked Californication re-mix. I looked at those peonies all week and thought, “Damn, maybe doing that New Little Big Deal set off a happy chain reaction for her.” It did for me.