The whole effing gorgeous point of desire mapping (and how I slipped off my own track).

For the last eight years, at the end of the year (and during my birthday week) I get my vision on. This season’s planning process was extra extra special because I had a full on “system’ for it — on my iPad and in print — and it was all mine. I made it myself and I called it: The Desire Map. [Insert Alleluia chorus of angels. Ahhhhleluia!]

As I scrawled notes inside my very own book, I thought, This must be how an architect feels when she walks into a building that she designed. Surreal.

Taking my own medicine

Jump cut to my process: I get to the “Intentions” section of The Desire Map Workbook. And — with my core desired feelings in mind — I inked out some goals for the New Year: Make a million on this; land a deal for that; get a zing for that bing. I made big, fat-but-specific-achievables.

And then I promptly felt … rather stressed. I know this feeling too well. The grip of goal fixation. (It’s the very feeling that I’m trying to help thousands of people move away from.) I slipped off my own track. I had gone into default mode of setting fixed goals, and I had weighted my goal list with career-based objectives. Doh.

Curled up in bed with Egyptian Chai tea and my very own Desire Map, I had to laugh at myself. I missed the whole effing gorgeous point of desire mapping.

This warrants some repetition and an exclamation point, which I rarely employ: I missed the whole effing gorgeous point of desire mapping! Which is this: To go after your intentions in ways that reflect your core desired feelings — Soul-affirming, not Soul-sucking. The goal-getting itself has to feel the way you most want to feel. The journey is indeed the destination.

Constant racing for success creates habitual and unconscious goal-setting. We need to re-learn how to move toward our dreams — with the grace of trust, the grit of devotion, and the thrill of true presence.

Jump cut to my Soul groove: The goal of “Make X dollars on X project” shifted to: “Get the message out to as many people as possible. Create liberation.”

“Launch project Y by Spring” turned into: “Make project Y incredibly beautiful”.

No dates. No numbers. No status. And I took my three career intentions for the year and put them below the three intentions I have for my heart-Soul-relationships.

My shoulders dropped. My over-heated brain felt spritzed. I felt so much softer. I felt my trust in life.

Trust is crucial to creating goals with Soul. Without numbers and targets to hold on to, you’ll only have your heart’s satisfaction to steer by — which is the whole effing gorgeous point, of course.

Break it open and reach right in.

True Love,


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